I lost my sister today (page 3)

LDH

Teejay,

Do you still have my number? If you do, give me a call.

I'm sorry.

Lisa

starfish422

Wow, you can hear in her comments about 'not yet being a "good" Christian' that the guilt of the Dubs still lives strong inside her.

That was something that was difficult for me in the first years after I left the Borg. I remember being in a department store a year and a bit after I had written my letter; it was at Christmastime and I was in the area with all the Christmas ornament displays, adding to my then-small collection of ornaments. A JW family I knew very well walked by and I ducked behind one of the trees as I didn't want them to see me in the xmas area. My mother-in-law (rest her) was with me, and took me to task on this, telling me that I didn't need to be ashamed of the decision I had made, and all the things that came along with it, like celebrating xmas.

It took a while but I eventually was able to rid myself of the years and years of accumulated guilt.

Teejay, my baby sister also is in the Dubs, along with the rest of my family (parents, two older married brothers and their wives & children), but my baby sis is the one I really, really miss.

So here's hoping our baby sisters can rid themselves of that old Dub guilt, and we will have them back one day. (((((HUGS))))) to you Teejay.

Sentinel

It's another case of emotional blackmail via the borg.

Love should not come at such a price......to lose one's true soul

I feel for your sister, and I feel for you. Both of you are losing so much.

gumby

Hey teejay,you lost your sister? Maybe not bud.Give her a while.When reality sets in,she may be out for good..Lets hope for the best.....OUTLAW Well said outlaw. Didn't joelbear go back for awhile......only to discover they are the scumbags he knew they were? Many go back....not because they feel they should. They go back for family, friends, and a hope they lost. To each their own. If your sis becomes happy over this....then what the hell.....she's happy. The sad part is when they go back and become a victim. By this I mean if the blood issue or anything like that becomes a factor in their life........then that's not good. Gumby

DanTheMan

Very sad. Religious addiction is powerful indeed.

She will be pressured to shun you, no question. I hope that she doesn't.

SloBoy

Teejay,

Someone likened the relationship that some have with the WBTS to an abusive relationship. For what it's worth, statistics show that abuse victims return to their abusers an average of SEVEN times before they leave for good.

Big Tex

Sometimes people need to be told what to do, when to do and how to go about doing it. I'm sorry your sister feels the need to go back. But she reminds me a bit of my father in law. I got him to read CofC and he did. Afterwards he told me he didn't disagree with a thing in the book but he was still going to meetings and still partaking of the emblems.

None so blind as those who will not see.

teejay

>>>Hope it doesn't cause problems for you or come between you Teejay. -- Simon

teejay

>>>Hope it doesn't cause problems for you or come between you Teejay. -- Simon

teejay

>>>Hope it doesn't cause problems for you or come between you Teejay. -- Simon<<<

Me, too, Simon. My sister is pretty strong-willed (from a long line of strong-willed womenz) so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the return won't touch her independent spirit.

>>> you never lost her tj, she's just sleeping! -- unclebruce <<<

That's a good way of looking at it, Lee. Again, my apologies for the melodrama in saying I lost her. Just sad for her, that's all. Who knows? Maybe she'll be "happy" at last.

>>> Your comment simply sums up the whole enchilada as regards our loved ones still held captive by the 'iron fist' of watchtowerism. Trying to pry those steely fingers free after rigor mortis sets in ofter requires some breaking of bones. More painful for the doctor than the patient. -- DannyBear <<<

Damn chilling analogy, Dan, but I'm afraid it fits. Despite her sharp mind and outspokenness, I think my sister has always been afraid to step out into the realm of genuine independent thinking. Part of it is that she loves our mother so much that to question my mother's religion -- I think -- would mean questioning the virtue of Mama herself. In my sister's mind, she could never separate Mama from Mother™... if you know what I mean.

Then too, being the youngest of the brood, she has no memories of Daddy, so I think part of the attraction to the Organization is the security the "older men" give her. I understand that part of it very well because I felt that, too, for a long time. For me, there just came a time when the bs clearly outweighed whatever good there was, became too much to swallow (or even ignore), and I had to get up outta there. We're all different, though, and our tolerance for falsehood, lies, and bs varies from person to person.

>>> Wow, you can hear in her comments about 'not yet being a "good" Christian' that the guilt of the Dubs still lives strong inside her... my baby sister also is in the Dubs, along with the rest of my family (parents, two older married brothers and their wives & children), but my baby sis is the one I really, really miss. So here's hoping our baby sisters can rid themselves of that old Dub guilt, and we will have them back one day. -- starfish422 <<<

Starfish ,

Despite all of her bluster about being her own woman and being able to think for herself yadda yadda, I think you are absolutely right about the role guilt has played in this decision of hers. As she told me in that email, she never doubted -- not for a second -- that the Witnesses 'had the truth' and that the gb were being used by Jehovah. Her inactivity, she said, was due to the overwhelming feeling that she just wasn't good enough as a person to live up to "jehovah's Standards™.

No matter what I said or how I said it, I have never been able to convince her that she is a fine human being and doesn't need to live up to the often unrealistic expectations of a buncha old white men in New York City who never in life accomplished, on their own, even half of what she did. Never got me anywhere. I finally got tired and quit trying.

When it comes to baby sisters and baby brothers, your whole life you kinda have a little something in you where you look out for them. They're special (at least mine is), and when they get into some kind of trouble or head off in the wrong direction, you feel an extra kind of urgency and pain. Maybe that's part of what I'm feeling -- that I've let her down somehow.

Thanks for your thoughts, Starfish.

>>> I feel for your sister, and I feel for you. Both of you are losing so much. -- Sentinel <<<

Sentinel ,

Hopefully, neither of us will lose too much. That's what I'm hoping for, anyway. My sister is head over heels in love with my three year old so I figure I have an ace in the hole. I have zero interest in convincing Sis that she's made the wrong decision. All I want is for her to continue to see me as just her brother. Not her apostate brother, just her brother. If we can stay there, I'll be happy.

>>> To each their own. If your sis becomes happy over this....then what the hell.....she's happy. -- gumby<<<

My thoughts exactly, Gumby.

I'm not like some who have an undying hatred for the Watchtower Society. Hell... some people NEED the lifestyle it offers! They need to be told when and where to go, what to do, what to think. My mother is a prime example of that, I hate to say. People like that are all over, and not just among the Dubs, either.

Happiness is relative, anyway. What makes one person happy doesn't come close to making another happy. So what the heck? If she thinks she's happy, then I'm happy for her... and I've already told her so.

>>> She will be pressured to shun you, no question. I hope that she doesn't. DanTheMan <<<

DanTheMan ,

For those that don't know, I guess there's a need for me to say that I'm not df'd or da'd. Just inactive. Been this way for years.

It just so happens that this morning an old JW friend who I hadn't seen in a year or two wanted to kill some time out in service (or pad his time sheet) and "called on me" to say hey. He can get away with that because I'm in the position I'm in of not being df'd. The conversation didn't come close to "spiritual" topics. Just two men... talking like any ole pair of men do. Work, golf, pcs, sports. He got to count some time, I got to see an old friend.

In the same way, since I'm 'only' inactive (if she wants and stays true to her pledge) Sis can easily get away with coming to visit just like she's done the past half-decade. Who knows what path she'll take, though? That's what worries me.

>>> Someone likened the relationship that some have with the WBTS to an abusive relationship. For what it's worth, statistics show that abuse victims return to their abusers an average of SEVEN times before they leave for good. -- SloBoy <<<

A gruesome thought, SloBoy. This is my sister's fourth return. In her case I hope the stats don't hold up.

I lost my sister today

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