Age Appropriate Friends

Riley

So

We have a 25 year guy in our hall who is also a pioneer (which means he lives off his parents money), who likes to spend a lot of time with a 16 year old girl in the hall. It is usually in a group setting but he seems to gravitate toward her. He even has her Auxilary pioneering , which is something I don't think any student trying to make the grades needs. This guy is going to be an elder before he is 30 and the whole situation seems really creepy.

I wonder if I would be a dick, if I said something to the elders. I also don't get along with the elders very well.

blondie

A recipe for child sexual abuse!

jhine

Is there no safeguarding policy to report anything that you find suspicious or worrying?

Jan from Tam

slimboyfat

You could say something if you’re concerned - 16 seems too young for a 25 year old. She should finish school or be at least 18 before dating. There’s perhaps too little information to go on here. Other relevant factors might include where are the parents here? What country is this? Has he dated other sisters? Has she dated other brothers? How sure are you that he is interested in her? What does the phrase “has her auxiliary pioneering” mean? He put her up to it? How do you know?

I don’t think it could harm if you expressed genuine concern reasonably. Why not talk to her parents rather than an elder? If you make it clear it’s genuine concern, and not some kind of congregational action, it might be received okay. Then again, maybe a relevant safe-guarder would be more appropriate than a parent, if any exist in the congregation.

Do you have a trusted person in the congregation you can ask if they view the situation similarly, or if they have more information, or a different perspective?

Maybe there’s a qualified person here who can give a better answer.

jhine

Surely there should be a safeguarding officer.

Jan from Tam

Riley

A few year ago, I had some Mormons knock on my door. It was the middle of winter and I told them I wasn't really interested but did invite them in to warm up. I do know what is it like. I did offer them some coffee ( I forgot about the caffeine thing ), I then offered them some hot Chocolate and they did accept it. We talked some religion and I explained by situation and they were quit respectful. I got the impression that they weren't really the true believers ( one had a GF who was a catholic ) and they just wanted to get there mission done and move on with their lives.

They came by the next day and offered to shovel my snow. I told them if they do it, I will by some pizzas later and we will have a meal together. I tried to just offer them money but they can't accept money for there services. After about 45 minutes I just told one of them to go inside and watch my son who was two at the time and I will take a turn on the shovel. They told me with no uncertain terms that they are in no way to be alone with someone's child, just never ever ever. I explained to them I could see them the whole time from the driveway though the living room window and they didn't really strike me as the dangerous type. They were no absolute way.

My wife came home later and I told them I would hop in the car with them to go get some Pizzas cause I am paying for them. They then told me that I can't travel in the car with them for legal reasons. Finally I gave them by credit card and even that was a battle. Something could happen and we could be blamed ........blah, blah, blah. I told them I only have a 500 dollar credit limit and they wouldn't get that far is they screwed me.

A look at the way the JWs act now and I don't know if they are completely oblivious or just dangerous creeps. Taking other people kids into strangers houses, grown ass adults hanging out with kids while having some kind of authority over them, people pretending they are Grandparents when they are not any kind of blood relative. The whole thing just makes my skin crawl at times.

Riley

Slimboyfat

Who are you ? Jeffrey Epstein

A 25 year old doesn't need to be hanging out with a 16. There is no more detail needed than that.

road to nowhere

I watched a minor attracted person (MAP) ruin a young sisters life. It came out later he had driven another one to suicide but it was a secret. The idiot rules on that sort of thing meant nobody was warned by whichever elders read his intro lettter.

If at all possible get intervention by her parents. You may be too far removed to go to child protection or such.

This is the bunch that idolizes David .

TonusOH

Jan: Surely there should be a safeguarding officer.

There's no official position of the sort, though the expected action would be for a concerned person to speak with an elder and express any concerns, which would then (presumably) be investigated by the body of elders. I don't think there is much in the way of guidelines. Elders would be expected to talk to this person privately and provide spiritual guidance if they considered it necessary.

Ideally, they would not tell the person who expressed concern, but that's not always guaranteed. I have heard too many stories of elders who would become annoyed when anyone 'bothered' them with issues like this. So they would make it a point to identify the person who brought up the issue, thus creating exactly the sort of problems that they were supposed to prevent.

JW elders are handed a Bible and little else, and expected to deal with a wide range of issues, some of which they are clearly not prepared to deal with.

WingCommander

16 & 14? 18 & 16? 19 & 17?

No problem, 2 years age difference falls under "Juliet Laws" here in many of the United States.

25 & 16? This is called "grooming", and if this girl has a father in the picture, he needs to step the f*ck up and put this guy in his place, which is FAR AWAY from his underage daughter, under threat of immediate "Ass whooping" followed up by a stalking charge and restraining order.

Elduhzzzz wouldn't dare to say a thing to me about my actions either, or I'd plant my boot up their dumb asses next as a warning to "shepherd the flock" or else.

Age Appropriate Friends

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