Ok Gizmo... Thanks... Now you got ME singing!!!
lol
I'm so very depressed...
by Nickey 28 Replies latest watchtower medical
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termite 35
Hello Nickey, hope you're feeling a little better after reading all your great replies.I went to school with a jw girl who came from a family alot like yours...I was so aware, even at a young age that she was'nt happy- and noone could REALLY befriend her properly- it left us all feeling a little useless so you can understand how happy I was recently to meet her again.She's 'out' and successfull and very happy, after being such a lonely little girl and you will be too.
22 is SO YOUNG!
i'm 37 now and held back from following my life-long dream of studying Art as I was told i'd be wasting what little time this system had left... I was clinically depressed for nearly the whole time I was associating with the witnesses- I lacked any self confidence and had very low self worth issues to cope with but now I feelso enthusiastic about EVERYTHING and i'm enjoying my life to the full .I hav'nt had depression since I left- (i'm working on the self worth etc) strange is'nt it ?! Now i'm back at college having a wonderful time, ok; i'll be a little older than many others when I graduate, so what? us older ones get a much better deal in college anyway-it's very relaxed, many of the tutors have become friends and we have a ball.
Please don't give up on your dream- let me know how you get on with the singing- that's something I love to do- but noone loves to listen to me !!!
termite xxx
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SPAZnik
Nickey,
IMAGINE FOR A SECOND (and a second only) where you will be in five or ten years, if you don't pursue your dream? Probably not too different a picture than right now eh? Somewhat bleak, only then you will be 27 or 32 and still frustrated with same regrets. :(
Okay STOP imagining that! ;)
NOW....SIT BACK AND IMAGINE where you will be in five years, even if you start small, but start now, even just as a hobby on the side, taking some singing lessons or look into attending college? You will be 27 and will have spent the past five years SINGING
Imagine that! You will have given yourself a fighting shot at going after your dream in spite of your particular set of challenges. (We all got our own set of shitty challenges. It's what we do with them that makes us happy and successful!)
(Good for you by the way, for getting your GED in spite of those challenges too. My whole congregation was against me graduating high school, plus my home life sucked at times, but i graduated grade 12 anyway, AS HAVE YOU! I also didn't pursue a post-secondary education earlier, but i'm doing that now).Now imagine Mrs. Shakita fearlessly butchering your favorite song,
and you know you too can be just that brave,
cuz you KNOW unlike her , you were born to sing!!!!!
Go visit a couple of Arts Colleges or Music Schools near you, just for some information gathering? Set up an appointment with a career counsellor there, they probably know a lot about what practical steps you can take to attain your dream? Or turn on the tunes and look in the phone book under "Musical Instruction" and phone around to a few places that do the singing lesson thing and ask about their rates for lessons, ask about their experience (you want someone good and you have a right to know if they are qualified) also ask everyone you encounter about any advice they may have to give someone who really loves to sing and is thinking of pursuing that dream, they will probably be happy to give you some advice, people like to show how smart they are in their field or profession!
"There is no elevator to the top, you've got to take the stairs."
Read on-line biography's of singers you like. Look at some of the steps they took to realize their dreams. :)
Think of places to look for a mentor, choirs?, local college students or instructors?, music stores?, someone else that does singing who can give you advice about how to follow this career path, and take that person out for coffee or lunch or ask to come visit them at their next performance!! LISTEN to their life story and ask for advice on how to get started, then HEED their advice! ;)It's awesome that you KNOW what you'd like to do! (Some of us haven't even got that much figured out yet!)
SPAZ
ps - got any particular kind of singing in mind? I'd wager that singing lessons would help you figure that out.
Hell, why stop at singing? Why not go be a triple-threat? (sing, dance and act).
"Shoot for the moon baby, at the very least, you'll fall among the stars!" ;) -
SixofNine
This so reminds me of the time when I was a dancer, and wanted so badly to be a welder. If I hadn't taken small, positive, action steps in that direction, I'd still be on stage now, getting to show a little cleavage here and there, with certain dance moves, but nothing like being a man of steel welder. Let's just say most folks don't "get" how much certain body parts need fresh air.
How did I do it, you ask? At first, I'd just hang out on a construction site on the way home from an audition, watching, soaking up technique. After a while, one of the welders asked if I'd like to take a shot at "burning a stick", as he put it. The crew all said it was the best they'd ever seen a beginner do, nice fat even puddles; years of doing the robot dance finally paid off in a big way, though when my leg warmers caught fire, I looked a bit more like a River Dance performer than a welder wannabe.
Now the only dancing I do is the occasional Village People number with the lads on the job, and that is strictly for fun. (and believe me, it is ). Fall amongst the stars indeed!
Go for it!
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Nickey
Thanks to everyone's encouraging words. I don't feel as depressed now.
I've only been "mentally" out of the org for about 8 months or so and have been going through the emotions. I've looked at my life and realized that I should've accomplished so much. I'm still learning how to interact with people because I never had the chance too. It's given me an extreme case of shyness. I wasn't shy as a child. It was the affect of being isolated for so long. I have to re-learn how to be social now. I still have a hard time talking to people and giving eye contact. The thing I have to overcome is my new fear of singing in front of people. I tried karaokee and froze in fear. I knew I could sing, but it just wouldn't come out.
My mother was going through an "Armageddon" phase and moved to an isolated area so when it started... nobody could get us so easily. I spent the remainder of my time in fear of that. Reading the Revelation book and looking at all the scary pictures. That really does something to a child's mind. I couldn't relate to the people at the KH. I tried to get to know some of the people my age, but it was tense. They viewed me as worldly because I'd rather go to the mall and hang out instead of sitting in on a bible study. I was a TEEN. I wanted to go to the movies, shop...etc. The clothes I wore were too worldly and most people tried to keep their children from associating with me. I started to not care because I didn't want friends like that to begin with. My every word and action was judgement.
Last year, I put my foot down. I was sick of being isolated and living in fear. And people controlling every aspect of my life. My next move is to move to New York and slowly overcome my shyness by finding a vocalist instuctor. And maybe trying to start my own clothing line. Maybe I won't have the full support of my family. But I do have someone special in my life who will. And plus, all of you guys.
But I really thank you guys. I realize that I'm still young and I should turn a negative into a positive. I don't want to waste anymore of my time.
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SPAZnik
Awesome ta hear, Nickey! Keep us posted, huh? Don't ferget us *little people*!
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Soledad
nickey I read your post and feel like crying because I can really really relate!! I know what it feels like, the isolation, the depression, believe me I know. I was also 22 when I mentally left the WT because I couldn't continue living like that, I wanted to make a future for myself. Please please please live your dreams!! dont look back, EVER! Im 28 now and I have never again even contemplated going back, and I have never even suffered from depression again! It's not too late at all. I finished college 4 years ago and I'm getting ready for law school. All of this I would have never accomplished if I didn't take the first step. Go for it!
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Solace
You are So young!
OMG, You have your whole life in front of you!
Did I actually just say that? Oh Well,, corny, but its true!
I was miserable growing up a JW. I was very depressed and I thought that was all there was to life, ya know? I really wanted to end it, I never even thought about my future and the fact that I was in charge of it. I also went back to school when I was in my 20's, after I had my daughter. I dont believe its ever "too late" to further your education.
Try not to beat yourself up, so many here can relate to what you are going through.
Keep your chin up & sing your heart out!
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nilfun
Nickey, it's never too late...