(((Joelbear))) If so many people throughout history have held on to beliefs of a better world/afterlife/heaven or whatever it may be, then surely they all cannot have been wrong there must be something better than this life. Thats about as certain as I can get at this point, Joelbear. We were lied to and led astray, but new friends, new dreams, new hopes are still out there, ones you can make happen. Im thinking about you.
The People and the Dream
by joelbear 23 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
Reborn2002
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Joelbear)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Joel my friend, I do know how you feel.
I was born into the Jehovah's Witnesses, a 3rd generation member. Even my mother was BORN into the JW's 55 years ago.
The only people I was allowed to associate with as a child were JW's. All of my friends my entire childhood were JW's. When I realized after tedious research that I was living a lie and no longer wanted to remain a member of the JW's, every single friend I had known for years simultaneously turned their back on me and I lost every single one of those so-called friends.
One of my new friends said something poignant, and maybe it will help gain you some solace.
He said that if someone is truly your friend, then a difference of belief in something like religion will not keep you from one another and from maintaining the friendship. A REAL friend does not abandon you because you believe something different than they do. If anything, they respect your opinion and welcome the diverseness in culture. And, if a friend does this, how much more should you expect from a family member?
Those words made me think.
If these "worldly" people are capable of this, and the JW's are not, then just how fucked up are the JW's?
Then again, I do not need to preach to you about the faults of the WT. You already know this.
The matter boils down to this. Are you more content KNOWINGLY living a lie? Or do you prefer to know the Truth about the Troof and subsequently feel pity and sorrow at the people who are still ensnared by it whose friendships you once treasured?
Not very good friends if they abandon you because you leave the religion if you ask me. I know full well that the doctrines teach that is what they must do, and if they believe the WT laws wholeheartedly and genuinely think it is in your best interest, there is reason (albeit stupid in my opinion) why they act as they do. Nevertheless, I have SEEN friendships grow past that. I have seen people say TO HELL with WT laws even when they believed to maintain a friendship because they truly loved that person.
How is Mitch? I hope he is well. The reason I ask is you must cherish the true friends and loves you have in your life NOW. Everyone suffers Joel. Everyone carries the burden of loss sometime in their life. All the more so if one was once a member of the WT cult. It is a burden you will carry for the rest of your life. But you are strong, and I KNOW you can overcome it.
My sincerest thoughts and best wishes go out to you my friend.
-
joelbear
This is the best thread I have started in a while.
I particularly appreciate Mulan's response. If one dream fails so on after another one, have many dreams. Those were words I needed to here and I thank her for it. One reason I've been down is my dream of being a Math teacher has failed, I couldn't handle the higher Maths and the pressure was too great for me. I've changed my major to Marketing and am thinking of pursuing a dream to become a marketing or advertising consultant.
I have a new set of friends that I am hanging around. I have been paying attention to making friends that have more in common with me. Some friends have fallen by the wayside and new friends have come in to take there place.
Like it or not, my life goes through transitions, some chosen, some forced. I had a number of close friends in Valdosta as I was growing up. We were quite a gang. We had a blast together. But then came time to leave the nest and move to Jacksonville and these friends drifted into the past. After a few years I had a completely new set of friends in Jacksonville and we were having a blast together. Then I "came out" and moved to Atlanta. This also resulted in the loss of communications with all of my brother's family that I was very close to. Back to square one.
After about 6 months I began to make gay friends, including meeting Mitch at a gay help line training class. I started a coming out group for people that were dealing with the issue and I made a new set of friends that I had this in common with. We had a lot of fun getting to know each other and going out to gay bars for the first time and getting ourselves grounded in the new world in which we found ourselves.
I hung out with this set of friends for about 5 years. Then I discovered the gay "bear" world. A group that I had more in common with and slowly my set of friends shifted. I joined the bear club, when to bear meetings, holiday parties, etc. I had a good time with this group of friends too.
Now 10 years later I am finding new friends in the independent bear community, non-club attached. I have made a group of friends that like to travel, like board games, like science fiction, like the same things I do. I am again going through a conversion to a new set of friends.
I still reminisce about the "good old days" with my JW buds and especially my JW family.
I continue to try to recreate a family for myself since it continues to be clear that things will never progress much with my JW family. This Thursday is Thanksgiving with a great group of friends. I will follow the tradition of taking my pecan cookies and a couple of different flavored quiches.
Life goes on. I need to move on. Its really hard for me to let go.
hugs
Joel
-
MYOHNSEPH
Two guy ostriches were chasing two girl ostriches. One girl ostrich says to the other girl ostrich, "Hey, let's hide from them!" The other girl ostrich says, "Hey, let's do!" So they immediately stopped and stuck their heads in the sand. As soon as they did, one guy ostrich said to the other guy ostrich, "Hey! Where did they go??"
I'm just as happy not being an ostrich anymore!