by Aztec 25 Replies latest jw experiences
My most embarrassing moment was getting caught in the backseat of my car in a dark parking lot with a girl I met only a few days before. He pulled up real quiet behind me and then turned on his spotlight. And it was a damn K-9 unit too, so all you heard was his dog barking his ass off.
Oh, if you're wondering what was going on back there, well not much. By that time we were fully clothed again.
I didn't get a ticket, just told to go home. I never saw the girl again.
Hehe Buster. You are too funny! Sheila I have done similar on more than one occasion. I'm a little on the clumsy side.
Thanks for the stories!
One more from me.
I decided on my 28th birthday I was gonna go out and party cause I never do anything on my birthday. I made plans to hang out with 2 of my sisters, my best friend and my sisters boyfriend. My birthday is very close to Christmas and I work in retail so I HAD to work. I did manage to get off by 6 pm though and I had not had a chance to eat as we were very busy. I hurredly got ready to go and my sister picked me up. I still had not eaten. We get to my sister's house and she hands me a glass of wine. We have a toast and head out. We pick up my best friend who gives me a vodka and cranberry juice. Then we head out. We get to the club and I pay not only for myself but my friend cause he is between paychecks and is broke. (mini grrrrr #1 it's my bday and I am paying) We get inside and get drinks. My friend has enough to buy himself a beer btw. We are hanging out and listening to the band. The band sucks! My sisters and the boyfriend actually like the band and my one sister has run into a bunch of friends. I suggest going somewhere more fun. Noone wants to leave. (mini grrrr#2 it's my bday damnit not their's) My best friend and I go down stairs and I end up buying us drinks. Yet again I am paying. My married sister who is having marital problems comes downstairs. My best friend starts hitting on her and then tells me she is hot and he can SO get her. Now I've only had a glass of wine, a vodka and cran juice, a beer and a shot of jack over a 3 hour period but I am soooo sloshed at this point cause I haven't eaten all day. I lose it and tell my best friend to go to hell and I punch him right there in the bar! I mean I decked him good! My sisters decided we should leave. We get to my friends house and he starts hitting on my sister again so I deck him again. My sister, quite wisely, decides we should go home. She finally gets me to my house and as I try to get out I promptly greet the pavement. (for the second time) The next morning I wake up and my ankle is the size of a grapefruit, my knee is a bloody mess and I can barely remember how I got home.
I don't go out on my birthday anymore...
~Aztec
I have posted this before also- but here goes- skip it who has read it before. When I first came from England to Montreal-the area I lived in was mostly french speaking.( I was not a JW) didnt believe in any thing really- I had to get a job---evenings! hubby looked after the kids( as we were very poor) I went to Laura Secords ( I had to say I was Catholic as they would not hire anyone else( I wasnt though) we had to work in the back of the store making up the boxes of cholates. I was the only English speaking girl there - the rest spoke both languages. They never bothered with me- they spoke French all the time & I didnt understand -so it was very uncomfortable. But the Boss said "Grace go into the front of the store & bring in the scale!!!!!!"( Well the next time your in Laura Secords look at the scale -it is HUGE with marble flats to weigh the boxes on-) I was shocked. But I thought "OH no they aint going to make me look like a weakling ": So I struggled for quite a while to manage to lift the ruddy thing -stumbled into the back with it----gasping & puffing!!!!The shocked look on every ones face was obvious!!!!!!!It had not been moved in 20 years....... They wanted me to pick up a little scale under the counter I didn't know it was there....Not the Most embarrasing time just one I have a million of them........
Great stories. You all gave me some great laughs.
I probably have lots of embarrassing moments, but the one I remember the most and still want to forget was a review of some sort at the KH. The speaker asked "Who wrote the book of Ruth?" I raised my hand and said "Mordecai". I was thinking of the book of Esther. Everyone laughed, and I was so humiliated. Silly, wasn't it?
In high school, I had to give a speech for one of my girlfriends, who was campaigning for class Secretary. When I got up to speak, I went completely blank. I mumbled a few things, and ran off the stage. She lost the election, and I always blamed myself. I was never unprepared again, and love to speak, publicly now.
1982 Me = apprentice at the steelworks. My tradesman sends me to the store to get some felt to seal around the edges of the cover of the bearing housing we were working on. I get back and the labourer asks me where I've been. I answer: "Getting felt". Complete the story yourselves...
That one reminded me of how my teenaged sons used to tease me all the time about bread. There was an outlet bread store, and we often went there on Saturdays after service. The boys loved to tell their Dad that "Mom needs to get bread." (get bred)
My most embarresing that I can remember was when I was about 15 years old.
I had this crush on a pioneer brother. we were all on holidays and he was in our van.
We were talking about I dont know what when out of the blue I pipe up and say:
"Did you know octopus have testicles all over them"
I was ment to say that octopus have tenticles.. I wanted the ground to swallow up and eat me... I couldnt look at him for ages... My brother and sister used it to make fun of me for ever after (still to this day)
I was sitting at the front of the Kingdom Hall with my friends. My brothers, and the guy I had a crush on were sitting in the back rows. I went into the bathroom. When I returned I walked up the aisle to my seat. I heard my brothers guffawing, and snickers from the congregation. I didn't pay much attention. After the final prayer, a sister walked up to me and told me my skirt was tucked into my panty hose. Egads! <blushes>
CG
Okay, one more.
In Massachusetts we have Candlepin Bowling. The pins are tall and thin. The balls are small without any holes - a bit bigger than a softball. The scores are low, and a strike is rare. So I'm 16 or 17 and Vinny, Vinny, Joe, Vinny and I decide to go bowling one afternoon down to Ficco's in Franklin.
Okay, we got a lane next to some other group. This other group included a couple very pretty girls, including one particularly stunning tall blond. Well, here I am standing, ready to roll - you know, with the ball up to my face for aiming. The tall blond is also standing. She nods that I should go, so I proceed. Yup, testosterone poisoning, here I come. I start my apporach, reach back to let out one impressively hard roll ... plant my left foot ... here goes ... I knock the ball off my left ankle, across the gutters and return rail, yup, into her lane ... and BANG - strike.
My ankle was fine. But can you imagine how much it hurt to have those pretty gilrs laughing that hard? The blond just turned away, and tried her best to be nice.
Buster - you have the most hysterical stories! I really needed the laugh!
Thanks!
