I talked to the "father" today and asked him why would he be involved in a religion that hurts people. He said he couldn't bear losing his family-he said they would treat him as dead.
I thought he was already disfellowshipped and trying to get reinstated??? If that's the case, then he's already being shunned and treated as dead, and will continue to be treated that way until he is reinstated and an announcement is made to that effect. Even after a reinstatement, JWs often regard the individual with some degree of suspicion, so some of the stigma of having been DFd remains for a long time.
It sounds to me like he's giving you, your daughter and their unborn child a royal snow-job. He is just trying to find an excuse to welch on his responsibilities, and he's using a piss-poor excuse at that. He didn't seem to care about losing his family while he was boinking your daughter....
Anyone who would choose their parents over their own child is going to make a lousy father. He's still so wrapped up in getting their approval that he's done your daughter and their baby a huge disservice and dishonour. Talk to a social worker ASAP.
Love, Scully