For a guy who is an ALLEGEDLY desperate situation, scared and lonely, you seem to have no trouble falling back on your high and mighty Elder's attitude. Is this a reflex over which you have no control?
Like others here, I suspect you are a TROLL - a façade constructed by someone who has been here longer than you claim to be, with a tear-jerking sob-story that you built for your own amusement so you can stroke your ego about what fools these apostates be.
You will find apostate fools here, indeed, who will wring their hands and rend their outer garments in torment over the story you've constructed. Enjoy their company. You will probably find that when it comes down to the bottom line, your hand-wringing "friends" will suddenly find themselves "a bit short of cash" on a permanent basis.
You're unaccustomed to being talked back to, aren't you, Elder-Boy? You are one of the Watchtower's " great and shining ones," aren't you, Brother Failure? Fall on your knees and ask for Jehovah's Magic Spirit, you phony!
Reality can be a Harsh Mistress.