How Do You Measure Your Self Worth? (page 2)

SheilaM

I am horrible at measuring self worth on It's a Wonderful Life it says you are wealthy if you have friends. Well, that makes me penniless. I have my kids, hubby and granddaughter but my side of the family acts like I don't exist.I just started college I can't look at my work as Wow! I got a B or I missed only 2 I beat myself up over it not being an A or why did I miss 2. I don't know if I will ever heal,

larc

For those who are interested there is a very good thread on this subject called, "ten nutty beliefs", started by tina. I posted some of my thoughts there. I think all of you would find this thread to be most helpful. I also started one called, "self esteem". Most people liked it and had postitive comments to add. A few people did not like what I said. They thought I was too harsh and took me to task for it. The basic ideas was the same as the first thread I mentioned, but on hindsight, will say that I did come on a bit too strong on my thread. If any of you reseurrect these two threads, I would be most interested in your thoughts on them. -:) - I do have some further thoughts as they relate to this thread, but I will hold off on those for now, as I am running out of words here -- hee, hee!

Satanus

I have it down (almost) to because i exist. I don't have to do anything, be anything, feel anything for my self worth. Though i do feel envy at times.

SS

czarofmischief

I measure my self-worth by how well I treat people, including myself. That's the part that I had to learn from anywhere but the dubs. I create a lot of poetry, drama, and fiction, and therefore I can find fulfillment in that. I read, and learn, and there is a measure of self-worth in how much knowledge I am able to learn and pass on to others. I love to study history, partly because it helps me keep my miniscule problems in perspective, and partly because it helps me see how far mankind has come, especially in the past five hundred years or so.

If I can help in some small way to make the world a better, safer, more decent place for people to live in, then I feel like I've done something valuable and that I mean something. I try to help other dubs that have escaped for whatever reason - walking them through the various stages and helping THEM develop stable personalities.

Every so often, I get down on myself, and I realize just how insidious the influence of the cult was, how utterly soul-destroying. EVERYTHING was placed into a skewed perspective. Do I brush my teeth today? Not because I like my teeth, but because I might stumble a brother if I didn't. Do I pursue college? Not if I'm setting spiritual goals like volunteer work at Bethel. My self-worth was placed at an unattainable level, a carrot forever dangling inches from my nose no matter how fast I ran. I couldn't please anybody, and constantly the call was "Do more! Give more! Be better! More effective!"

Now I gradually build a life, a real, meaningful life of today and tomorrow.\

You know, if a company had treated me like the cult did, I would have quit myu job. But I kept seeking to be accepted by those nutters.

Screw em. LIve for today! Tomorrow is a nightmare!

CZAR

OrbitingTheSun

I measure my self worth with a little transparent ruler that says "Figmentum" in black letters. Yes, it is a Metric ruler. I like it, but Saint Satan's method seems interesting. I would like to think that I am worthwhile merely because I exist...or maybe do away with the need for "self worth" altogether.

Edited To Add:
Right on, Czar! I agree with you, I really do I wanted to say something thoughtful like that, but it's midnight (after Christmas) and I am sleepy.

Edited by - OrbitingTheSun on 26 December 2002 0:26:27

larc

Like Oribiting The Sun, I agree with Saint Satan. I think that self worth is something you decide to have. Well, we all have a tendency to measure our worth by our "works" and how they compare to those works of others, but this is not a good idea. We can always find someone smarter, more talented, or productive that ourselves. To compare ourselves to them will only make us depressed. I think we should like ourselves, whether we are smashing successes or dismal failures, in other words, no matter what. I actuality, we all have successes and failures. That's life. I just think we should like ourselves no matter what happens. To do otherwise causes us to create our own manic-deprssion, in my opinion.

minimus

Those with little self-worth are easy to manipulate.They usually NEED to feel accepted. When put into the right (or wrong) circumstances, the results can be disasterous. I think it's natural to compare ourselves to others. If we a healthy dose of inner strength, this can be a good thing. If we feel we need to make goals, sometimes, there's nothing more motivating than a good sense of competition to bring out the best in us.

Skeptic

So is this what a minimus question is....one that minimus asks, but never answers?

How do you feel about yourself?

Some people have external locus which means their self-worth is determined by what others think of them. I have internal locus, which means my self-worth comes from within me.

I feel that I am basically a good person, though far from perfect.

Do you struggle with what kind of person that you are?

Sometimes.

Do you feel happy, empty, or are are you apathetic?

Sometimes, yes to all of the above.

Since leaving the organization,do you feel better about yourself or are you just beginning to find out about who you are?

I am now free to be true to myself. And free to do and be whatever I think is sensible.

Richard

czarofmischief

I think we need a certain amount of self-appreciation no matter what our situation, that's true. But our actions can help us have apositive attitude - forinstance, my father might have cancer, but at least I am the kind of person that will help him through it, right?

Hm.

CZAR

larc

Minimus, I agree with you that we do compare ourselves to others. In doing so, I think we should proceed with caution. Others do help us get a fix on what is possible, and that is useful information. I do think that the ultmate goal regardintg goal setting is knowing our own strengths and weaknesses and setting our goals accordingly. I know the days when I goofed off and did not accomplish anything of significance. I also know the days when I really did well, not by someone else's standards and abilities but based on my own. There are things I can do, that almost no one else can do. There are also things I can't do that some others can do with ease. So, ultimately it comes down to ourselves, not some outside gauge. That is how I see it.

How Do You Measure Your Self Worth?

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