So, what age are you S&L?
I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please
by scared and lonely 161 Replies latest jw experiences
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scared and lonely
People here are more than willing to extend sympathy and practical advice, but surely you realize how squiggy it looks if you ask for money on your 2nd post?
Yes I do. It was a huge mistake and I regretted it instantly and corrected it. (in fairness it was to share a link not specifically asking for money on this forum , but a stupid thing to do nonetheless.)
The constructive advice and kindness is much more valuable to me and I have expressed gratitude to everybody who has given me great advice,
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Heartsafire
Welcome to the site and your doubts are right about the Borg. I understand your plight of knowing nobody on the outside. My family goes back since my grandparent's grandparent's in the troof. Or wait...maybe earlier than that...anyway, If you must leave do it 100%. Think of all that energy you spent trying to make new JW's and counselling already JW's. Leaving will be much the same way, except you will be making friends and building a network.
If you are to be kicked out, you will need to find food and shelter. Immediately, you need to put together a resume, and find employment. Next, if you are in the USA, find the number to your local food bank and government assistance programs for welfare recipients. If you are in any place in the world including the USA, you can go to a local Catholic Charity and receive food and perhaps shelter and info for other charities. This is just a start.
You must form a network. Try to find other ex-JW's in your area. You can do this with the app "Meetup". You can also do this on this website. Most places in the USA have a community church. Where I live the community church is huge (think lots of $$) and the place to go if you need help. There are many small groups that meet for various reasons at these churches, and you will find tons of people receptive to your story and sympathetic with your plight. I have done this before--just went to some women's groups a few times and met some amazing individuals that are now my good friends. They don't care that I don't attend their group anymore, but we always find time to hang out and help each other.
If you know you have no chance to fade, then these are my suggestions. I am currently fading nicely. Hope this helps!
Edited to say: Each state in the USA has its own sort of welfare. And trust me, some states are better than others. If you are planning on moving, I would look into finding a state that has plenty of jobs (a bustling economy) as well as excellent welfare programs.
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James Mixon
I slept in my car a few nights before I was able to get on my feet. I had family members
who were not JW, ask me to stay with them until I got on my feet. I lived in motels, worked
two jobs. As long as I have my health and single, I can do this. Divorced, lost my kids (to borg),
devastated. My health failed, where do I go from here. After two or three years I gain control
of my PTSD, extreme anxiety disorder and alcohol dependence, I got full custody of my 12 year old
son and my oldest son and his family left the borg. Looking back it wasn't easy but the experience
I wouldn't trade it for any thing.
Get out there and take a hold of life my friend, it can be beautiful.
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Bonsai
Welcome. a lot of us have left suddenly and it has left us in financially dire straits. The end didn't come so now we have to wipe our own asses and deal with real life problems. It can be overwhelming at times, but things get better. What caused you to leave so suddenly? Seems like you are entirely dependent on the organization. It must have been something traumatizing. Really interested to hear more details.
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Giordano
There are plenty on here who will help. Your envelope at the top of the page should be lite up as I sent you a Private Message.
Nathan you went way over the top that was a mean spirited and offensive rant. I'm reading a guy who sounds like many others on here when they first arrive............ he's in a panic.
Ok Scared and Lonely that link doesn't work any more so don't worry about that.
Let's move on.
Some basic info would help like how old you are just say your in your 20's or 30's etc. Live with parents or other family members?
Any work experience? I see you mentioned Office cleaning was this part or full time? Can you live on what you make?
Do you live in the USA or another country?
Besides English do you have any other language?
Your education: did you finish school (High School here in the States).
Are you conducting a job search?
Can you drive a car and do you own one.
Any hobbies that could be used in a job.
Give us a better picture but don't add anything that would identify you.
Can or would you go to another Congregation and start a slow fade
there?
What opened your eyes about the 'truth'? Did you question too many things. Or can you dummy up and stay under the radar.
Has this affected your health? Anxiety or depression?
If you don't want to expose your self from certain negative comments you can click on my little karate kid and send me or anyone else a private Email
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Heartsafire
Scared,
I should tell you that I have been homeless before. Living on the streets is not easy. Avoid getting sucked into groups of people who may use you or drag you down such as drug addicts, etc. Find successful people, and ask them for help. There are other groups out there besides religious organizations, but those are the ones I found most helpful (besides the welfare programs) in helping me get out of poverty.
Also, JW's love to pull all support from df'd ones. They think the hardships they cause in people's lives will be God's doing. They rejoice when people who leave suffer. It is a cultish ploy to get you to return to the fold. Don't give them the satisfaction. The best revenge is to live a good life. Plus, screw revenge, just live a good life period!
You can do this. Many people have. You are more than a suit and pamphlet passing robot. You are smart enough to realize ttatt, and brave enough to express your doubts to elders, so I think you will do well on your own.
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Acts5v29
Good evening scared and lonely,
Firstly accept my sincere concern and best wishes for you in the brave and difficult decision you have taken.
Speaking with people here, you're likely feeling a separation between the brothers whom you are afraid will reject you, and the people here who are empathetic - the two just don't mix do they, so it will take a deep breath before you leave. It is all too easy to leave with anger or a rejection of the Bible, much harder to leave with your own character intact - but you can do it. When we feel the normality, we realise it is different from what we're used to - so different that, we imagine, the warnings that it is wrong resonate feverishly - but don't worry: you've found clear air to breathe.
Advice? talk to people here who you feel comfortable with - they'll feel simply grateful to talk to you! - and let that normality feel safe rather than something to fear. If you still believe in God and see Him as separate from the watchtower - if you still have the heart for Him - don't be afraid to talk to Him; love of God is more than just beliefs.
sincerely,
Acts5v29
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Crazyguy
Go back tell them you we're having some issues but through pray you have had them resolved. Never admit to being on any apostate sites. After your back in start preparing your self for a new life out side of the cult. Then when your prepared better start fading away. -
SonoftheTrinity
Well if you are afraid of being left all alone and aren't afraid of a similarly I intense Abrahamic religion, you could convert to Islam. I say this not as a believer, but as a truly jaded individual who happens to know that you get paid money when you convert to offset the consequences of being disfellowshiped by the community that you left behind. I know of no other religion that is similarly generous.