Final update on she left? (page 3)

scootergirl

I am going to go out on a limb here and confess something very personal about myself. Please keep in mind, I ask that no one "bashes" me for this.

A long time ago, I cheated. I was in a relationship w/a man (my ex) and we had troubles. But most of all......I had troubles. I was miserable w/myself and thought (lack of judgement) that being with someone else would make me happy. It didn't. It made matters worse. Worse for our relationship, worse for myself. It was a moment of pleasure that ended up being a whole lot of pain. It hurt my partner, the person I 'cheated' with and most of all I hurt myself. I make no excuses for my behavior. My ex and I were never married, but did live together for 7years......we were planning on getting married and this incident w/me happened about 3-4 years into our relationship. I can't explain it, Michael......it happened. I was truely sorry for what I did. He forgave me but it took me a long time to forgive myself. We eventually did end up splitting up.....the problems we had in our relationship never quite did get fixed. Our split was for the better. Mind you, he was no angel in our relationship, but that is by-gones. After many years of being apart, we are now "friends".

I remember when I took my vows to my current husband. I vowed "for better and for worse". Most days they are "for better" but there are somedays "for worse" makes me scratch my head. But I tell you what, I respect my marriage and my vows that I will never make that mistake again. I cherish and respect our marriage vows. And I respect that my husband feels the same as I do.

Time does heal all wounds. Sometimes people just aren't meant to be together. This may be a blessing in disquise for you. You never know what wonderful person is waiting for you down the road.

** hanging head and hoping that people understand that scootergirl is human and does make mistakes.

bluesapphire

OUCH!!!! (((((((Yeru)))))))

Are you sure she's telling you the truth? Maybe she's lying to hurt you or make you jealous? Regardless, I wouldn't take her back. She's got problems that you don't need. I feel so bad for you. All I can say is I'm sorry.

somebody

Here's my two cents.

MEN and WOMEN may stray to affairs because the love between the TWO is not there. By the time one or the other sees that, they are usually married and then feel trapped and just "settle". They can stay ina marriage because they don't want to hurt the child/children they created. And that's all fine and dandy. But once the child/children grow to be adults and go their own way, you both find yourselves to be two very lonely and perhaps bitter people. Once two people find love and FEEL love between the TWO of them, I can't see any of them straying from one another. Hoepfully, they find each other and THEN raise a family. But it doesn't always work out that way. Especailly when people take on the work and responsibilty of marriage at a young age.

One person cannot make a love relationship work when they are working alone/solo. They will slowly die trying. You can't FORCE a person to feel love for you no matter how bad you want them to feel the way you may feel for them. This is an extrememly hard lesson in life to learn, but harder to accept.

Like the saying goes...It takes two. When two people truly love each other, the work and resposibility of marriage isn't work at all. It's a responsibility, yes. But it's not "work" so to speak. It's an honor rather than a job.

I'm not making light of your pain, Yeru. I'm just spilling my feelings to try and give you my view of the question you asked.

peace,

somebody

waiting

Why is it so many of my responses to Yeru begin with "awwwe, Yeru."

(((((((Awwwwwwwwe, Yeru.)))))))) You actually read a lot better than you did a couple of weeks ago. What Somebody said is true....it takes two. I've been through a divorce - and he cheated mightily, and was scum to boot, but it still took me 12 years to leave.

I got 3 excellent, beautiful, intelligent children from that man, and they must have mutated back to the grandparents for their excellence - but he did give me them. Other than that trio - I got nothing from him but heartache. And the damned fool won't die and I carry his life insurance....but I'm waiting *faithfully* for that day of vengence.

Hang in there - you actually sound pretty good for all that's happened. It will take time to figure all the feelings out - and it's worth the time.

((((((((((scooter))))))))))))) Thank you.

waiting

somebody

((((((((scootergirl)))))))

Time does heal all wounds. Sometimes people just aren't meant to be together. This may be a blessing in disquise for you. You never know what wonderful person is waiting for you down the road.

