Why I don't Want children (page 2)

Realist

of course the reasons to have children are selfish...thats because everything we do is selfish.

safe4kids

Matty,

it depends on your definition of the word "Selfish", it doesn't have to always be a negative thing to be selfish

That was my point as well. You just said it more succinctly (Damn you! LOL)

Lucy,

So you believe then that there is only one possible reason for a woman to want to be a mother and only one possible reason for a man to want to be a father? I personally don't feel that human behavior or motivation, in ANY area, is that black and white.

Dana

Scully

Maybe the desire to have children, initially is a selfish one. However, as a parent, I can honestly say that the outcome is far different. Raising children is one of the most UNselfish things I've ever done. My whole life, and my husband's life, revolves around our children: providing for them, making sure they are getting the most out of their education, entertaining them and their friends when we can, and preparing them for adulthood.

Those of us with children "might" take offense to the statement that having children is selfish. Particularly those of us who've never gone on a cruise or a holiday at a Carribean resort etc, as our childless counterparts regularly might do. Parents frequently make sacrifices of things that they "want" for themselves in order for their children to have what they "need". That's not something I would classify as an act of selfishness.

Love, Scully

LuckyLucy

realist...believe it or not there are some people that are not selfish..People who adopt a child that is already in this world is the greatest thing!!

The "JW" thinking remark is so typical of someone that cannot make an intelligent reply. The JW in my area are for having babies...the more the better in fact. I can only speculate the reason why.. but not too long because it makes me sick to my stomach.

The "label" comment is well...we ALL label...or there would be no communication.
I have no desire to reproduce...I believe society puts this on us women.

undercover

I'm glad we didn't have kids. I would have hated to have raised kids to be JWs and then realize I screwed em up for life.

ChrisVance

Undercover - that's exactly what I did. Rasied my daughter as a jdub and really screwed her up. I sure wish I'd left the dubs when she was young so she could have had a life.

safe4kids

Scully,

Excellent points, as usual.

Lucy,

The "JW" thinking remark is so typical of someone that cannot make an intelligent reply.

I disagree. Here's a very simplistic example of JW thinking:

This is what I think, and if you don't agree with me, then you're wrong, selfish, bad (insert label of choice).

Here's an example of non-JW thinking:

This is what I think, but I realize not everyone agrees and perhaps there is some merit to your viewpoint.

Of course, JW's do not have the market cornered on this type of thinking. I see your point, Lucy, and even agree with you to an extent; however, it appears to me that you are saying anyone who wants to have a child is wrong or bad for choosing to do so, and it's that position with which I disagree. If I'm missing something, please correct me.

Dana

Xena

I am with you Scully....it does't FEEL very selfish from this side!

I didn't want children, my husband did so I compromised and we had one. I am glad we did because I believe the world is a better place for her being in it, she has the potential to do big things...make the world a better place....and she brings joy to most everyone that interacts with her (ok well MOST of the time).

But children are not for everyone...lol and more than one kid? I take my hat off to you parents! Everyone has to make their own decisions based on their own circumstances and needs....selfish? Perhaps, but as Dana and Matty pointed out so well, isn't most of what we do selfish to some degree?

Realist

Lucky,

in what way is that not selfish? these people adopt a child to have someone they can care for...they can love etc.

they do so because it makes them happy...so why is this not considered selfish?

LuckyLucy

My mother is rittled with the guilt that she raised us in this cult. My father was a raging alcholic and she was too young to handle all us kids. This cult was her only outlet at the time.

Why I don't Want children

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