What is worse, faking your association with the international brotherhood or destroying your marriage, friendships, and ties to relatives? In my case, I feel like I'm not living a real lie. I do not go in service, do not attend all of the meetings, do not give talks, do not say prayer, or speak my opinions in front of others in the hall. I do not support the organization spiritually or monetarily in any way. I feel no different than an interested person visting the hall. Of course I am not very interested at all. I probably know more about the organization than any elder in my hall and could prove it to them if it came down to it.
To me, it is worth saving what friends and relatives I have left to stay in rather than leaving outright. The biggest lie I have to live with is my wife not knowing exactly what I know.