If we don't shun them back then they influence our kids to grow up and shun their own parents
Sorry I couldn't let this pass....as parents WE are the biggest influence in our child's life. Open and honest communication with your children is the key if you ask me....explain to them WHY family members are shunning you and why it is wrong...then you discuss with them if they want to associate with the family members and what might occur regarding the religion and how to handle it. When they come home from being with the JW family members discuss where they went and what they did....
Again I understand not all circumstances are the same...as has been brought out several times not all JW's are the same. So far my family has respected my request that they not discuss religion with my daughter, not everyone is so lucky. It is a personal decision (and not an easy one) made after taking into consideration personal circumstances...