by Nickey 28 Replies latest watchtower medical
Get some singing lessons - even if you want to sing pop/rock stuff - they'll teach you how to use your diaphragm and voicebox properly so you don't end up knackering your voice. Lessons are also good (imho, anyway) at keeping the momentum up - helping you feel like you're making some progress week by week. And, take Robdar's advice.
ig.
Nickey- I am so sorry your feeling depressed about being brought up as a JW. But I think some of the things it taught us- was ! being able to met the public- gave confidence to "be differant"( I know many think that is the worse thing)but it took strength to stand out as NOT doing what others HAD to do- like salute the flag - birthdays etc: O.K. Now we KNOW it was silly- but never the less we had the courage to act on it. Now darling put that courage into action again -your so young- My kids were also brought up as JWS( except my son who rebelled against it) But THEY are now DEAD!!!! & my daughters & grand-daughters are still in it. One died at 42-one at 46- your alive!!thank God
Your alive -young- lovely voice- & have dreams-Go for it girl- in Canada we have "star night 'in some of the clubs- where amatures get up & do their stuff-Check all these options out. Look for chances to use your talent. I still believe "he that puts his hand to the plow & looks back is lost" You cannot make straight paths if you looking back all the time-Forget the "rooton" stuff we learned -use the good stuff we did- & Sing!!! to your hearts content. Blessings on the way
Nickey.....its easy to get depressed when you have such a `crazy` upbringing as we all had..but as has been said before at least you have your age on your side....my goal in life from the age of about 20 was to go to Uni and get a degree ...any hey I`ve finally accomplished that now......even though it takes a lot of get up and go if you really want to do it you will....
One died at 42-one at 46- your alive!!thank God
Thats very hard mouthy, burying your babies...........
See Nickey - that means do what you want in life NOW!!!
Mouthy,
My heart goes out to you to have lost 2 children.
I lost my daughter when she was 5. There is not a day goes by when I don't cry bitterly for her and long to hold her.
My thoughts are with you - you are obviously a fine, strong woman. I wish I was as strong.
xxR
Nickey,
Just wanted to offer a (((hug)))) of understanding and a little support. I can totally relate to your post as I was raised very much the same. I spent probably years of total time isolated in my room alone because I wasnt allowed any friends. The only people I saw outside of school was at the meetings and I never really felt any connection with those people. I understand how you are feeling because being raised in that kind of family really does affect you differently than other jw's who were surrounded by jw friends or by family.
You have every right to grieve for your lost life so dont let anyone tell you to 'get over it' or to 'move on' or things like that. If you want to feel bad for a time then feel bad. If you need to cry then cry. And you have the right to blame those who are at fault. You have the right to hate or scream or whatever else way you need to express your pain. Just dont let it eat you up and over take you for too long ok?
I've been out of the org mentally for about a year now and I have found that I went through a period just like you are where I just wanted to cry and cry and cry over everything that I lost...and I did cry. And I was nearly 29 at the time so it felt like way too much to over come. One thing I found is that while a few here are of the 'get over it and stop feeling sorry for yourself' class, you will find many here understand your feelings and your need to feel them.
You are still young and you will eventually, in your own time, figure out (and very soon I'm sure) that you havent lost everything. You are getting a later start at life than most but at 22 you are by no means too old to chase a dream that could still be a reality. Myself, I always wanted to be an athelete so that dream is all but gone but I still plan to do 'something' with that..maybe I will get in shape and run the Boston marathon or something . And you can still sing. If you do it well then go for it. Just figure out what needs to be done....lessons, talent searches, ect and then start making it happen.
One thing you have to remember is that, Yes they stole your childhood and the first part of your life, but until you start living all this time is still theirs. Every day you spend miserable over your lost past is another day they have stolen. They dont steal our lives once we leave the org but we sometimes GIVE it to them by not living life to the fullest of our ability out here.
They stole your past, please dont give them your future too.
flower
Now that I'm 22, I feel that it's too late for me to go after that and I have to settle for less once again. No college education.
Nickey, when I first started reading what you wrote, I was forming an impression that you were somewhere between 60 - 80 years of age, and were reminscing on missing out on life.
But you're only 22, what is the matter with you sweety? Oh that I could be 22 again.
Please Nickey persue your goals, at least try, try for the dream, you will succeed if you really want to, when you do succeed you will have the feeling like NO other you have ever experienced, it totally consumes you like nothing can defeat you, you will feel like running and jumping and singing, the joy you will experience will be greater than any you will have ever experienced to now, because you will have achieved something you want so badly. And even if you didn't achieve every dream you ever dared to dream, you will look back towards the end of your life and say at least I tried, at least I gave it my best, despite the knockers, despite my upbringing, and I showed them! Don't let anyone defeat you before you try Nickey.
If you do You'll regret it today, you'll regret it tomorrow, and you'll regret you didn't try for the rest of your life. Please Nickey do it for some of us who now can't, but more importantly do it for YOU!
Come ON we know you can do it!
(((((hugs to mouthy and rebel)))))
Nickey:
Sorry you are so depressed. But, time is on your side. Try to remember that.....Today is the first day of the rest of your life.....you are so young, grieve for the past but don't let it stop you from having a future.
Go for it girl!
Mrs. Shakita(of the also wish she could sing but that doesn't stop her...class)
Edited by - shakita on 11 January 2003 8:42:24
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( nickey )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hugs!
Your still young enough..... Life is what you make it.....
Go For It!!
Nickey,
YOU ARE ONLY 22, go for it go to school, sing whatever you want to do. My children were raised in it also my son is joining the Marinesand my daughter is going to be a teacher but right now is raising her daughter and having a blast she is 20 and thinks she'll take eight years or so for her degree since she doesn't want to lose any time with Makayla (her lil girl). Honey, I'm 38 I have started to draw again (some are on my web page) I paint, I crochet, I write, I read and I AM BACK IN SCHOOL finally after all this time and going for my degree!!!! Most of these things I taught myself so you can do what you want to do the only limits are you.
SO GO FOR IT AND NEVER LOOK BACK