I found that to be SOOO true!

((((((((((((Yeru)))))))))))))

Hugs to you and may you have strength to get through this very hard time in your life. I know you will get through it. As scootergirl said...time does heal all wounds. Your pain will at least be eased with time.

somebody

waiting { I still love that name and it's meaning! }

What Somebody said is true....it takes two. I've been through a divorce - and he cheated mightily, and was scum to boot, but it still took me 12 years to leave.

Took me 18 years. I don't regret it though. For myself and my children, it was the right thing to do. Might not for others, depending on their situation. But I have no regrets for what I put up with in the past.

peace,

somebody

freedom96

Yero-

You so deserve to be with someone who wants you as much as you want them, and to have respect and love for each other.

I know it is painfull now, and it is hard to imagine what is out there for you. Sounds to me like life will be much more consistant for you with her gone. Sounds like time to move on.

Down the road, you will be able to look back knowing you made the right decision.

I was in a horrible relationship, and it took a long time for me to end it. But I did, and took a break from the dating scene, and finally ended up with a wonderful wife. I cannot even begin to describe the difference, and how it makes me feel now.

I never knew it could be so good.

Yerusalyim

Dear God, when it rains it pours. My neighbor just informed me that Tuesday during a locker search at school a "gerber tool" was found in my daughter's locker. For the uninitiated, a "Gerber tool" is a multi tool item, it has pliers, screw drivers, can openers a saw blade and a KNIFE blade. My daughter was in North Carolina with her biological mother at the time. So now I'm facing the real possibility that Emily will be expelled from school because of the zero tolerance policy. SH*T! Emily's explanation is that she got it out of my tool box to take to a friends house to help her work on her bike, and left it in her book bag that she carried her clothes in (she was spending the night). It almost sounds believable, but darn it, that zero tolerance thing kinda gets in the way of intention, which to my mind at least is real important. Man, ain't if fun to watch little bits of your life crumble one after the other? For those who believe in a Higher Power, that's who I rely on to get me through this rough spot, for those who reject a higher power, consider it intestinal fortitude, I'll get through this mess somehow.

As for the Liza issue. Praying and thinking and sorting out feelings. She denies meeting the two guys she was talking to on the net. Another friend of hers says Liza told her it was only cyber. still, that leaves three guys that she admits to laying down for. Prayers, well wishes and thoughts welcomed. Most of all, thanks for letting me dump.

NEW GUY, what's your problem dude?

LB

We deal with that at our local highschool too. There are times when it seems stupid. But the kids know. I have a gerber and it's obvious to all that it's primarily a knife. Your daughers history will probably play a huge factor. Even with zero tolerance. Hopefully she can patch it up. If not she'll have to transfer.

Don't buy anything your wife says buddy. I regret believing anything. If she cheated on just one guy would you be grateful for that? Or just two instead of the 3 she admits too? How many before it's too many for you? Most of us think one is too much.

Scooter no one will dump on you. Everyone loves you and your candor. It's appreciated.

New boy, easy to sit there in the safety of your computer room isn't it. I have a feeling you wouldn't talk smack to Yeru face to face. I'm sure I wouldn't.

OUTLAW

Hey Yerusalyim,bud it`s three times that she`s admited to..People who cheat on you,are people who will cheat on you,and that includes the lies that go along with it..I would chew my own leg off to get away from that woman.Thats a fact,LOL!.....Don`t be to hard on your daughter.Kids do dumb-ass stuff,they`re just growing up.She`ll be an adult before you know it,and you don`t want something like this to mar your relationship.Just remind her that she must pay more attention to things like this or,there are concequences that are`nt sometimes very nice..This is your chance to be the good guy,every dad needs all the chances he can get...OUTLAW

Edited by - OUTLAW on 1 December 2002 23:17:27

Final update on she left?

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