Would You Kiss A Smoker? (page 8)

Sentinel

Hummm, that's where I'm having a bit of a problem. I don't smoke. Never have. My father was a heavy smoker and my first mate smoked. After we separated, I swore that I wouldn't even date anyone that smoked. My personal choice, and I stuck to it. Present hubby did not smoke when we dated or prior, but after we got married, he suddenly thought he'd give it a try. I remember that evening very well.

He came home from work and I was fixing dinner. He laid this pack of cigarettes on the table, taking one out and lighting it. As he tells it now, I said: "what in god's name do you think your doing? Are you crazy? Are you losing your mind? You don't smoke". And then I wiped my hands off, walked over to him, took the cigarette out of his mouth, walked over to the sink, put it down the disposal, then I walked back to him, removed his glasses, leaned over and very firmly stated, "this wasn't in our contract". He said he thought I was gonna punch him in the nose.

He was so smart, and thought he would try it out and quit whenever he wanted. A "right" of his. I could have no say in the matter. He was an adult, and he would decide what he was going to do, and he was going to smoke, and so be it. Now, some seventeen years later, he is SO SORRY he ever was "so stupid" (his words). He has tried to quit, and can't. (He says maybe I should have punched him in the nose that evening. ) Violence is not my style.

I feel like I've been punished all the way around, because he KNOWS how I hate the smell and the taste of his mouth, so he rarely gives me that passionate kiss anymore. He says his breath is too bad. Mind you, I never nag him about the habit at all. I have said encouraging things, and then let it go.

He does not smoke inside the house or in my car--HIS choice, which I appreciate. He says to wait, because he "will stop". So, meantime, I'm waiting, and waiting. .....and waiting. He did go to the doctor and got a prescription for the patches, but he has yet to get it filled. He says he's just not ready to "commit". I am very frustrated with my mate right now, but still trying to be patient. I'm hopeful that he will be able to finally do it. He hates himself for the habit, and says it will even be tougher than staying sober.

plmkrzy

thought he would try it out and quit whenever he wanted

Famous last words most of us smokers said once.

He hates himself for the habit, and says it will even be tougher than staying sober.

Geesh, a double whammy eh? Sorry to hear that. It took my dad about 35 years or longer to get sober and stay sober. Sad thing is after all that it was the beacon and eggs and fried food that gave him a heart attack. Oddly his liver is fine. He was free of cancer more then 25 years ago. Go figure.

funkyderek

Englishman,

I remember playing with my Dinkies in a sand pit then licking then clean afterwards.

You must be very limber

Englishman

I remember playing with my Dinkies in a sand pit then licking then clean afterwards.

You must be very limber

Hee hee!

Now then, Funky Derek, you know exactly what I was referring to when I mentioned my "Dinkies".

Here's one of my first Dinky toys:

Now this is interesting: You'll see the name on the side of the toy is "Mobilgas". As a child, I thought that it read "Mobiligas", note the extra "i". So I pronounced the name "Mobe-elijah".

My dad thought that I was talking about an old testament prophet!

Englishman.

Edited by - Englishman on 27 January 2003 8:45:28

ITguy

Hmmm. Was this thread started for my benefit, or to tease me?

I don't smoke. Never have, don't have the desire to.

That being said, I think an attractive woman smoking is very sexy...Would I kiss her? For sure. In fact I want to experience this, if only to get the idea out of my head.

*Looks around hopefully at Viv, Lyin, Aztec, plmkrzy and others*

Reborn2002

I would not kiss a chick who smoked under any circumstances.

Smoking is disgusting.

It causes cancer, yellows your teeth, wrinkles skin, and SMELLS AWFUL (not to mention the smell that accumulates on clothing)

Too many fish in the sea, I would not mess with one who was careless with their health and addicted to nicotine.

SOOO NOT SEXY.

animal

I do it every day....

Animal

plmkrzy

Sentinel

So, I fell right back into that pattern. You can only imagine how devestated I was in those days.

Unfortunately, I have a very good sense of what you must be going through and have gone through. One good thing is you are still together and still love each other and he is recovering? Not many make it that far. Hardly any make it that far. That is wonderful, more power to you.

My shrink made a comment to me a long time ago that I have never forgotten. "Denial is looked down on by most and considered a disease but in reality, in most cases, it is a tool that helps one in need keep from going completely crazy" And mind you the word "crazy" is a no no as well.

I use to beat myself up, and did for years, for not seeing what was right in front of me. Being co-dependant. When I learned to embrace the idea that denial was my friend, at the time, things really changed for me, my perspection was clearer when I had thoughts of the past and memories of the horrible stuff. I began to actually deal with it in a healthy way and stopped blaming myself for everything.

Alcoholics are THEE cleverest people when it comes to hiding things. Up to a point. And any other addicts as well. It is not something we automatically go into a relationship ready to deal with. And we want the best relationship possible. There is nothing wrong with that.

keep on truckin" ((((sentenal))))

plum

RR

She can be the most beautiful women in the world, but if she smokes, she's the ugliest in my eyes.

RR

troucul

But what if she's smoking the baloney pony?

Would You Kiss A Smoker?

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