It's 2 AM...and Im soooo sad (page 3)

bigred

This is Mulan.............hit my posting limit, it seems. So am hijacking my hubby's identity. (((((((((Dawn)))))))))) You are quite a writer, girl! I love your analogy of being on two sides of a glass, and never able to touch. Very poignant.
I feel for you, and understand how hard this must be for you. We are kind of in an opposite situation. My elderly JW mother lives with us, and sees Christmas all around her, at our house. Christmas parties with the entire family invited, but she can't go. I know she loves the decorations and all the goodies, and the presents too. She is probably wondering if there is something for her. There isn't. But I feel for her. It must be hard.
We will be thinking of you. If we lived down there, we could all get together for Christmas. The more the merrier. But, we are exactly opposite of you, in the NW.

Sentinel

Oh, I feel so badly for you. I don't think it's entirely a pity party. You have some real issues, that aren't just going to go away.

THAT religion will continue to chip away at your marriage until it will be more than a holiday that separates you. The thing that would save your relationship is if he would be willing to bite the bullet and face up to his own issues. He might lose some of his family, but he would salvage his relationship with you and his own children. I think you realize this, and that is why you are so sad. He has not "chosen you".

It is terribly heartbreaking to think that "religion" of any kind could rip a marriage apart and destroy all the good and all the love between two people. The things you once had in common, that you built your relationship and marriage and family upon, is no longer there. Something has changed it.

Maybe it's time to really give your mate something to think about. You should be most important, even ahead of his relationship with his family....and especially because you have children together. He's not being true to himself to live a lie, and maybe he just needs you to force the issue. What you are doing right now, is slowing killing your relationship with these types of "things". You feel abandoned, and rightly so. And, he has abandoned you, for all the wrong reasons! If you continue to accept this behavior, you are effectively being "regliously abused".

Obviously, it's now past 2AM, with many more lonely nights ahead--and you know exactly what I mean..........

NewLight2

((((((((((((LovesDubs))))))))))))

If hubby is talking to an elder, maybe he is sharing his 'doubts' with him. If he has access to a computer and the net while he is away, maybe, just maybe, he'll use this time to look up info on the net while he is sure that no one will be able to catch him doing it. UM, he can even go to any Library in town and access the net for free! So don't give up hope.

No, he probably will not share this with you now, but in the future he may. If he is just starting to have doubts, he would feel much too insecure right now to voice them to anyone he feels might destroy his faith more by pushing the issue too hard. He may feel that by reaching out to an elder, he is doing the only 'right' thing. After all, he still thinks that it is 'the truth'. He is unaware of all the lies and crap about the WT that we know. Even if you have shared some of this info with him, he doesn't really believe it is true. He's still thinking with the JW mindset. He reads everything with his WT glasses firmly in place.

Hope this helps some.

NewLight2

imanaliento

(((((((((((((((((((((((LOVESDUBS))))))))))))))))))))))))

Edited by - imanaliento on 22 December 2002 12:31:26

BluesBrother

I am so sorry for all of you that suffer from divided families at christmas. It must be terrible , We will get together with my wifes family, some in ,some out but none d/fd so we mix. - not Christmassy though. The C word is banned.

I really feel for you now that it has been so eloquently put down .

I also wonder how husband feels, thousands of miles from home with just a Shitzy dog to watch T V with . Christmas is a long day with no one around and no where to go. Perhaps next year he will see sense .

Mulans mother too. I bet she would love to mix with the grandchildren, although her faith does not permit it on that day. We know that Mulan is very good to her .

Just a few random thoughts, bestwishes to anyone that misses loved one at this time.

NewLight2

Mulan: Would your mother permit some of the grandkids, etc coming to see her in her own place while the big party was going on elsewhere in the house? She could call it "family day". No presents, but maybe a veggie tray and some games.

NewLight2

Solace

Love,

Im SO sorry. To have you feel so much pain and for what, ya know?

The society knows what they are doing by seperating families during these times. They know that it isnt the actual holiday that would influence the JW, but the nonbelieving mate or family member who they love. Who do you trust more than anyone but your spouse or loved one? If the society can manage to seperate the two of you during a close family holiday such as Christmas, they are getting exactly what they want.

The WTS knows full well that when they seperate loved ones during times such as holidays, church weddings, church funerals etc. the one being avoided will probably feel hurt or betrayed. This is when friends and family need eachother the most. They want the nonbeliever to feel hurt and abandoned. The society hopes that you will be so hurt that you will be temped to become a JW again even if it is only to be with your loved one. If you choose not to, they hope that you begin to resent your loved one and begin distancing yourself from him so as not to continue influencing him in any way.

I cant even tell you that I know exactly what you are feeling right now. I married out of the faith so my husband encourages me to enjoy the holidays. Many of my JW family wont step foot in my house when the decorations are up but thats their choice. The more of these situations I hear of, the more I realize just how vindictive and manipulative the society really is.

Im so sorry you and your family are going through this right now. I hope you and your husbands love for eachother will overcome these times.

Scarlet

((((((((((((((((Lovedubs)))))))))))))))) I am so sorry.

kelpie

((((((((((((((((((love)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I wish there was something I could do to help you....

love Kelpie

Country Girl

:::LovesDubs::: many hugs to you! I read your post and was in tears because it just brings back memories of many Christmasses missed.. and still many to be missed with remaining family members in the Dubs. The pain of Christmas, as it were. I do try to remember the good of Christmas, but it has a darker side for me because of the shame and humiliation it caused me at school as a child. Anyway, please know that I am thinking about you, and hope, despite the pain of your husband being gone and not having other family close by, and the stress of preparing the meal... you still remember the good times you'll share with your children this Christmas, and how much joy in those memories ya'll will treasure for years to come! Those can never be taken away from you or them! I do want to respond to one particular sentence you posted:

"Have I told you lately how much I adore and love all of you? EXJWs certainly know how to love and be true friends...isnt it ironic that we came out of that cold environment with that knowledge? "

Yes, you told us... just by coming here and trusting us enough to tell us such personal things. You know why we know how to love and be true friends? Cuz our icy facades finally melted and let the shining blessing of humanity come out.

Anyway, much love to you, and true hope that this same time next year will find this heartbreaking situation resolved. God bless you, LD.

Country Girl

It's 2 AM...and Im soooo sad

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