The OP brings up some great points. When 3rd gen and I "checked out" and became "inactive" we kept our mouths shut. We wrote no letters, made no announcements, and moved to another circuit's territory. However, we had about 200 JW relatives in 3 states, Bethel and Gilead. 99% of them said nothing, we simply stopped getting calls and invites to dinners and reunions.
However, ONE relative who had called frequently over the years was an early internet adopter (AOL) C.O.s daughter, Elder's wife, and grandmother. She called and informed me about the "Silent Lamb"/JW child molesting victim movement. She forwarded newspaper clippings of California Molesting cases to me. She asked if the Russel Pyramid existed, and then bought a couple of cross-country plane tickets to SEE and verify it! She was shocked and dismayed by the Generation change. It appeared she then became "JW light" and missed many meetings, service, etc. However, when we simply stopped attending, she made a big announcement to all the family that WE had become apostates!!! She created a lot of drama that the various "JWlite" members passed around. It seemed it was to direct attention away from themselves..." at least we are not apostates"!
I had seen this type of attitude and comments before. One young JW had a real taste for the sisters :) and had been disfellowshiped repeatedly. Later over coffee, he exclaimed to me when I was an Elder, "I like sex, but at least I'm not an apostate".
It is strange how JWs don't go on about Drug dealers, murderers, and rapists as they do about anyone who decides to check out of Hotel California. :)