Try taking Jesus at his word. Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father. That is all we need.” Jesus replied: "Philip, I have been with you for a long time. Don't you know who I am? If you have seen me, you have seen the Father."
John 14:8,9 Contemporary English Version
I really would like the Christians on the forum to engage here. Doesn't it bother you that Jesus aligns himself with the child killing God of the Old Testament/Hebrew Scriptures?The moral gymnastics you have to perform to maintain your view of Jesus as the 'Good Shepherd' surely betray an unwillingness to see the obvious for what it is.
Don't forget I've been where you are, most of us here have.