by Robdar 21 Replies latest jw friends
Perfectly natural Robdar.
All of us who left feel the same way sometimes. Those who say they never do are lying. We had friends we loved, and some friends we still love in spite of the separation. We did have some good times. Reflect on the good things and always hope the best for old friends you may have "lost". Don't ask "why?"
Mike.
Like I said,I don't have sentimental feelings about the hall and I am NOT lying.What is there to feel sad about when you were just an outcast?They're probably just as glad I'm gone as I am to be gone.I guess that's why none of the elders have been by in the whole ten months since I left.No one has the right to accuse someone of lying unless they have walked in their shoes.
Robbie
I am not ambivalent,..... yes i am, .......no i'm not!
mac I am, mac I,m not
I grew up in a congregation with a whole batch of kids our age. We had tons of fun together. Boys and girls together, there as many as 15 of us, depending on how and when you wanted to count. Got in front of some inquisitions too. I miss them - the boys and girls of my youth. And I regret not knowing the men and women that they could have become.
Twenty years later, some are still there, or congregations close by. Recently I heard some news about one of the old crew whose daughter had been molested. And my old friend, dear daddy, did nothing. And my other old friend, dear uncle, did nothing. And my other old friends, who should have been as close as uncles, did nothing. Its been bothering me ever since. I would be so ashamed to be associated with men that are so indoctrinated that they have forgotten how to stand up for their daughters, neices, etc.
I detest the men that those boys became. Zero ambivalence here.
Hi Robdar,
I was having a touch of what you describe...mostly I miss a very small number of people I grew up with and had a lot of fond memories with.
Well, this last weekend I visited one of my best friends. It was so awful, I felt sick literally afterwards.
There was so much I wanted to say, but they are just such robots and so closed minded. My friend went on and on about home schooling her two kids (who by the way looked absolutely miserable) and how there aren't any kids their ages at the KH so they are mostly alone, and her son who is a talented musician can't play in the school orchestra because of patriotic songs...urgh!!!
That pretty much cured me.
All the experiences in our life make up who we are today. The good and the bad. Being a JW for most of us was not bad all the time. Especially for those that were raised in this religion it has a hudge bearing on ones development. As a child you are developing your personality, standards, values etc. You know that old expression there is a fine line between hate and love.
Leslie
Robdar, when we left the JW, we left town and we even left the house we were living in. My hubby had to work out of town and we decided to go with him , and I needed to clear my head on my decision to walk away from the only religion and way of life I had ever known.
We came back home over a month later and moved to a little town about 15 miles from our old house. We wanted to be closer to some of the stores and town. We still own the old house were the kids were raised in their young years and where we lived when we were JW's.
I was in the house the other day , and it seems like the family that lived there, just died, vanished. Our old meeting clothes still hang in the closets, the bookbags are dusty and still have magazines dated March 2001. There are bound volumes, other countless books, dress shoes, and all the reminders of what our life used to be like.
I found my husbands old field service record book, he took alot of pride in putting the little index tabs on the pages for each little town in our territory. I had to smile and felt a little sad too.
I guess I know what you mean. I do miss some of the parts of that life, only because it was OUR life , there were good times, we had as a family because we tried to be happy. We all tried to please God and thought we were secure in our future about the new world.
We have all changed so much in just a year, I almost cried looking back 2 or 3 yrs ago of my 15 yr old son in his suit and bookbag,,,,,,,,,,,,, he seemed so innocent back then, LOL,,,,maybe he wasnt but it just seems like he was.
I don't want to go back, but I cant say I hate all the memories because that would make our family life such a wasted time, and it wasnt really, I would choose to not be JW, but we were together as a family and we made it out as a family. I think my whole JW experience has made me appreciate life so much more, the right here the right now. I hope it will teach my kids the same thing. I hope they will look back on those meeting pictures and not be so bitter,,,, since they did get out in time.
Reading your post made me remember my first girl friend, my best mate who died as a witness and some good friends who I can't speak to now. These were happy memories. Just because we may have turned away from the organisation does not take away our life time experiences and memories. Nostalgia is an amazing thing.
I had a lot of ambivalence for the first couple of years, mostly because of the waiting to find a new way to live. That new way to live found me, through this board. And I only came to this board because AlanF said it was a good place. I'm so glad I took his suggestion, because I truly think I otherwise would still be waiting to live again, and suffering from the consequential ambivalence.
Instead, now I look at my 38 baptized years merely as a job I once had...learned some things, made some friends, had some good benefits. Like hillbilly remarked, I'm just moving on with life.
My thoughts and feelings are no longer split between the past and the future.
Craig
I feel nostalgic for the fantasy, that nothing bad is gonna happen to me, that just when things are looking their worst Jesus-Michael is going to come riding to the rescue.
