Former Elders Please - Disbeliever recently married to a JW (page 2)

peacefulpete

No two ways about it, it will complicate your relationship. Be a good husband and your behavior will belie the narrative about "worldly" men. She must already recognize this but it may take a while to fully penetrate. It may never. In fact I've seen cases where the JW pursues the church activity as a penance. Do you wish to participate in the holidays with your family? Do you want to share religious and political opinions or discuss science? Movies and TV? I wonder what your dates were like if topics like this were openly discussed.

Vidiot

How the hell does a JW loyalist maintain a close thirty-year friendship with a “worldly” person?

doasthouwilt

punkofnice - absolutely, I do have a list of questions that are potentially quite challenging and perplexing but not from this site that I recall, I'll have a look. Thanks!

I'm glad to say that she does not attempt to tell me about it or convince me to join - in all of our 32 years of being close, she never has, not once. She does sometimes talk about why she believes it as I sometimes ask her about it - if I ask, she'll tell (but make no compelling arguments, to me, at least). She has told me that some of her friends certainly will try and to brace for it - I don't doubt it, but anyone will quickly realize that I'm not interested in answers, not because I have them myself, but because I don't require them. To quote, "The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine" - sums up my philosophy well and it's been unshakable, thanks entirely to a christian upbringing which led me to excuse all such things forever, gleefully. My wife once said "That's probably because you're not 'called' . . . not all are" and I liked that idea very much. If it came to it and I was being pressured by a friend or friends of hers, that is likely part of what I would say in response.

punkofnice

wilty - here is a thread

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/83770/questions-no-jw-has-answered

but be careful what you ask. They will smell a rat

I do have a list of questions that are potentially quite challenging

Why not ask them here and we can tell you what a JW will likely say. This to prepare you for conversation stoppers.

no-zombie

As a past Elder, I can tell you most definitely that her treatment by a body of Elders will vary between congregations. A judicial committee will be formed, as pornia has been committed, but one of the prime issues will be whether or not this occurred while your wife was a active witness or an inactive one. This is were some variance in judgment will occur. If your wife was inactive, then the committee might think of it as something done in the 'World' and just accept your wife back as a lost sheep needing help. Conversely, if your wife was going to meetings, had sex with you and then married you, it could be viewed as some kind of scheming. We had a case like the first one ... and it written was off as a done deal, with some minor restrictions to congregation participation. However, there are just too many factors and personalities a play. But I'd say overall women get lessor punishments that men in these situations, but be warned as the judicial meetings can be rough if the committee members want to know all the juicy details.

However in no time soon, she'll be in and love bombed to death.

Riley

I have become downright hostile towards the Elders. I find that is the best way to keep them away from me and not minding their own business.

I say stuff like when I see them.

" Hey, what is understanding of the faithful slave this week ?".

" Did a wizard have a vision ? "

" You guys preparing for the mockery of Christ ? ".

The only power they have is what you give them. Fuck em. Don't worry about them at all.

doasthouwilt

peacefulpete - "Be a good husband and your behavior will belie the narrative about "worldly" men" . . . that has been precisely the case, she does have to rethink when I show love and care and genuine goodness, which I do as much as is possible - there are times when I don't of course, but they are far and few. In fact, we were texting last night and she had this to say, "I am glad that you are concerned with her welfare. Really I am. It's one of the things that I love most about you. You care about who you care about no matter. You are such a good person" (this is not to brag in any sort of way, of course), contrariwise, I let all my thoughts of disdain about christian religions, and specifically hers, go wild on one occasion early last year, I was purposely offensive as could be about it - I wanted her to know my true feelings, at that point she said, "You know, the more you do things like THAT the more certain I'm going to be that they're RIGHT". I've largely refrained from that sort of outburst since. I still have intense things to say about it occasionally - intense, but not vulgar, which I no doubt was that once.

Actually, yes I do observe holidays with my family. In fact, my wife was along recently to re-meet (it's been AGES since she saw her) my sister who lives far away, it also happened to be my sis's birthday - everyone knows my wife doesn't 'celebrate' birthdays and so didn't expect her to exclaim "Happy Birthday!" or bring a card or gift. It was understood that she doesn't celebrate it but we do, so her mood is not one of celebration - that was fine with all of us. We had a very nice time.

We do talk politics quite a lot - she is more interested in it than I am. She doesn't vote but surely has strong feelings about the political realities, she watches lots of political segments. Our political views are largely the same.

We tend to watch movies every other night at least, movies of all sorts. Also binge watching series is common.

We have never been at a shortage of things to talk about - religion is the one topic that doesn't come up much.

Former Elders Please - Disbeliever recently married to a JW

peacefulpete

Vidiot

doasthouwilt

punkofnice

no-zombie

Riley

doasthouwilt

peacefulpete

doasthouwilt

stan livedeath

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