The elders came over this morning as promised. He called before to explain why so as not to show up under false pretenses. He said yesterday when he called, he was with a service group so he said he was an "old friend" and wanted to come visit. Today he said he does consider Steve to be a friend but they were coming over as part of a new policy to visit inactive ones and because it had been reported to them that we had Christmas decorations.
They were very kind. They knew they had screwed up by ignoring us all these years with no phone calls or visits of any kind. I pointed that out right away. Joe was the first person to call us in six years. I grew up in that hall and attended for 27 years. Steve told them he wasn't offended by that but that I was. It was the only hall I ever attended and I was hurt that no one made an attempt to contact us when something was clearly wrong. He also said that it would not have made any difference and I confirmed that. They were uncomfortable and extremely apologetic.
I then asked why we are shunned. I told them that at my grandfather's memorial we were shunned by every elder in attendance. They were both there and knew it. They had both shunned us and were now having to account for it. They said what someone decides to do personally is their decision. HUH? If an individual makes a decision not to associate with another individual it is their personal business. They can't answer for the individuals. Then they said the elder body needs to be united in their decisions. They were very hypocritical at this point but I didn't see any reason to point this out. It was basically over anyway.
They told us they would have to inform the congregation that we were no longer JWs. I told them to do what they had to but we did have a request. We are leaving on vacation for two weeks on Wednesday the 25th. My JW grandmother who attends that hall via phone link will be all alone. I asked if they could wait until we get back so I could warn her and she wouldn't have to deal with it alone. I told them she knows we don't consider ourselves witnesses but it might still be upsetting to her. Then Steve said he just wanted them to wait because he would really like to attend the meeting and hear the announcement. They were respectful of our wishes and promised to wait until the 9th. They wrote it down. They would really only be postponing a week as they have a circuit asssembly next week. They also promised to make arrangements to have people call and visit my grandma while we are gone. I told them its hard for her living with my parents because she is isolated and doesn't get the visitors that she should.
My husband is an amazing man. After all that, he told Joe that when he started attending as a child that his family was the first to show real kindness to his family. He elaborated on that a bit and paid him a very lovely compliment and I think Joe was genuinely touched by it. When they left, Steve gave them each a hug and told them it had been a pleasure knowing them. It was a nice goodbye.
We both feel really good about it. We never compromised our consciences and have lived a very honest life since leaving the witnesses. We are proud of our life and ourselves.
Rachel