Should I let my kids visit my JW parents?

NAPPY ROOTS

I have a dilema. My parents are still active JW. Last year they told me they had to limit their association with me. Needless to say, I was very hurt. I was not expecting it. So I cut off all association with them. I don't need their approval for how I live my life. Now they are calling me because they want my kids to visit them. I feel if they don't want to associate with me, why should I let them associate with my children. Am I being mean?

OUTLAW

Are you being mean? NO!..Will they respect the way you raise your kids,or will they interfere with their bullshit religion? I regret letting my asshole parents anywhere near my kids..Thank god my kids see the religion for what it is,a steaming cow pie...OUTLAW

archangel01

You'll be sorry if you do

The parents will push that cult on them trust me I know! Also That sounds so bad, they don't really care for you or what they think is going to happen to you but we will help save the kids so please let us see them.That's what it sound like to me.You know if you let them sleep over they will take them to the meetings and tell them not to tell you(Right there alone they are teaching your kids to lie to YOU). Trust me I Know! Put your foot down and said NO.They will mess up their minds. YOU should be teaching them the bible/morals the right way from JESUS/GOD and tell them not to be misleaded. If your parents won't treat you right (from what JESUS taught in the Bible) then they lose out on seeing there grandkids, plain and simple. You have to look out for the welfare of your kids and whats best for them.

blueyes

I will have to agree with Outlaw and Arch.

Your children are your (and your spouse's) responsiblility - physically and spiritually. JWs know this and should respect this idea. If you find your parents actions are not acceptable, then there is no reason to expose your children to those actions either.

I know what the bible says about honoring your mother and father, but most JWs I have known don't care enough about non-believing family members either. They don't practice what they preach and be good examples for others to emmulate. I would let them know that when they show love towards they're own blood and be an example for the children then I would let them visit with the children, but only if me or my spouse was around to supervise, so to speak. You don't have to tell them about the supervisory part, as it will become apparent in due time.

If they're any kind of loving grandparents then they will go out of their way to accommodate your wishes, just for a chance to see their grandchildren.

I tell you this from experience within my own family.

Best of luck and please let us know what you decide, and the outcome.

Blu

Valis

eh brudda we have more in common with each other than you think...look it boils down to this...what are your parents going to do with the child? You have every right to ask that...if they say take the child to meeting then, please by all means be firm and tell them that if they want to see your kids then they can find more pleasant ways to do it than making them sit through such droll business as their belief. Sorry mom and dad, but please don't do that...no bible stuff...take them to the zoo and call it good please...EMPHASIZE PLEASE and if they disrespect your views like my parents did me, then inform them they will not see them any more...simply put....do not be bullied by guilt or parental control of you as an adult.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

happysistah

Hi Happy Roots,

That is really a hard one. I think that Valis gave excellent advice. Set the ground rules. Your parents certainly had no problems setting the ground rules about associating with you. I think if they respect you wishes --your children can certainly benefit from knowing their grandparents. Likewise your parent's lives will definitely be enriched by spending time with their grandchildren.

The shunning issue that Jehovah Witnesses feel that they must abide by and even take to the next level has ruined many families. Unfortunately, it makes families dysfunctional.

Try to work it out, if at all possible.

happysistah

lisavegas420

I am kinda surprised that they asked to see your children. My parents don't want to see or get to know my children 23 & 18 or my two granddaughters 5 and 7 mos. They don't want to get to know them because they think my children will die along side of me at armegedeon. And it will only cause THEM more hurt to see them die. If they don't know them then they can;t miss them.

But, my family (husband, children. and granddaughter) is so wonderful, I would love for my parents to ask to see them. I would take them if they wanted to see them. I also believe that my children know enough about how my parents have treated me and that they wouldn't be very receptive to them.

Lisa

Francois

I made the mistake of letting my parents have access to my little boy; he was six at the time. After a few weeks of intense visiting, I discovered that they were making him prepare for, and then go to the book study, the meetings at the hall, and rehearsing prayers for him to repeat. I went through the roof. I also cut off those visitations.

They don't respect or love you enough to maintain loving parental contact with you, so why do you expect they would honor your request to keep your children free of JW propaganda? In addition, they might SAY they were doing so when they aren't - theocratic warfare strategy being taken into consideration 'n' all.

francois

Xena

My sisters are JW's who shun me and want to still associate with my 8 year old daughter. My first response was HELL NO if you don't want to associate with me then you can't associate with my daughter either.....but then I got to thinking about it and decided that made me as bad as them. I want my daughter to see them for what they are and that I have done nothing to deserve the way they treat me. As Valis said I set down some ground rules, no meetings, no telling her that her parents are gonna die at Armageddon (they tried this once and got an ear full from me!). The last time my sister was down from Virginia it seemed to go well, so I will let her go with them shopping this next time she visits...

It's a hard decision and it was difficult for me to watch her leave with them when they don't even acknowledge me, but I want her to grow up to be more accepting then they are and see that you can turn the other cheek.....who knows maybe someday they will come around....

DanTheMan

Tough question.

Often times when people are in a difficult or transitional period in their life, they may start to search for a "big answer" to everything. When I was a JW, I knew persons whose only exposure to any religion when they were kids was being "witnessed" to by a JW relative of their parents. They later went on to become JW's themselves. So you're parents may plant some seeds that may bear some undesirable fruit later in your children's lives.

If your parents "witness" to your kids, only to have you "unwitness" to them later, then it would be very easy for your parents to paint you as being "bitter" and "the bad guy". Also, this could be unnecessarily stressful for your kids.

I don't know the answer, all I know is I hate JWism for making the lives of people who dare leave their spiritual paradise so difficult.

Should I let my kids visit my JW parents?

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