"Y"
I would like to comment on what you have said and i hope that you don't take this as me trying to dog you as it were, but merely for you to think long and hard about what you have said and what you believe=
It's an age old question; how can a god who loves us allow bad things to happen to us? I have no answer.
now think about this- here is a question that carries with it tremedous ramiifcations and yet you don't know the answer, (not only you but the rest of us as well) the bible gives no answwer,
yet if i were to ask What material were the "Drawers" that the high priest to wear made of you could tell me, so a god would provide such detail on whether the priest wore Fruit of the Loons or Tommy Heilfiger- yet something that impacts us everyday pain hurt and suffering the bible is silent-
Just looking at the great details of the OT in all thier instructions rules policies and procedures and yet the most important questions in the universe there is not even an answer-- that is so sad-
you continue by saying--
If free will is dismissed then either god is quite cruel and programs what will happen to us, or there is no god. Neither one of these are acceptable to me. One answer would change the god I beleive in so much as to make him unrecognizable, .
About 2 yrs ago i was where you are now, I -- like so many other former jw here were faced with the same options that you speak of in the post above and like you NEITHER WERE ACCEPTABLE,
THE problem is it did not change the fact that my god was suppose to be loving and folks were still getting the shaft and yes it reached the point where as you stated "make him unrecognizable"
while in wt many of us spent years trying to justify and explain the unexplainable and after awhile we reached to point were we had to accept the fact that wt shafted us, no paradise, no fig trees , no returning to day of youth-
so i fully understand the reason why so many like yourself just hate to look at the man in the mirror, it does destroy our wonderful image of a loving god, when we look at the scene behind the curtain,
but you stated:
the other option would leave me with such a sense of hopelessness as to make life unbearable
.
and that simply is NOT TRUE your comment reminds me of a jw who tells somone who is leaving THERE IS NO LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE ORG- YOUR LIFE IS MEANINGLESS
yet when you leave the org you see yes there is life outside of the org and for many people they perfer to say to themselves god will hook folks us in time i just got to wait, well if that is what one wants to believe fine-
but all i can say is i would perfer to accept the truth and not live my life trying to explain or accept things i fully know MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL- by telling myself god has so plan
just my 2