Hi, Mercredes. I was once married to an abuser. Read what SheilaM said. I was once a shell, too. And he was so very repentant afterwards. Those sad eyes... I still left. Guess why.
I want a honest boyfriend so bad whom I don't have to worry about while finishing college, one I can have children with, and one I can grow old with and be worry free.
Such a dream is possible. Well, at least mostly. No woman should ever have to worry that a misspoken word, wrong look, or lousy cooking will lead to a black eye. You should be worrying about normal young couple things, like bills.
I have never loved anyone like I have my boyfriend and that scares me. I don't know if I could love anyone as much as I love him.
You are too young to have exhausted all the potential loves you will have in your life. And the love you will have for your future children will be something unique and beautiful as well. Each love is unique and special. You can hold you head high that you have loved this man fully and well and too much. Even though you love this much, you can still leave him. Other people have done it and survived. Quite nicely.
Everytime I tried to leave him, I would just look at his sad face and then I couldn't do it.
You can learn to do it. Why don't you practice a bit? Walk in to a local SPCA, gaze deeply in to the sad eyes of some of those puppies and kittens, and leave without adopting any of them. Have a good cry. Then leave him, have a good cry, and take the phone off the hook for a week or two.
Is there even a possibility that he CAN change? At all?Sure there is a possibility. There is a stronger possibility that you will be a shell of your former self before he gets there.