Interesting. Thanks for sharing. I can relate to it all. I lost over thirty years, and I, too, considered circuit work. It was discussed with me by several COs. However, by that point, I was already sick of the brown-nosing that goes on with the CO arrangement and wasn't interested. I also realized that a lot of what COs do is just busy work and is not spiritual. One CO actually told me that.
I, too, remember, those first temptations to look behind the curtain and the nervousness in doing so. It's a profound experience to begin to realize that something you once believed in so strongly and gave SO MUCH of your life (time, energy, resources, and even health) for is wrong. Those first thoughts ("Could we be wrong? Could it be possible?") dance in your head and won't settle down.
My wife and I are still processing the shock of finding out we were wrong. We were in so deep; being JWs was 101% of our lives. We're now in the phase of trying to figure things out - whether there is a creator, whether the Bible is what it claims to be (evidence not looking good so far), whether we are just products of evolution, where the stuff of the universe came from if there is no creator, etc. I still cling to some hope that there is something else. I keep an open mind.
Looking forward to hearing more from you. Any more details about you and your husband would be appreciated. For example, did you sense something was wrong before you watched the 20/20 show? If so, what?
7Starz - My wife has not officially joined this forum, but she reads a little on it. Mostly, though, I keep her filled in on the stuff she's really interested in (goings-on in JWdom). We went down the same path at the same time in leaving JWdom. Our feelings evolved at the same rate. We have been 100% in agreement. We both recognized the hypocrisy, deception, teachings that don't make sense, etc.