Thank God no one was watching.....................

by Jesika 45 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Wolfy

  My mother has a weird sense of humour...Anyways..I was 12 or 13 at the time this happened but it is still embarrassing.My mother wakes my up from a dead sleep and tells me to hurry that I am late for school. I was so out of it I didn't even notice it was still dark outside. Anyways I grab my clothes and head to the bathroom. Wash up get dressed and went to the kitchen. A friend of ours was in the kitchen(Her husband worked the same shifts as my Dad). I still didn't clue in. I mumbled good-morning and grabbed a bowl and poured my cereal. By this time they are both laughing so hard that I finally take notice. I looked at them and looked out the window, looked at the clock. Needless to say I was not impressed. It was 11:45pm.

  This was when I was pioneering. We worked alot of country territory and in the summer there are alot of yard sales. Well one fine Saturday morning we stopped and decided we would take a quick look.(Counting time for it too:)) Being a tall fellow 6"3 I had become used to ducking so as to not bang my head on things. Well..This one was a barn sale and while I was walking around inside I didn't notice the huge crossbeam. Well..I ended up smacking my head into the beam and fell on my ass. Yup..I ended up with a bruise on my head, a dirty suit and feeling very embarrassed as everyone was laughing including the cute sister who just had to be in my car group that morning...Yup...Loser

  Wolfy
• 

  LoneWolf

  I kinda hesitate to tell this one. I've been in some wierd situations in my day, but this was one of the craziest.

  For many years now I've been supplying stinging insects to pharmaceutical companies so that they can take the venom out of them to make the antiallergy shots. A fellow can make some good money if the contract is big enough and the insects plentiful. Yellowjackets go for $500.00 a lb. and hornets for $740.00. (I'm on the level here.)

  One night I was using my standard procedure of slam-dunking a live hornet's nest into a garbage bag so as to take it home and toss it in the freezer. I knew that they won't fly in the dark as they can't see, so I wasn't suited up in a bee suit. However there was a difficulty with this one. It was yellow hornets (Dolichovespula arenaria) and they have a habit of sleeping on the outside of the nest. Plus, this nest was practically touching the ground, it was so low.

  When I batted the nest into the bag, 30 or 40 of the hornets remained on the ground, and I didn't want them to go to waste. Again, according to my standard habit, I just put the flashlight on the ground and allowed them to come crawl all over the lens, then picked it up and shook it off in the sack, then put the light back for another load. A fellow can clean up a whole mess of hornets that way.

  Unfortunately a mosquito came along about that time. They navigate by heat and don't need light. This varmint flew right into my earlobe, and nothing will drive you up a wall quite as quick as that will. I let out an oath and swung at it with my gloved hand. The glove caught my glasses (I can't drive without them), spun them right off my face and out and down into the garbage bag along with the hornet's nest and hornets. Now what?

  I was totally torqued off, yet laughing myself sick at the same time. Never a dull moment.

  LoneWolf
• 

  DakotaRed

  Out of all the faux paus I've pulled over my life, one readily sticks out in my mind and I still have a hard time believing it wasn't noticed.

  I was working late one night, finishing up a customers car that I had repaired a bunch of oil leaks on. He was standing in the doorway of the shop, waiting on me to finish it. I decided it would be a nice gesture to clean all the leaked oil off the engine, so I pulled his car to the wash bay and started spraying down the engine with solvent. Since I was late and wanting to get done, I left it running, no big deal, done it a bazillion times before, right?

  After I got the engine pretty well soaked in solvent, apparently there was a leaky spark plug wire as the whole engine compartment erupted in flames. Putting it out with a water hose was out of the question as that only spreads an oil fire. Of course, there was no fire extinguisher in the wash bay, so I had to run all the way across the shop, grab one and run back over and douse the flames. I got it put out and looked towards the owner, knowing he must be frantic seeing his car burning. To my unbelievable fortune, he had his back turned the entire time, he hadn't seen a thing! He never even turned around.

