by lv4fer 42 Replies latest jw friends
MS, Aux Pioneer, Temp Bethelite (two weeks), Assistant to the Service Overseer
You might notice the pattern of not committing 100% in anything... MS instead of Elder, Aux Pioneer instead of Pioneer, Temp Bethelite instead of Permanent Bethelite.
The whole time I was in the bOrg I had doubts, I just pushed them down and out of my thoughts... but they were always there... bugging me and preventing me from completely accepting the organization.
Regular pioneer for 5 years...I really felt like I was helping people. Now I regret convincing people of what I now know is false.
Stan,
I can totally relate. I never Pioneered, though my wife was a RP for a while. I just could not stand the whole arrangement and it's focus on hours hours hours. Oh, and the 'Pioneer School'... don't even get me started! I did auxillary for one month and I just thought it was ridiculous. I actually went against my principles to auxillary pioneer that month because of peer pressure, but I didn't give in the following April.
I, too, always had nagging doubts about certain things - even as a child. Those trumpet blasts really got me as well. One of my main pet peeves before learning some of the more outrageous stuff was turning in time. It just seemed so... I dunno... unchristian.
The Internet was probably the main factor in getting me out... did a search on 'Jehovah' one day and found an eye-full! Didn't dare read any of the 'apostate lies' at first, but then as my dissatisfaction with the Borg grew, I allowed myself to read more and more.
Oh yeah, and one more thing... My visit to Bethel was an eye opener for me. I was just disgusted with the way the place was run. I mean, using prayer as a lunch bell? Instead of 'encouraging' me, the tour made me even more sure that that religion was not the 'truth'.
Dia,
Thanks! I just sat down at the computer one day and felt I had to type out all of my questions that I've ever had. Putting it in writing really made me realize that there was a lot there I had to research - more than I had initially thought. What is posted on the Internet was my first draft, which I posted to the old H2O board. Since then there were several revisions, one which finally made it to my parents and ultimately to the elders. Funny thing is that when the elders saw it, some thought I had just copied it off of the Internet. lol That was an exciting time... being a double agent for a while was fun. I'm sure most who leave the Borg have some stories to tell.
rem
Edited by - rem on 30 December 2002 14:4:49
I was a regular pioneer for about 6yrs and MS for 2yrs, removed when I got in trouble and Df'd a year later for doing it again That was in 99, up until this year and after the dateline report, I thought it was the truth and was making every effort to go back, But the internet really taught me the troof about the "truth" Now they can go fly a kite.
I was regular pioneer and a Ministerial Servant.
One day while out with my pioneer partners (there were four or five of us), I asked them what they would do if they realized that this was not the truth. They pretty much brainlocked and indicated that they woould keep doing it anyway. (Duhhh!)
When I was asked to be a Ministerial Servant I really got suspicious. It really was a case of not wanting to be associated with any club that would have me as a member.
Then I found out about the pederast in my own congragation and I got so sick of that crap.
Stanley F. Weigel is a weiner.
Edited by - Nathan Natas on 30 December 2002 15:39:45
I was a Regular AUX. PIO, a Regular Pioneer, a Ministerial Servant and an assistant book study conductor. I believed for most of my life that is was the "truth". I always had questions in the back of my mind but believed all things would be revealed in the New Order. Well..More and more questions came up and I realized I was not satisfied with waiting for the answers. I went looking and now know that it is not the "truth".
Your eyes are opened when you experience the supposed "love" from some of your fellow servants. People always trying to either make you look bad and gossiping behind your back you realize that there is something wrong with the whole deal. The few sincere ones that do try to be a friend and actually care are drowned out by the power tripping, brainless dubs in charge.You come to understand that something is rotten and it starts at the top with the senile fools.. the GB.
Wolfy
Just a bit bitter today:)
I was a Regular Pioneer and went to Pioneer School in 1987. I was always open minded about all their beliefs and found that I felt guilty because of this. I felt I wasn't doing the preaching work whole heartedly, but only doing it because I felt I should....that it was the good thing to do to get closer to Jovah. I was trying to associate with the "in" crowd.
I was an elders daughter, raised in the org., and basically my brothers and I were considered the good kids in the kingdom hall....hell, I never even got called into a meeting in the "back room" with any of the elders. So, I also felt the pressure of not letting my JW parents down. I truely understand the guilt and the pressure associated with remaining an active witness!
I fianally decided to take my life into my own hands when I divorced my abusive JW husband in 1998 and left the organization. I did it the "slow fade" way during and after the divorce. I was tired of not being allowed to be me and tired of having my own needs ignored. I am now much happier, guilt free, and feel I am a worthy person........and it's not based on how many doors I can knock on, but by the spirit that drives me and the true lady that I am.
Bernadine
I pioneered once for a month and that was once too many for me...lol.I do have to say,I admire all of you who did it for yrs.
Blondie,there is no such thing as a female elder.Why would you claim to be an elderess?..>>>Minimus,as you can see I have just told Blondie,there are no female elders.Yet you claim they were called elderettes in your congragation as though you were used to having female elders in your congragation..Any real dub knows both of you don`t know the inner workings of the WBTS hierarchy..Why the fraud?...OUTLAW
I can answer your questions, Outlaw. In every congregation you can find women who have been in the organization forever and know more than the male elders, have a better grasp of the "deeper things of God," as they are called, and can (and will) whup the ass of the arrogant young elders who think they're hot stuff. While they do not have a formal title of "eldress" or "elderette" they are deferred to on a number of things and most young people are scared to death of them (no offense, blondie). I know - my mother was one of them. Even the CO's didn't cross her, though sometimes they'd mutter under their breath that she wasn't in subjection. Not where she could hear them, though!
Nina
