confused teenage witness (page 2)

SpiceItUp

smias03---- send me an email. I live in SW FL [email protected]

I started studying in my teens and studied off and on, so I have some idea of what it's like with witnesses that age. If you're not picky about age I think you can find a lot of friends here on this board. If there is one thing I can say to you though it would be just to stay true to yourself. Even though you may have an opened mind, you can always act out of the truest thing that's inside of you. All this means is to have integrity with yourself. By all means consider what others have to say and investigate what you want to find out about, but don't take someone else's word as true just because they seem like they are smart or something. Anyway, nice to have you here - stick around and chat so we can get to know you.

Mark

Sentinel

Hello Smias, and Welcome here.

I can understand where you are coming from, in that you feel alone in your efforts. Feeling alone is different than "being alone". Being alone is good sometimes, to get prospective and direction, without a lot of input. But feeling entirely alone, without anyone to connect with is something you will need to work on. The JW's take away "self", and so besides being alone, you feel totally disconnected, and you really don't know what it is that would make you happy. Someone has always force-fed these concepts into our minds, and without that constant input, we feel without purpose, and we are weak. We need to work on making our minds and hearts stronger, and in doing so, we will make new lives for ourselves. Take it one day at a time.

As I was drifting out of the borg, I began to re-connect with some relatives and high school friends. These people, some I've known since my very young, pre-JW days, said they were just waiting for me to "come around". They welcomed me with open arms. I have relatives in and out of the borg. I've lost my mother and others, but gradually worked on building new foundations. Yes, some of them dissed me, and that felt pretty awful; but on the other hand, I was able to get back in touch with and maintain good friendships and relationships with a handful of people. I reached out to fellow employees along the way. I became more open, more trusting of human beings "in the world". My comfort level gradually improved and I felt more self assured. The labeling, shunning that goes on is meant to make us feel hopeless, but that need not be the case. We know that we will lose many that we love, but this is not our fault. The blame lies on the borg, who establishes such cultish practices.

No one should have to go through what we have to go through, simply to lead our own lives and be true to our own hearts. But, alas, the borg systematically removes self confidence and makes us so complacent. Each new day, is a day that we now have control of. We can make our own choices, listen to our own conscience (heart) and begin the healing process. We can learn to love ourselves and give and receive love, and practice compassion.

Keep us posted on your progress, and remember that we are here to help you. This avenue of support did not exist years ago, and today it is a mighty blessing.

be wise

Smias, glad you have made it here.

It already proves a lot to the kind of determination you have.

I felt exactly the way you did as a JW. I’ve only been posting on this site for a matter of months but I stopped going to the meeting at about 18 years old I’m now 23. I’m glad you found JWD so soon; it will be of great help to you.

Try and start afresh in your mind. Just take things at your own pace and always question, everything.

I lost all contact with JW’s. The best thing I did was starting Music College. I was extremely shy, but when your told to sing in front of a room full of strangers you kinda have to get used to it after a while and you realise nobody really cares or is judging you anyway. I still am in a lot of ways but I don't let it hold me back. I was shy through lack of experience of life, nothing more, the WTBTS crippled my personal development. I can come across as really confident because I am learning but in situations that are new to me I can't.

You obviously have confidence in your true self or you wouldn’t be here. You won’t believe how much you will now change if you take the advice you have received from posters even if it's just a small part of it …I told you, but it’s true. It doesn’t take a miracle just a steady slog; don’t give up.

be wise.

Big Tex

smias

Don't be afraid. I'm glad you made your way here. This is a good place and we have all been where you're at right now. I don't know your whole situation, but I think you should realize this is your life. It's best led by you and the decisions you make, not by Jehovah's Witnesses.

Good luck.

NaruNaruChan

Smias,

I'm 21 and I just left the org. six months ago. First and foremost, try to deprogram yourself from what you learned in the religion... or you'll turn back to it in a few months, and it'll become a sick fetish...

The best way to deprogram is to read online, and I suggest www.freeminds.org, and this forum. E-mail randy watters at the aforementioned website and he can help you quite a bit. =-) Trust me, it'll do you a world of good. You'll learn everything about the society that they don't want you to know.

Oh, and if you want something to compare this experience to, watch The Matrix or Truman Show, and that'll give you a good idea.

Welcome to the forum.

Gg..

shamus

Hi There!

I just joined the board, too and wanted to just give you some friendly advice.

The witnesses have probably left you feeling a bit scared about "the world", and filled you with horrible stories of how "friends in the world" are never ever friends in the first place. HOGWASH! Growing up "Worldly", getting into the org. when 17 (to find happiness, b/c I was depressed), and later leaving after 10 years, I can honestly say that the only bad friends that I ever had were in the org. True, there were some good ones, but look what happened to you! The second you stopped going to meetings, your friend dropped you like a hot potatoe! That is typical of the judgmental attitude / uncaring attitiude that the Pharisees were responsible for doing. It honestly makes me sick how they just stop "assosiating" with a person because they are having problems. That is NOT WHAT JESUS WOULD HAVE DONE. Yet, its okay in the org. (Beware of those ravenous wolves!) Pretty typical of what they do.

It can and will be very scary to leave the org. My advice to you is don't just "leave", but "float away". Its okay to hang with the drifters, AS LONG AS ITS LOW-KEY. The elders will want to DF you, so be careful about going to crazy parties, etc. (like I used to do) You will find soon enough that there are some really nice people in the world, and they won't just drop you like a hot potatoe when you leave.

Bri.

Carmel

Tough as it may sound, religion ain't about "having friends'. It's gotta be more than that, plus friendship that is conditional, as in JUU and other cults is not friendship anyway. There must be about 5 billion ways to make new friends, depends on you being interested in what other's needs and interests are rather than looking for those to be interested in yours. Once you master that, you will naturally draw people to you who trust you and enjoy your company.

Keep us posted! Okay?

carmel

Ghost of Esmeralda

Hi sweetie, welcome to the forum.

I just discovered this thread, or I would've posted to it earlier. I agree with those who have said the best way to go is to read everything online you can, about the way the organization is really run and experiences of those who have left. Most of all you have to know that you're not alone!

You are fortunate to be waking up so young; though it may seem scary right now, believe me, there are many who don't listen to those nagging doubts in their teens/twenties and later on regret that they wasted years living a life they didn't want. You have your whole life ahead of you, you are resilient, you will survive. And you will thrive!

I finally got out at 25, but by then I was married, with a child, (not that I regret either because I wouldn't trade my child for anything) But I think sometimes how different my life could've been if I'd left at 19 and taken the music scholarship I was offered. Don't look back with regrets later...believe me, leaving the organization will not be one of them if you go. You've gotten a lot of good advice here, print it out and carry it with you if you can, that way it'll be with you wherever you go.

Sounds like we may have a lot in common with the way we were raised. I'm sending all good wishes your way, and hope that you will read, read, and read some more. Freeminds is the best place to start, and silentlambs. Once you do that, you can't unlearn what you've learned and it makes leaving a choice, not a burden. Freedom is WONDERFUL, don't let it frighten you.

hugs

essie

www.ghostwriter.homestead.com

confused teenage witness

JamesThomas