Cofty I have read many books promoting chance evolution that one chap wanted me to read. I remember all the arguments about apes evolved into humans and I read the books and I’ve listened to countless podcasts and interviews by so called experts. I definitely look at both sides.
As I’ve said I’m agnostic which means I’m open to the possibility that the universe started by chance. But as far as I can see there still is no undeniable proof of this. The missing link still has not been found but if it ever is then I will not be agnostic anymore as now there would be proof. Any so called proof people like you present can be debunked.
Its just the same with intelligence as the origin of the universe. All the so called proof presented could be argued against.
At the end of the day people believe what they want to believe it’s very hard to remain objective.
I suspect if you are really honest with yourself you would say yes it’s true I tend to lean towards believing what I want to believe. If you were absolutely honest you would realise cognitive dissidence does make you think you have found proof of chance as the start when it’s not accurate