Thank you, @dubstepped. I'm fluctuating through waves of feeling powerful and prepared for this meeting, to feeling utterly frightened and fearful of being exposed. I keep listening to JC audios on Youtube where the elders are so hostile and are yelling at the accused in such an intimidating way, and I lose all sense of power and control I feel over the situation :(. I'm losing my cool very quickly.
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by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho 209 Replies latest members meetups
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wheelwithinwheel
The meeting is perhaps just shepherding. But if there are 3 elders present it may be more serious and could easily turn into a judicial committee, if it isn't already one.
Tell them you are so thankful and appreciative for Jehovah's attention and encouragement. If they do have concerns or evidence they want to discuss, allow them to get it out there, and importantly, don't argue or deny or try to minimize. It's better to humbly admit your 'failings', hang your head, but look into their eyes with sincerity. Be aware that crying is not necessarily a sign of regret or repentance and the elders have been made aware that it can be manipulative, so not saying don't cry if you feel like it, just keep in mind crying in itself doesn't get you off the hook. You need to show sincere and deep regret and repentance for any elder perceived sins. Tell them you have prayed or will pray (better 'have' if it fits your story) to be forgiven, are hoping desperately that Jehovah has heard your prayers and are ready to do anything to make it right. This is termed works that demonstrate repentance. It would be great if you could tell them some things you have already done to turn the situation around. Have some concrete and practical ideas ready in case they ask what you are going to do to repair your spirituality and relations with Jehovah and show him you are truly sorry. Show them you really are thankful for their efforts to help you stay on the narrow road and you are determined to pick yourself up and keep going with their help.
The main criteria is repentance. The elder's course has told them to look for it. They need to feel you are truly repentant. If they believe they have discerned sincere repentance, normally you won't be disfellowshipped even if you have committed serious sins.
Once I read your user name I became confident you'll do just fine. We're here for you and don't forget it's OK to be devious and lie. The GB does it all the time. God's faithful servants have always been 'sneaky'. Learned that in my pioneer school. Was shocked at the time LOL. Stay strong and keep us posted.
Wheels
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sir82
My goal is to express Godly sadness for having the "wrong" thoughts about the organizaion, make an apology, and avoid answering any inflammatory questions. If I get out of there alive, my fade begins then and there. No more meetings.
You're definitely on the right track.
If this is your goal, in your judicial meeting, make sure you talk about your "damaged relationship with Jehovah". A LOT.
I mean, A LOT.
Seriously, You shouldn't let 5 minutes go by without referring to how much you've "hurt Jehovah", how "fearful you are that he'll never forgive you", how your "relationship with Jehovah is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING in your whole cotton-pickin' life, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.
If you're a gal, let the tears flow. Keep a raw onion in your car & sniff it just before your meeting if you have to.
If you're a guy, the onion thing is good, but you can get by with just red eyes and a pouting lip.
Really. All you should talk about is how you want to "repair your relationship with Jehovah". Don't say anything about losing contact with family, friends, etc. Make it ALL ABOUT JEHOVAH, JEHOVAH, JEHOVAH, OH JEHOVAH.
They'll lap it up like a starving kitten with a bowl of fresh cream.
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Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
Hey Wheels,
That was my original plan! To abase myself before them and beg for Jehovah's forgiveness. But then I got all turned around by some ex Witnesses who lobbied for my self-respect and dignity and told me to evade all questions and stand my ground! I'm so confused because I'm prepared to go in now with a strong attitude to defend my rights of privacy and appropriate levels of boundaries. But on the other hand, I'm torn because I see the value of playing the "repentant" card and following their script. Urgh, the clock is ticking and I'm flip-flopping more than New Light.
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jp1692
Wake Me Up: I'm prepared to go in now with a strong attitude to defend my rights of privacy and appropriate levels of boundaries.
But if you go, you will have surrendered your rights and allowed them to violate your boundaries.
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Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
@jp1692 I feel like I'm playing tic-tac-toe with these guys :(. I can't win no matter which direction I turn :(. This whole thing is mentally crippling to me. It's nearly dawn and I haven't slept because my meeting is today and I still don't know what the heck I'm going to do :(.
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Giordano
The reference to the ARC is that these things happened . The entire sworn testimony was filmed with no outside reporting necessary .........so no apostate made up reporting.
Of the 1006 cases not a single case was reported to the authorities even though the individual congregations investigated, even got about 400 or so confessions. By the way there were 1700 to 1800 victims.
So if you go in and talk with them you have the weight of those congregation Elders, Branch Elders and even a Governing Body member giving sworn testimony.
If you claim that this stumbled you....... you have taken a position that is going to be unassailable. What are they going to say....... that it didn't happen? That children were not subjected to sexual abuse, that this wasn't known?
That the two witness rule was applied to children so pedophiles escaped being charged by the Elders. Was that Jesus's intention or did he say very plainly in Matthew 19:14....
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
I think this is a major cause for being stumbled. Anything they want to throw at you blame it on this shocking situation. That this caused you a level of stress that you had never felt before.
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Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
@sir82 Yeah, I'm a broad. I just have this gut intuition that the elders are seeing through the charade and know I'm playing them by using the right buzz words and expressions of repentance, etc. I am trapped in my own head because I know they NEVER reveal all their cards (ie, they withhold how much they actually know/what evidence they have to incriminate you) and am scared they'll trap me.
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Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
@Giordano Can't they negate the ARC by stating vague lines of spurious reasoning such as the tired "imperfect men" excuse and that "Jehovah is the ultimate judge, so we have no place jumping ahead of Him and allowing the actions of men to sway us from our loyalty to Him"? The Witnesses are so brainwashed into believing that the WT = Jehovah, that any stumbling I feel because of the WT means I am not trusting in Jehovah?
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jp1692
Wake Me Up: I feel like I'm playing tic-tac-toe with these guys. I can't win no matter which direction I turn.
If you play their game you will lose. At the risk of mixing our metaphors, they hold all the cards.
If you want to avoid getting disfellowshipped, send a letter saying you have retained a lawyer and will sue them personally and the WTBTS jointly for defamation of character (slander & libel) if they pursue the matter. They will be forced to call the branch and the branch will probably tell them to drop it.