by StinkyPantz 53 Replies latest jw friends
uncircumsized penises looked gross
i have to agree, both my boys were circumsized in the hospital. It is more sanitary. Insurance comapanies several years ago started telling people how "more natural "it was not to do this b/c they wanted to save money. If u have a boy, he'll be grateful to u get him circumsized. This is one jewish idea that is not bad.
Stinkypanz,i don't know you except for the threads you have written or answered,but i think i am a good judge of personality.You are very wise in youre young age and know you will be a great mom.The best advice i can think of is ,don't get to much advice,it will drive you crazy.When i was pregnant with my first i read every magazine ,talked to everyone that had a baby.All advice (all different) kept going through my head and i wanted to be the perfect mom, no mistakes.I became so depressed and working so hard to do what everyone told me to do.Then i got smart, i tried thing's my way, if they didn't work then i would ask for advice.You will make mistakes,but youre baby will live through it and so will you.Never feel guilty if you want to breastfeed and something goes wrong,formula is just fine.Bottom line,,some info. is good to much is to hard.You will learn from youre baby what is right and wrong just by his personality. kathymother of 4
I got my first grandson about three months ago, and I was wringing my hands and walking a circular hole in the carpet over that circumcision thing. However, when they got it done, my daughter said they had some new-fangled way of doing it and that he didn't even wake up when they did it. I was really sweating that and was so relieved when my daughter told me how it went.
You got good advice above about how busy you'll be, especially trying to move and finish a degree at the same time. You have no idea how much one baby can change your life. For instance, if you need to go to the corner store for a loaf of bread and you've got to take the baby, you have to pack up like you're moving to Seattle. You might want to consider the timing thingy.
You have resolved the car wreck impasse stuff yet?
francois
I got my first grandson about three months ago, and I was wringing my hands and walking a circular hole in the carpet over that circumcision thing. However, when they got it done, my daughter said they had some new-fangled way of doing it and that he didn't even wake up when they did it. I was really sweating that and was so relieved when my daughter told me how it went.
You got good advice above about how busy you'll be, especially trying to move and finish a degree at the same time. You have no idea how much one baby can change your life. For instance, if you need to go to the corner store for a loaf of bread and you've got to take the baby, you have to pack up like you're moving to Seattle. You might want to consider the timing thingy.
You have resolved the car wreck impasse stuff yet?
francois
Just wanted to throw my 2 cents in to say that uncircumsized members are NOT gross. In fact I have heard that when they are circumsized they lose some sensitivity. All it really does take is a little soap and water and they are just as fine as any other body part.
Spice of the not telling why I think how I do
PS---good luck on everything and give me a hollar when you get to FL.
Hey, SP,
I have to throw in my two cents, because of all the things I have ever done in my life, being a mother is what I do best! You have been given some great advice, prenatal vitamins, plenty of rest, healthy nutrition, etc. I would watch how much juice you drink, though, only because of the amount of sugar. It's really best to just eat the fruit. I had gestational diabetes, and my doctor told me a lot of people are unaware that juice contains so much sugar.
From my perspective, part of what is sometimes difficult is the rose colored glasses some people want you to look through. Breastfeeding, while being the best thing for your baby is HARD AT FIRST! That said, it is probably the best thing I ever did. I never felt anything sexual, I think there is something in your head that just turns that off. It really helped me bond with my son, saved me a TON of money on formula, and for the entire year that I breastfed him, he didn't get sick one single time. The first month and a half was hard, because it hurt. Not everyone has that experience, some women must have sturdier nipples than mine
Also, take into account the money you will spend on child care. Where I live, the average cost varies from $145 to $185 per week for a licensed center. You may want to start to investigate now. Also, BEFORE you get pregnant and hormones start to rage, write down how you and hubby plan to share responsibilities. One of my biggest mistakes was doing everything at the beginning, because I was so involved with being a mommy, and now my husband is used to it, and doesn't do his full share. I accept part of the blame for that, because I would not let him do it at first. I was surprised at how tired I was the first few months of pregnancy, so you may want to try to have as few classes as possible just to get enough rest.
