Thank God no one was watching.....................

by Jesika 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • animal
    animal

    One of mine may only be funny to those of you that ride motorcycles.....

    We used to go out for rides as a group... 15-20 bikes doing the bar hopping thing for a day or two, covering several towns. I had a chopped Sportster, a nice hotrod of a bike. I had this lock that went into a loop behind the front fork. When locked, the bike wont turn.

    You bikers are already smiling, right? You know whats coming............

    We had this bad habit of getting drunker with each stop, but always managed to make it to the next stop without incident. The trick was to keep the group together. Well, this one stop, I finally get the bike running while the group is already pulling out... so I gas it and let the clutch fly. It was only after the clutch was out that I realized that the lock was STILL in the front fork lock. The bike did a half circle before I hit the brakes, which forced the bike to dive onto its left side with me on it.

    So, ther I am... laying on the ground with my left leg under the bike.... the bike running.... the switch is on the left side of the engine, which I cant get to to shut it off. My guys all were gone, not knowing I fell over.

    Needless to say, I managed to get out from under it altho my boot stayed there. Once out, the rest was an easy fix and I removed that damned lock and heaved it as far as I could. I never locked that bike again.

    It took a while to track down the guys, and then it took a while for them to quit laffing.

    Animal

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    Xena's men's room story reminds me of anutha one:

    I'm out with my friend at a gay bar
    (practically my first time at a bar never mind a gay bar)
    and I hafta p
    so i ask him watch my drink
    (whoops thats a strait bar protective measure, most likely not necessary here lol)
    anyway, b4 i head for the bathroom
    he kindly says,
    "you know how this works right?"
    i'm like, "whu?"he goes, "do NOT sit down, SQUAT only babeeeee,
    men pee on the seats and they can't aim!"
    i'm laffing like "got it, no worries there"and i wander over to the 2nd floor bathrooms
    of which there are
    two
    side by side
    with no signs on them
    i stand there for a couple beats
    perplexed
    cuz i can't figure out
    for the life of me
    which one i'm s'posed ta go into.
    i'm thinking, "hmmmmm, this reminds me of a certain commercial"when this singsongy voice hollars over from
    the general direction of my drink,
    "it doeeeessssn't maaaaaterrrrrr!"

    oh. yeah. right. hehe

    *smirk*

    SPAZ

    ps - somehow this still wasn't as embarrassing as the time when i wuz oh about 12 and had this crush on a bro 11 years my senior. we were both at the same congregation bowling "gettogether", when i walked into the washroom only to discover it was darker than the girlz washroom. somethings not right here, yep the wallz are blue not pink and what the hell are those things on the wall? oh, i know what that iz, so thaaat's what a boyz toilet looks like. hm. i wonder why they need a whole nuther toilet...if they can stand in front of this thing can't they stand in front of the regular toilet. must be for buildings with large crowds, cuz nobody has one at home. then it hits me, uh-oh, iz there no way out of this place but the way i came in? stupid stupid stupid. "i hope "he" didn't see, i hope "he" didn't see" my face made up for the lack of pink in that room turning various shades of blush on my way back out. lol. (the things ya never ferget, huh)

    COLD COMFORT: Some of the worst things I've done have probably been forgotten by everybody, except me. - Ashleigh Brilliant
  • Jesika
    Jesika

    These are all great!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Xena-------yes it is nice to know we are not the only ones who do things like this!!! LOL

    Thank you all for sharing, this has been alot of fun!!!!!

    Hell, don't stop now!

    Animal---I am glad you weren't hurt----so I felt free to laugh too!

    Jes

  • Been there
    Been there

    I have 3 embarrassing moments that stand out in life. Only one had no witnesses though..........

    1. I was 19 newly married, we went to Jacksonville Florida to visit my brother in law stationed there. We went to this big bar/night club like place frequented by the service men. His girlfriend met up with us there. We were waited on by this fourty something women with a short short skirt. She was way to old to be dressed the way she was, like she was trying to hold onto her youth, but lost it years ago! Peggy Bundy kinda comes to mind. Anyway I said something about it to everyone and it turned out to be his girlfriends Mom. Open mouth......Insert foot.

    2. This one is the most embarrassing, happened back in Jan. 87 or 88. I woke up one morning and noticed under my arms were green, going thru a bit of a hypocondriac stage, I freaked out. I called the doctors office and told them I was coming right in. I thought I was dieing. I drove like a maniac, honking my horn, I was going to pass out. I get to the office, at deaths door, white as a ghost (with green arms) they made a comment that I looked bad, okay that did it, I was not breathing well and ready to expire. They rushed me back to a room and the Doctor came right in. He checked me over and said that blood pools in people some times (he gave it a name) and he was going to run some tests. Starting to feel alittle better since I was were my life could be saved if I should take a turn for the worse. The nurse came in to take some blood for testing. She looked at my arms and walked over to the sink, she got a paper towel and wetted it with some soap, came over and rubbed my arm, the towel turned green. She started laughing! and said "have you worn any new clothes lately?" My mother in law (next marriage) had given me this neat "GREEN" shirt for X mas, I wore it the day before and the dye had rubbed off on my arms. I heard about that for along time at the doctors office, I made their day. I really was DYEING. I am happy to say that incident cured me of my hypocondria. It makes you wonder about Doctors though, he was going to run tests, the lowly nurse said take a shower.

    3. The first time I took my new granddaughter for the day she was about 2 weeks old (she's almost 5 now) I met my daughter somewhere and she gave me the baby and her car seat. It took me about 5 minutes to get her lovingly all strapped in the car seat. I drove off and turned the corner. I hear this big THUD. I look back and see the baby upside down in the space between the back seat and the front seat. The baby was nice and safe in the car seat but I had forgotten to buckle the car seat in. Boy did I feel DUMB. No witnesses to this one. I didn't tell my daughter about it until a couple weeks ago. She laughed so hard.

    Okay I'm done embarrasing myself (hands mirophone over to someone else).

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    been there....i can't stop laffing at #3. rofl.

  • Jesika
    Jesika

    LOL@ Been There

    Those where great!!!!!!!

    Green armpits??? I woulda freaked out too!!

    *Wondering what the girl said when you insulted her mom*

    edited to add........

    I am glad the baby wasn't hurt.

    Edited by - jesika on 23 December 2002 0:28:50

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