6 months out and at times doubtful

by Leander 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • apocalypse
    apocalypse

    Its a tough go. I was/am in a similar situation with my family. Over the years, since I am a thinker and a not to bad student, I slowly came to the conclusion that there was something rotten in Denmark with regard to the Societys teachings.

    I became more and more agitated until I sneaked to the library to read CofC. WOW, what an eye opener. I didnt have much time to read in the library, so I wrote down the address and mailed for the book. I couldnt have it sent to the house, for if my wife had found out, it would have been asltalawego for our marriage. SO, I went out and got a post box. Over time, I got lots of books and read them all secretly at work. These books, along with my personal study brought me up to speed. I had found the answers to my questions.

    But! I had to keep it secret. I didnt like that, but I was between a rock and a hard place. I could tell my wife, but I knew her well enough to know that I would be in the doghouse forever if I did. I wasnt about to miss seeing my son to bed at night etc(family activities) What to do, what to do.

    I read a few posts from Amazing and he talked about how to affect your family for the good and help pry open closed eyes. It wasnt perfect, but it did help. I realized early that you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him/her drink.

    The person has to want to see it. So, my objective was clear. My wife is a practical person, and she has a great love for our son, so this is where her powers of thinking had to develop.

    Now remember, she was very organizational. For example, one night, she interrogated me with regard to how I felt for the governing body. It was difficult to play the middle of the road and NOT say what I really felt about those old men, based on what I knew of their deviant behavior. And there were many other long nights where she was very angry. Not because I told her anything, only because she suspected that I was not totally devoted to them as was she.

    There was little I could do, but pray. And of course drop a few words time and again, at the right time. For instance, one night I asked her When did Jesus start to reign? She answered as you would think, 1914. Then I asked How long is Jesus reign? TO which she said 1000 years. Then I stated, in a low voice, Then theres only 900 years left.

    From this she drew a sharp burst, as if I had touched an open wound with a salty finger. I expected this response, but it made her think. Also, when it came to the blood doctrine, she had a lot of questions. Remember, we have a child. She is sensitive to that.

    So, I gave her information only enough to make her doubt further. I left her on her own to make a mental decision on this issue. Well, of course she could not. It is impossible for a person, once they have begun to think, to take the Societys self contradictory doctrine and make heads or tails out of it. Most JWs just put it out of their mind hoping that I wont happen to me, so I need not worry about it.

    But my wife could not do that. She was in the have to know state of mind. So, I gently helped her see what she needed to see, a little at a time like bringing a person out of a dark cave after a lifetime in the dark.

    The topper I think was the UN issue. I had researched it thoroughly. I knew what I was talking about as I had called Paul Hoeffel at the UN myself and begged him a half an hour to make a letter and send it to another helper. This helper worked hard. I got a scan. I had the rest.

    I then dropped a hint of the ordeal to my wife. The rest is history.

    She is sitting beside me as I write this. She actually wanted me to respond to your post.

    This took me about 5 years from start to finish. And I am not out of the woods yet. We still go to the hall as if nothing is happening. Its tough, but we do it for the sake of aging parents who would die if we left.

    Service, we fake it. Meeting, we get through them. Assemblies, we do what we can.

    I think we can all agree of the destructive effect this organization can have. In your case, since you have already come out, I dont know what to tell you other than what I did. I prayed often, and I did what I could to slip in a few facts that I knew would disturb her. Like throwing a monkey wrench in the WTS works.

    What goes in to the mind is IN. It stays there and it works over time. Add to it slowly.

    Tell her that you want her to help you understand the 607, 1914 stuff. Its very easy to cause a traffic jam in her brain using only the Insight volumes. I can show you how. Its a snap. A few questions later and she will be awake all night thinking of it. Its a start.

    In any case, I hope you can keep it together and work it out.

  • hawkaw
    hawkaw

    Welcome apocalypse,

    I am not a JW but I sure know a lot of JWs especially in Ontario.

    I know many who have told me similar stories and how tough it was on them. I have seen first hand occurences of the action of just spilling the beans to the spouse. It usually caused serious divorce situations as well as other serious problems especially if children are involved. There have been many cases I have heard that have ended this way - so sad. And that shunning and creed bigtry stuff ... uggggg.

    You and your spouse are soooo lucky that both of you have now taken the blinders off. And, yes you are so right - in that the spouse/friend/relative must figure it out on their own ..... with a little push every now and then from you (which BTW is not a prayer but a subtle subvergence tactic and helps more than you know over time).

    Your spouse is damn lucky that you figured out a way to save your entire family's relationship and helped her discover, on her own, the most important gift anyone can get - freedom!!!!

    I see she is touched by the blood doctrine, which is one of my specialities when it comes to this mess. Osarsif was nice enough to let me post my Monochorionic gestation information to the world (http://www.geocities.com/osarsif/twins.htm ) as well as my Joe Priestly information. I created them to help the thinking process along a little. But there needs to be a will to think about this stuff like that, the child abuse issue and of course that minor UN thingy.

    Personally I always think the Matt 24:44 along with the Matt 24:45,46, then changing "arriving" with "having come", and then going where that little tick mark by "Happy" wants to take you are really good ways to get someone to think about the FDS. The cool thing is .... once they start to think it goes expontentially!!!! Then they know more than you.

    Anyway I am glad she is out and glad you are out too. Tell her that I hope she seeks excellent counselling - as she may need it to fully recover from the anger and emptiness that she may feel.

    Tell her that she is more than welcome to post on this board too or you guys can Email me if you or her want too - I don't bite but I do have limited time though. Posting on the board is kinda .... well .... tough at times seeing we do have the odd disagreement but that is how you test stuff. If you are smart enough to call Hoeffel, you are smart enough to figure out how to get a hold of me and my Email via Zev or Bill.