I would love to talk off line about this, one of my favorite topics, if you are interested, drop me a personal message and I'll give you my phone number. No obligation, just an offer.
Good luck, you are in for the biggest joy of your life.
Happyout
Stinkypantz,
I, too, think you should consider the timing, but you're a big girl now, so here's my opinion on the rest as well:
Natural over anesthesizing. I had three very different pregnancies, but was able to manage the pain for all three. I attribute that to the Lamaze classes we took (had to drag my husband kicking and screaming, but it worked!!!). I agree, however, that you shouldn't feel you have to be a hero -- if your pain threshold is lower than that calm lady in the birthing room across the hall, go for comfort by all means!
The folic acid thing is important. And vitamins for the baby post-partum, too. If iron tablets make you constipated, you hate liver/red meat and you don't have a cholesterol problem, egg yolks are a good source of iron. Eat 4 eggs/week and lots of greens (they have iron AND folic acid).
I read somewhere that a son should only be circumcized if Dad is, since Dad's his model of a man. My husband isn't ("Are we Jewish?!!!" he asked when our son was born. LOL) and so my son isn't, either. Neither has ever had a urinary tract infection (married 24 yrs). And LOL @ hoodies vs. turtles!!!! No circumcision.
Breastfeeding definitely. The sensation is NOT sexual, so no need for the yuckies. As you will read, putting baby to the breast helps the uterus regain its unpregnant state more rapidly and provides your infant with colostrum. In addition, to providing antibody protection, it furnishes the best source of nourishment for your child, is more convenient and less expensive than bottle feeding, and won't trouble your baby with possible food allergies. Spicy food, however, gets into the milk, as does alcohol. The negatives about breastfeeding are saggier breasts (nice and comfy soft, though), leakage (as Nina mentioned above), and how sore they get when the milk first comes in for several days until you and the baby settle into a synchronized supply and demand routine. This is when many mothers give up on the idea. They needn't. The nipples don't stay sore forever (really). If you feel strongly that Dad needs to participate in feeding your child, Dad can give a 4-ounce bottle once daily. This makes Dad feel included and gets the baby used to bottle-feeding (the sucking is different) in case of an emergency or the blessed relief of being able to go off on your own (or even on a date!!!) for a few hours.
Hmmmmm. What were the questions?
Cocoa butter for the thighs and stomach, yes, and those "muslin squares" that Angharad mentioned could just be cloth diapers, but pre-washed, so they're softer.
I liked the battery-operated baby swing, as did my kids...
OH! I know. While I did sometimes nap with my babies, I don't think I'd ever come out advocating sleeping with them regularly. Instead, use a bassinet in your bedroom to keep baby close enough to oversee those first few months when you're anxious, and then a baby monitor after s/he is put in the nursery. Please read and heed what you read about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and keep your baby lying on its side or back when putting him/her down to sleep. There are even bolsters you can buy to prevent them rolling onto their stomachs.
And yeah, if you think it will make you nervous, don't listen to myriad delivery stories. Women love to hear 'em, but it's kinda scary for a newbie if she's the type who will fret and fear all possible difficult outcomes.
Best wishes to the Stinkys!
outnfree
It hurts. Everyone said "Oh you'll forget it." I spent the next nine months beggin my doc to PLEASE give me medicine to stop the pain of when I gave birth. Most people I talked to said "Oh.. you'll forget it when your little baby is there." I went into labor and went to the hospital. It was the most horrendous pain that I ever had in my whole life, and I never wanted to go through that again. Ever. Childbirthing is the most amazing thing you ever went through: your body just kind of takes over, and forget YOU and your pain, and the baby is just BORN without any help from you. Your body just does it all automatically. However, it hurts like you wouldn't believe, and I just wanted to be DEAD rather than experience the pain again. That's my take on it. I hated it, and I'd never go through it again if anybody PAID me. It sucks! I remember every single pain that I had.. how bad it was.
Country Girl
There's no right time to have a baby. Some circumstances may make it better, but I say go for it if that's what you want. Just be aware that once the baby's there, you will have a constant companion, and won't have much time t yourself.
