Keep the meeting going! (even if somebody's dying)

by TimeBandit 80 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  LITS, don't kick yourself. Your husband minimized his own problem and waited to tell you. He set the tone for treating his chest pains as an inconvenience instead of a true emergency.

  As an emergency worker, I have gone into a few churches. The "show" did not need to go on, and most priests/pastors seemed decent enough to make the patient a main concern.
  
  At an emergency at a Kingdom Hall one time, they had moved the sister to the ladies room, you know-further into the Kingdom Hall instead of closer to the door. The men in charge allowed the sisters to deal with us men there to help and went back to the show, until we got her out of the Hall and some brother just had to put his suit jacket over her legs because her skirt rode up a tiny bit on our wheeled stair chair. They were so unhelpful that I made sure he didn't get his suit jacket back after we loaded her into the ambulance. At least someone called 911 for her.
• 

  Landy

  The guy who carried on his talk whilst his wife died was Noble Bowers. He later remarried a sister half his age.

  I wonder if any UK stalwarts remember him. He was absolutely old school.

  ^^^^^^^^^^
  

  One of my earliest memories is of the CO banging the lectern '1975 will soon be here ....'
  
• 

  life is to short

  Thanks on the way out. This religion is totally crazy and living with a active JW just has been making me feel very crazy lately, I do not know why but it has just been really getting to me now. I thought it would get easier the longer I was away but it is always there when he goes to the meetings and out in service even though I don't in the back of my mind I think will he have another heart attack? I know darn well that who ever he is with will let my husband drive himself alone to the hospital.

  It's like every time he leaves I wonder if he will come home, and so much of the time lately he is in such a bad mood when he comes back from being around the JW's. It is just a ton of stress on him.

  Oh well such is life I guess.

  LITS
• 

  Tenacious

  @ OrphanCrow - I was not advocating the domestic abuse of women. Perhaps I should have been clearer for members like you who may need it spelled out.

  The brothers should have told the sister not to attend the meetings or do anything that would make her husband fly off the handle. Advising her to call the police and seek safety away from an abusive husband is completely obvious and goes unsaid.

  I would appreciate that you don't jump to conclusions OC and try reading between the lines before making your stupid assumptions.
  
• 

  OrphanCrow

  Sorry, tenacious, but I stand by my assertion. This approach is wrong:

  "The brothers should have told the sister not to attend the meetings or do anything that would make her husband fly off the handle. "

  This is an approach that places the responsibility of the violent person's actions on the victim. This is not an approach that works. It does NOT work to be compliant.This is a myth that is prevalent in society that needs to be corrected and encouraging this behavior is what keeps the cycles of violence active
• 

  HiddlesWife

  Kind of sidebar, but I'm sure my experience is in conjunction with this topic:

  When my maternal grandmother died in the mid-1990s (she was the main family member who brought us all in the org), my immediate family did not attend meetings during the week that she passed on (we had to travel back and forth to the hospital where she expired; also making funeral arrangements, etc.). What shocked me was that a few brothers and sisters--a couple of elders and their wives were commenting that, "The ___________ Family should come to the meetings anyway". "The funeral arrangements can be taken care of in the a.m. hours", and other similar remarks. When we heard this, we were appalled--how dare they! We just lost a loved one in death, and this is the mindset/mentality they showed to us. These ones have no compassion and certainly no heart!
• 

  Tenacious

  This is an approach that places the responsibility of the violent person's actions on the victim. This is not an approach that works. It does NOT work to be compliant.This is a myth that is prevalent in society that needs to be corrected and encouraging this behavior is what keeps the cycles of violence active

  I agree that by cooperating or continuing to subject yourself to abuse only enables further abuse. Yes, it promotes a vicious cycle. I guess what I meant is for the sister to remain until she is able to free herself from this abusive environment/spouse.

  I apologize for coming off strong at your response. I just don't condone any sort of violence toward women or anyone in general.
  
• 

  corruptgirl

  My grandmother died in the kingdom hall about a decade ago. Before meeting started she was sitting down and literally just closed her eyes and fell sideways. My uncle carried her to the library room and my husband (boyfriend the time) gave her CPR with no success. Ambulance took her and meeting was canceled. The funny thing is that that day, for the first time ever, we saw a few apostates dressed in black in front of the kingdom hall, everyone was talking about it. I'm pretty sure they were scared away by all the commotion and we never saw them again.....
• 

  Theonlyoneleft

  Came across this post and such sad and horrific stories.

  I feel for those that have been in need and didn’t get the unconditional love they deserved.

  I’ve never heard of this happening or was even aware that this could happen.

  Besides the human nature being dislodged it seems to me that most Jws don’t know how to react to these kind of situations. They like to follow like sheep without questioning even if inside feels wrong.

  They seem to be dumbfounded if something out of the ordinary happens.

  Most don’t take stand and just follow their usual way of thinking.

  I was shocked to read this post, didn’t ever think that in precarious situations of life or death that the experiences mentioned here would be actually the norm.
• 

  peacefulpete

  I was working as a waiter when a patron eating alone fell to the floor, he had choked on his steak and told no one the distress he was in. We took turns with Heimlich and then CPR but he died. The rest of the dining room continued to eat and even got angry with me for blocking their way to the salad bar and soda machine. I kinda lost it.

  I think many people slip into denial mode in an emergency.