    One final note - when you guys finally leave the Borg, please, please, please - enjoy your freedom.

    Take care of yourselves and your little one.

    hawk

    p.s. - the original Hoeffel letter is sitting right beside me in its orginal envelope. I still remember all the calls that Thursday morning to Hoeffel's office and his secretary saying he is not available even though he promised to call me and tell me he would be sending a letter. Then Hoeffel phones me at 3:30 pm that Thursday and says I don't really want to do the letter even though he had promised to do the letter. By the time I was done, Hoeffel agreed to a longer letter than what he orginally promised, that the letter would not have my name on it, and he agreed to input at least 5 of the 6 requests that I wanted in the letter to make it factually accurate for any JWs. I asked for it to be facsimiled to me with the original to be mailed. Damned if he didn't do it that night and my original letter came in the mail the next Wednesday. His parting words to me that October Thursday afternoon were - ".... get this letter out to all of the people so that all these JWs and exJWs will quit phoning DPI - my staff can't take it". Of course to this day, Paul still refuses to hand over the file with the 1991 application and all those annual renewal applications. And of course after the letter came out more phone calls came from angry JWs and exJWs trying to find out what happened and even the WTS had to respond (ahhh the embarassment of the UN actually been taken by the Jehovah's Witnesses - a bad group in the eyes of the UN - is still too much for DPI's management team). But give Hoeffel credit that he did alert the UN library to the crisis who will send you a copy of the Hoeffel letter via Email or facsimile if you ask for it.

    If you ever want to see the original October 11, 2002 letter or the other UN letters that DPI sent to me, or an original UN books that lists the WTS as an "associate NGO with DPI", or photocopies of the Muller book relating to the 1991 WT article please give me an Email. I also gave Zev a ton of stuff for his web site at http://www.geocities.com/plowbitch69

    Edited by - hawkaw on 10 December 2002 14:43:14

  • justhuman
    justhuman

    Leander

    I had the same problem although I'm not disassociate from JW I attend meetings 1-2 times a month only. I step down from all the "privalages" I had(elder) Mainly I "stay" because of my sick father who was CO. So I decided to fade out.

    Trying to talk to your wife wouldn't work. The Victims of the WT have to realize by themselfs that they are in a false religion. If you try to point out their wrong way they will responce negatively(doubt it is from Satan) and turn against you. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SHOW THEM from old Books (Russell's, Rutherford's) that the WT has been a false prophet and a big hoax they WILL NOT UNDERSTAND. They are blinded by the WT.

    Your only hope is God to help them. Maybe it would have been better if you started very slowly to point out one error or show your point as a question. For example you could have said to our wife:

    "It is very strange but Russell used the Pyramids as God's Witness for he's prophesies it something that concerns me, since no prophesy of Russell has been fullfield"

    No matter what don't go directly against them.

    Hope that my suggestions will help you

  • cbew
    cbew

    Leander

    Take comfort that you are not alone in your situation. I recently left myself and at times it has been very fustrating and discouraging trying to show the ones you love the deception and lies of the Watchtower. I read somewhere once that comming to accept the truth about the Watchtower organization is like someone comming to the realization that their mother or father ,whom they love and respected all their life, is a murderer and liar. The mind just does not want to accept such a truth no matter how much factual information is presented as it shatters their sense of security and everything they have come to believe and accept. The best thing you can do for your wife now is not try to force the issue in a confrontational showdown. Show her love and respect her feelings and opinions but at the same time gradually share with her the truth about the Watchtower - doing so in a nonconfrontational way. Eventually she may come around and see the organization for what it really is. Another wonderful avenue open to us from our loving Creator is prayer. Do pray for her. Ask God to help free her from her mental bondage and no matter what do not give in or give up. Hope this is of help.

  • sheepwithnoname
    sheepwithnoname

    hi,

    well according to the dire warnings about dangerous internet sites.i guess i am about to become an 'apostate' with this my first post......

    i'm teetering on the edge after 40 years in the borg..

    i empathise with your situation..your wife is probably facing awkward situations without you at the meetings..

    in my experience the questions,innuendo,imputing comes from so called concerned 'sheep'

    who are basically trying to pick up on juicy goss to share with other numb minds(beats actually trying to emulate their exemplar!!!!)

    pressure is put on family members within..the attempt is to embarras u back and what better way than an emotional pressure(not t mention the emotional pressure u are already both experiencing and trying to come to terms with)..elders will generally sit back hoping something might come of this

    in my own situation pressure was brought on my elderly mother too to shame me back and i know the elders did their check ups on me through her..

    i'm seriously considering a total break and inventing a 'new life' away from the pressures that still haunt..

    anyway i wish u the best in your endeavours

    heartfelt best wishes

    sheepwithnoname

  • cbew
    cbew

    Leander

    Take comfort that you are not alone in your situation. I recently left myself and at times it has been very fustrating and discouraging trying to show the ones you love the deception and lies of the Watchtower. I read somewhere once that comming to accept the truth about the Watchtower organization is like someone comming to the realization that their mother or father ,whom they love and respected all their life, is a murderer and liar. The mind just does not want to accept such a truth no matter how much factual information is presented as it shatters their sense of security and everything they have come to believe and accept. The best thing you can do for your wife now is not try to force the issue in a confrontational showdown. Show her love and respect her feelings and opinions but at the same time gradually share with her the truth about the Watchtower - doing so in a nonconfrontational way. Eventually she may come around and see the organization for what it really is. Another wonderful avenue open to us from our loving Creator is prayer. Do pray for her. Ask God to help free her from her mental bondage and no matter what do not give in or give up. Hope this is of help.

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