  After it was put out and I cleaned all the extinguisher residue off, with the engine off, this time, I inspected it and the only damage done was it melted a plastic cover over the distributor. I stole one off another car on the used car lot and replaced it and he never knew what had happened or how much worse it could have been. For me, I put my tools away, cleaned out my pants and went on home, thanking any and every thing sacred that I had got away with that one. Oh yes, after that, I made sure the engine was always off, as I already knew it should have been.

  Lew W
• 

  onacruse

  hehe...just yesterday, I went to a local Tux shop to get fitted for my wedding. I thought it was gonna just be "take some measurements." They measured, sure, but they also asked me to take a couple things and try them on.

  I came out of the dressing room, feeling that the pants didn't "feel" right, but I've never worn a tux before, so what would I know about the fit?

  In the meantime, 2 other customers came in, and the lady asked me to wait for a minute. As I stood there, in the middle of the floor, I reflexively reached down to put my hands in my pockets. Damn pockets were sewn in backwards or sumpin...stupid tux, anyway.

  Looking in the mirror, I noticed that the zipper was running right up along my butt.

  2 short minutes later, I again emerged from the dressing room, this time with the pants on zipper forward.

  LOL @ Craig

  <-----makes note to self...watch Lew carefully if he ever does repairs to our cars!

  <-----makes another note to self...always double-check deposit slips from Katie before spending the money!

  Edited by - onacruse on 21 December 2002 2:53:21
• 

  Big Tex

  onacruse:

  Hey you were close! I love it!! Makes me feel like I'm not the only one.
• 

  DakotaRed

  LOL, Craig. It's when you're *not* watching that you need to watch

  I still can't believe he didn't turn around and see it

  Lew W
• 

  bikerchic

  Making note to self......double check Craig before we leave to go to the Chapel!

  Katie <<singing.......going to the Chapel cuz we're gunna get married
• 

  ugg

  oh god,,,this is like opening up pandoras box!!!!!!! where does one begin??? ok,,,my favorite one....

  just got off working nights....was REALLY TIRED...picked up a few groceries on the way home.. wrote out the check,,,,put the wrong MONTH for the date then only signed 1/2 of my last name - 1st 3 letters only (small town,,,small store) they knew me and asked me to correct it...made a joke about my mistakes....

  you know...hahahahaha...."think i left my brain at work" kind of thing....was totally flustered,,then i thanked them so much and was on my way out the store,,,when they called to me that i had forgotten to take my groceries!!!!!!!
• 

  BadJerry

  My turn - long time ago was working in a paper mill in Northern Minnesota. Had just graduated high school and was considered the new kid at the plant. The honor that goes with that is you have to work the overtime shifts whenever they ask or you are out. After working 5 in a row, Sunday off (they paid triple time so the old farts took that) and 3 more, I met my uncle who was just coming into work. I had been standing in the parking lot for who knows how long and my uncle asked me what I was doing... I told him I really didn't know if I was supposed to be going to work or going home! He just laughed at me and asked me to hand him my lunch. He looked inside, began to laugh even louder, then told me to go home. The lunch-box was empty. Thank God none of the other workers asked me later what the big joke was...
• 

  Xena

  ROFL...so nice to know you aren't the only one who doe this kind of stuff isn't it???

  When I was pregnant I was extremely absent minded....one day we are shopping at the mall and of couse as usual I have to go to the restroom....so I go in and am in the stall when someone else comes in...they go in the stall next to me and my eyes stray over to their shoes (hey I am a woman, I like to check out shoes)...THEY ARE HUGE...I was like "MY GOD THIS WOMAN HAS BIG FEET!!!". So they finish their business and leave..then I come out of the stall....and notice the urinals against the wall....I was in the MEN'S bathroom! I tore out of there so fast!!! Thank Goodness no one saw me...I made tyydyy check the doors after that to be sure I went into the right one...