It's great that you're reading "What to expect when you're expecting".That book was like a bible to me when I was pregnant.
Breastfeeding....great if you can do it. I breastfed all three of my boys, and it was wonderful experience.
Circumcision....whatever you decide is fine. I decided not to have my boys circumcised. I couldn't bear the thought of my babies going through that pain for no real reason. The fact that they wouldn't remember it had no bearing on my decision..I knew that I'd remember it! My husband is circumcised, and my kids haven't even noticed. I asked my 14 year old if he feels different, and he said not at all. He just shrugged his shoulders and said "It doesn't matter at all...what difference would it make". And contrary to popular opinion, it's not hard at all for them to keep clean.
Congrats are in order! It will be the best decision you ever made. Kids are the best!!!
LDH-
Thanks for the list. I had no idea what Swaddlers were and I really like how they sound, but I fear they are expensive. The water dispenser is a good idea too.
Breal-
Thanks for the link.
Azalo-
Very good idea! Much of my family will not be living in the same state as I will so that is a great idea! I wouldn't have thought of that, thank you.
And what's wrong w/the avatar. . maybe I should change it. . .
Hippikon-
Why? That's not as much fun as some others. . .
Hamas-
Well thanks for posting anyway I guess.
Angharad-
You are the first to bring up stretch marks, thanks, I will be using cream. I looked up 'muslin squares' and they look like our cloth diapers, I'm sure I'll be needing a ton of those.
Dansk-
Thank you for your comment. That is exactly how I feel about timing. It seems as if there's never a perfect time to have a baby, but all I can say is that it feels right now. I will be taking a year off from school to gain residency in Florida, so I think that'll take some pressure off me for my first pregnancy.
Kelpie-
Congratualtions. . we need to talk later. .
Shera-
Thanks for the advice, I've never heard the not eating and drinking at the same time before. I'll definitely keep that in mind.
Mrs. Shakita-
Comments like yours just make me want a baby right now! I can tell that motherhood has been a fulfilling experience for you. Thanks for the advice too.
Gumby-
After reading so many replies about circumcision, I'm starting to lean towards not doing it, bI just don't know. . .
Cruzan-
I almost bought the Girlfriend's guide. I probably still will. I love to read anyway, so at least I'll be educating myself.
I think I'll be getting an epidural most likely. I apparently don't have the proper pain threshold that other women have. I almost cried when I got my ear pierced.
Thanks for mentioning the breast pad thing, gotta remember that.
Ashitaka-
Bitching at my husband works now, so it'll work later I'm sure. Oh and I promise to treat my baby like the perfect little angel it will always be.
Wednesday-
I don't think uncut penises look too bad, but I realize that some women do. I don't want my son having sexual problem with girls when he gets older (because of it). Most women don't mind a cut penis, but I've found that some American women think an uncut one is not ideal. I guess we'll see.
kls-
You sound just like me! I am a planner and I plan on everything going perfectly, so I'm asking advice and reading all I can; but I guess I should be careful. I have been known to overdo things. Thanks for the advice, you're great.
Francois-
That sounds interesting. My husband's primary problem with circumsicion is that it may be traumatic and extremely painful to the child; but if they are somehow pain free, he might consider it.
SpiceItUp-
Thanks girl, and I will be getting in contact when I get there.
Happyout-
You're always lookin' out for me.
I didn't know about the juice thing, I'll try not to drink TOO much (I like juice).
As far as sharing housework and such, I'm spoiled. Jon already does everything! He cooks, clean, etc. Honestly he's just about perfect!
We'll talk.
outnfree-
You are the first to mention SIDS and I appreciate that. I had a friend who lost her second-born and it was attributed to SIDS, so it terrifies me. I will be doing plenty of research on this subject.
Country Girl-
You scare me. The actual pain of giving birth is not my concern. I know I'll have to go through it plus your experience was atypical.
bittersweet-
Thanks for sharing your experience with me. Was your husband okay with you not circumcising the boys?
