Final update on she left?

Yerusalyim

I put a question mark on this cuz I don't know where to turn. I have confirmed and she has admitted to three affairs in our eight years of marriage. I don't know if I could ever trust her again. Man, this SUCKS! I originally had planned a diatribe against her in this forum that Simon would have had to lock because of profanity. I've calmed down a bit since then. Three affairs...one while she was crying about wanting to come home to me from NYC.

I once turned down a gal in Germany that showed me her thong under her dress, took me by the hand and led me into a bathroom in an empty office over lunch and said I could do whatever I wanted. I thanked her and turned her down cold. Females, explain to me why women have affairs.

sign me hurt and confused, and thanks for allowing me to dump,

to tie this into the JW topic, while riding to work every day she talks to a "sista" about our relationship, wonder what kind of advice she's getting about her "opposser husband"

MrMoe

Yeru - I never cheated on my ex, so don't ask me. I don't understand the mentality of it. If you TRULY love somebody, you would not cheat, period.

Sweetie, sorry ur hurting. One trust is broken, it's broken, and once a cheater always a cheater.

*hugs*

pettygrudger

((YERU))

Because, like men, some women suck!!!! From all you've said, your wife is a deeply troubled woman who needs ALOT of help. You've known this for so long, I'm surprised that you're suprised that she was unfaithful.

You have the right to be happy Yeru - with someone who isn't screwed up in the head & won't hurt you. There are alot of women out there like that who would LOVE the chance at a good relationship.

Sorry this sucks so bad for you right now. Wish there was something I could do or say to make it better (wanna argue politics?)

Rhonda

WildHorses

Yeru,

I know exactly how you feel. I have been cheated on by every man I've had a serious relationship with, but I myself have never cheated.

I wonder why it is that the ones that don't cheat, always end up with those who do?

Shari

snakecharmer

hey yaru, been there, done that.... time heals all wounds even if you dont believe it right now.just wait it gets better.

Scully

Hi Yeru

I tried to find the answer to my question in some of your previous threads, but I couldn't find it.... but I seem to remember you saying that your wife has a mental illness.... is that right?? or am I thinking of someone else?? For some reason, "bipolar" comes to mind when I try to recall things you've mentioned about your wife.

If this is the case, then you should be aware that the impulsive behaviour, risk taking behaviour, and promiscuity are some of the components of a bipolar person as they exhibit manic symptoms. She needs medical intervention, and she needs to find medication that works for her. Some people can become addicted to the "high" they achieve during sex..... it's like a drug to them.

I wouldn't blame you if you needed to just wash your hands of her and her behaviour; bipolar individuals can be the most emotionally draining and manipulative people to have in your life. On the other hand, if you have it in your heart to understand that her behaviour is the illness manifesting itself as her condition worsens, and can support her while she learns how to deal with her illness, then maybe it's not a lost cause. The second alternative is definitely the most difficult way to go, and you may not succeed in the end, but sometimes knowledge and understanding helps heal things, along with time.

(If I'm mistaken about what I think I remember you writing in previous posts, just ignore me, ok??)

Love, Scully

Yerusalyim

Scully,

Nope, you had it right, my wife is Miss Mood Swing with a late in life diagnosis of bi-polar disorder. She keeps promising to do inpatient therapy as her one time counselor suggested. What I have to figure out is if I can get past the anger (the F'ing B was out F'ing around while I was cooking and cleaning and working too) and the pride issue, I've been cuckolded, worse yet, my tongue has been places it shouldn't have been if she was with someone else. The final blow was that in none of the three cases she's admitted to did she have the guy wear protection (trip to the doctor come Monday to have tests done I'm scared sh*tless of STD's).

A big part of me is saying keep running and don't look back, but there's that part of me committed to the vows I took at our wedding. I guess it's time to go talk to my priest, to reflect, and to decide if I can live with what she's done.

Again, thanks for letting me dump.

DakotaRed

Yeru, I can relate to your hurt. Two of my wives also cheated and it felt like a knife in my gut too. The third, also not a sexual cheat, would rather have the Watchtower than me, so not much different.

How could you trust a mate after that? I haven't a clue. I too have turned down some pretty fine women over the years due to my being married at the time. Now, I've gone gray and aged a bit, so the offers don't come as much as they used to.

It all has left me leery of getting serious with another woman, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?

If you need a buddy, contact me, anytime.

Lew W

Yerusalyim

Thanks Lew,

I just got off the Instant Message with one of her friends who told me that my wife had also met with two guys she met on the Internet. I suspect there's more, I suspect I need to run the other way.

SixofNine

and to decide if I can live with what she's done.

Don't you mean what she's done, what she's doing, and what she will no doubt continue to do?

Honestly Yeru, the way you've described her in the past, it certainly isn't surprising that she was screwing around.

Move on, and feel good about yourself for doing it. In the clear light of day, don't you deserve your own kindness far more than she does. Won't you make more of your life (if you give yourself the gift of having one) from here on out?

There is nothing wrong or bad about holding out for a quality individual to share your life.

Final update on she left?

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