Keep or dump

Mercedes

I need some advice. Please!!! I have been dating this guy for 3 years. Of those 3 years, he has cheated on me many many times, but I can only prove some. He has cheated on me with the mother of his child, and even young girls that his friends dated that used to come over and hang out with us. He even was hitting me at that time. He even gave me black eyes. It wasn't pretty. Well, things have been going good for the past 6 months, but I still dwell over what he did to me, and I am having a hard time getting over it. A really really hard time. I would dump him, but he has come such a long ways from what he used to be. He is really sweet and sensitive now. But the thing is, how long will this actually last? Every time he hangs out with his new friends and their girlfriends, I feel threatened. Not because I am ugly or anything, but because he has done it sooo much. And he has always cheated on me with people of way lower standards than me. Why do guys do that? The least they can do is find someone better looking to cheat on me with. What should I do? I really love him and want it to last with him, but am I fooling myself? Are there ways to get past the past? Help!!!

Gig

Yes, you are fooling yourself. Any man that cheats on you doesn't deserve a second chance. The fact that he did it numerous times means he is no good for you...no good TO you. It's only a matter of time and he will hurt you again, until then you're not going to be truly happy out of fear for that day.

Now, he HIT you on top of all that! Any man that physically harms a woman INTENTIONALLY deserves to be beaten down himself. I have no tolerance for that, nor does the LAW, nor should YOU.

Don't be stupid, get away from that boy pretending to be a man. If he truly has changed or truly can change he's already burned his bridges with you. ENOUGH is ENOUGH! Don't let your emotions keep you in such a bad situation. Do you really want to live your life in dread? Tell the truth...NO!

Been there

Look at what you just wrote! If you had a best friend and you saw her boyfriend treat her the way he did and they asked you this question after them telling you that their boyfriend constantly cheated, hit them, gave them black eyes, but has been better for a while....... would you tell them that noone deserves that treatment? and that her boyfriend could never be totally trusted and she deserves better then that? Think about it................you are your best friend.

RevMalk

Dump him, they never change, and get some therapy as well.

caligirl

Mercedes -

I would say that your life would be much better without this man. He has cheated before, he will cheat again. Is the fact that the last 6 month may have been good compared to the previous 2 1/2 years worth the future risk of contracting an STD because of his careless and thoughtless behavior? Or worrying what you might do or say that he will react with physical violence towards? He has hit you before, odds are he will do it again. You deserve much better than this man who beats, cheats and causes you emotional trauma. There are good me out there- real men. Don't waste your life on someone who obviously does not value you or give you the consideration and respect you deserve. By staying with this man, you are making a conscious decision to let him continue to abuse you, lower your self esteem, and risking your health both physically and emotionally. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find a happy future.

Cali

Aztec

Wow!!! I'm surprised you've stayed this long! Leave! Please! Also, I would recommend you get some help so you can heal from an obviously abusive relationship. Good luck!

~Aztec

RubyTuesday

Why do guys do that?

Not all guys are like that....stop waisting your time with him...you deserve much, much, better. Move on...there is a really nice guy out there just waiting for you.

Ruby... of the been there done that class.

musky

Mercedes, Yes, you are fooling yourself. No doubt about it. No questions about it. If you want to continue on with being cheated on and being hit, Then just leave things as they are. If a guy cheats once, its that much easier again. He will not change. You cannot change who people are. Do you cheat on him? Do you hit him? If you do, then you deserve eachother. If not, then you deserve better. If he really loved you then he wouldn't be doing that. There is pain in breaking off with someone you really love. But that pain will go away when you meet someone new. I had a girlfriend that I thought I really loved once. She took advantage of me BIG time! Stole from me, played with my feelings and did not care about me at all. And all this time I continued to really care for her. It hurts bad, I know.

I hope things go great for you, whatever you decide.

avishai

Not only should you dump him, he needs his @$$ kicked for what he did to you, abusive men don't change without serious help. If at all

Gopher

Look at what you're saying... Do you really think TRUST, once it's shattered, can be pieced back together? Fantasy says yes, but reality says no. If you try to live a fantasy, you'll get bitten again.

He hit you? My god, what an awful basis for happiness.

"He's come such a long way"? Wishful thinking.

Life is too short to waste on dead ends.

You deserve much better, and if you open your eyes you will find it.

Keep or dump

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