Final update on she left? (page 2)

WildHorses

Now, I've "gone gray and aged a bit", so the offers don't come as much as they used to.

Believe me when I say this Lew. Thay gray and aging looks good on you. Thank your lucky stars you live so far away or you'd have an offer right about now.

Buster

It seems like you've come a long way since you posted the first thread about this delightful spouse of yours. Be proud of yourself. I'm certain of one thing, you're going to be better off.

Reborn2002

I have confirmed and she has admitted to three affairs in our eight years of marriage.
diagnosis of bi-polar disorder
I just got off the Instant Message with one of her friends who told me that my wife had also met with two guys she met on the Internet.

5 guys in 8 years while being married to you and claiming to love you and lying in bed with you at night? HELL NO I would not trust her. Nor could I ever trust her again. Anyone who cheats on you with FIVE DIFFERENT GUYS OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT show respect for the sanctity of marriage, nor love you very much.

Yes, I think you should RUN.

NeonMadman

Yeru, a few years ago, I was very close to where you are now. My wife was talking about leaving, and I didn't know what I would do if she left. I felt like a failure because my marriage was falling apart. I couldn't see a future that made any sense. I, too, was concerned about the vows I made on my wedding day, and would never have broken them, no matter how miserable I was.

But I didn't break them. She did. She had an affair, then divorced me on the grounds of her own adultery (but really, because I was a lousy JW). She really left me no choices (other than to go back to the KH, which I couldn't do and still have a shred of self-respect left). So she left, and, for a while, tore my world apart. It was devastating, both personally and financially.

But one thing was certain: the day I stood on my porch with divorce papers in my hand that had just been served on me, there was, in my mind, no going back. It was over forever between us; there was no way she was going to ever get a chance to put me through this again. So I let her move out without saying a word about it; even borrowed a truck from work and helped her move.

And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, I'm out of the cult, away from the pure horror that my first marriage had become, and am married to my high school sweetheart. You just need to hang on through the pain of separation, then take a look around and get on with your life. There's a wonderful world out there waiting for you.

new boy

Hay, why would a Catholic Chaplain in the army marry a JW in the first place?

You need to look at into yourself -------------to see what was there about YOU, that drew this to yourself!

You a Catholic making fun of JWS---------Thats the pot calling the kettle BLACK.

teejay

Sorry to hear about your marital woes, Yeru. My first wife cheated on me, so I know a little bit about the issues. I forgave her, or thought I did. The only thing is, after a while I realized the importance of trust as a major component of a committed relationship. It wasn't so much the illicit sex she had ... it was the trust I no longer felt for her.

I finally figured that I didn't have to be with someone to be miserable. I could just as easily be miserable all by myself.

DakotaRed

Newboy, unless your comments were tongue in cheek, I feel they were out of line. Nothing like kicking a guy when he's down. Living with a bi-polar spouse is pure hell, been there, done that. They might not be fully responsible for their condition, but it wreaks havoc on those around them. Some are really effective at hiding it temporarily too. Even if they don't end up cheating, they make those around them miserable.

Lucky me, my ex and her three kids all had it.

Shari, thanks, you made my day Wanna move to Washington State?

Lew W

Scully

Hi again Yeru:

A big part of me is saying keep running and don't look back, but there's that part of me committed to the vows I took at our wedding. I guess it's time to go talk to my priest, to reflect, and to decide if I can live with what she's done.

I think it's great that you're committed to the vows you took at your wedding. However you deserve someone who is equally committed to the vows she takes with you at your wedding. Having read your most recent instalments in this dilemma, I'm all for putting the relationship in your past. She isn't about to go for treatment (because if she was serious about it she would have done it already), and her screwing around on you while you worked and took care of the home should be regarded with the same disdain as if the tables were turned (ie, if the guy was the one screwing around... we'd be telling the female partner to dump him like last week's trash, kick him to the curb and make sure he bounces a few times). From what you've said about her in the past, she's manipulative, lazy, verbally and emotionally abusive, and now you find out that she can't keep her legs crossed. Do you really believe she's capable of changing? I think you deserve better. Say "Goodbye and God Bless You" and move on. Just because she's good in bed (now you know why, right??) doesn't mean she's worth hanging onto.

Run like the wind, my friend.

Love, Scully

TR

yeru,

A big part of me is saying keep running and don't look back, but there's that part of me committed to the vows I took at our wedding.

She broke the vows. They are not valid anymore. You certainly have a right to divorce. Better get a lawyer on tap. Seriously.

TR

LB

I was played a fool by my first wife. She promised lots of changes, told me how much I meant to her and also managed to make me feel a little bit guilty when it came to her cheating.

Get out of it while you can. She isn't worth the paper you wipe your ass with.

Final update on she left?

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