Ever been to a therapist?

teejay

Sorry if the title came across as a "Minimus question," but after posting to one of Joelbear's threads, I thought of my experience with therapists.

All together, I've spent between 20 and 30 hours in counseling on two separate occassions and, I'm happy to say, both of the counselors and both of the experiences remain very good memories. I found out early on that for them to do their job, you had to be bluntly honest so that's what I did. I also found out early on a very interesting secret about effective counseling and what made the two I've seen so good: if you're honest with them and, more importantly with yourself, not always but often YOU YOURSELF will blurt out the answer to your problem -- and man! What a beautiful thing when that happens!

Sometimes 'the answer' happens during the hour you're there in the office. Other times the epiphany comes while you think about what you and the counselor talked about. Whenever it happens, loads are lifted, the sun gets just a bit brighter, a warmth overcomes. A feeling of well-being that is as close to 'god' as I've ever had. Let me share with you one of my epiphanies...

I was there to get marriage counseling – to see how my JW wife and I could reach common ground and have a semblance of a happy marriage. It was the first time I'd seen Rachel. It was at her house on a lake. Fabulous house.

Anyway, half-way through that first session I had to "come clean." I said, "Look, Rachel... let me explain something...." For the next ten minutes I gave her my bio, most of it surrounding my life as a Dub. Rachel listened, took notes and when I finished, simply said: "Todd, you were a believer."

I never, in all my born days, looked at myself THAT way until that moment. It opened doors in my mind and cleared cobwebs like you wouldn't believe. Those four words. "You were a believer."

Goshawk

Oh yeah,

Some of the hardest work that I have ever done has been in such an office.
Came away from the experience with a better understanding of myself and learned a new set of survival skills to live in the real world.

Goshawk

RAYZORBLADE

Yes.

It was the best thing I ever did.

Having a non-JW perspective and objectivity that I could not possess at the time.

Best thing I ever did, and I would highly recommend it to anyone if they are considering it.

teejay

Some of the hardest work that I have ever done has been in such an office. Came away from the experience with a better understanding of myself and learned a new set of survival skills to live in the real world. – Goshawk

Best thing I ever did, and I would highly recommend it to anyone if they are considering it. – RAYZORBLADE

I couldn't agree more. The objectivity from a total stranger who's been trained and has the experience of having seen many of the problems you have is, for the lack of a better term, nothing less than a godsend.

Still, there is a stigma that comes with going to see a "shrink." Dubs and non-Dubs have it. Seeing a doctor says that something is wrong with me. About that, I think this: I was told since I was a little boy that The End was coming; that the devil was behind every single thing I saw; that every person, no matter how good-hearted, was "out to get me" and was gonna die soon at Armageddon; even my friends at the Hall were potentially bad associates. Etc, etc, etc. Anybody living through all of that bullshit NEEDS some help getting their mind right.

That's the way I look at it, anyway.

gcc2k

Were you able to work out the marriage?

teejay

Gcc2k,

No. Not that one. And this one is still a work in progress – far from guaranteed going the distance.

It's funny. In my first marriage (13 years), I was pretty much a JW prick. A believer. Very much black or white in my thinking. That wife and I would get along much better now that I've gotten a clue. See... she wasn't much of a witness. Not really. She'd been raised from birth by a self-righteous elder and equally pious regpio mother. So, she was pretty much fed up with the JW bs although she believed a lot of it.

This wife backslides in her own way but is much more of a believer than #1 at the same time that I'm less of a JW than I've ever been. What I'm saying is, the person I was then would make this wife a better husband; and the person I am now would have made #1 a better husband.

Ain't life funny?

Brummie

: if you're honest with them and, more importantly with yourself, not always but often YOU YOURSELF will blurt out the answer to your problem

I have found this to be the case 99% of the time. The therapist offers a safe environment in which the client can express and explore their feelings, if the therapist offers congruence, is none judgemental and is genuine, the empathic process will cause the client to self discover where by they will naturally find what it is that is causing the disturbance in their lives. It sounds simple, but it is very successful. None directive therapy does not rely on an external solution but on a fresh internal evaluation and exploration.

I'm glad you all have had positive experiences. For every 1 bad experience I hear 9 successes.

Brummie

cruzanheart

Yes. Went yesterday. I wouldn't have made it through the last year without therapy, both from Big Tex and my licensed therapist. It is a safe haven, and it's a blessing to talk to someone who is totally objective. Sometimes just hearing myself talk about stuff helps me figure it out, and more often than not the doctor gives me something to think about, or gently leads me in a direction I wouldn't have thought to go. Big Tex is excellent for helping me get my feelings out and letting me yell into a pillow if I need to, or cry hysterically for an hour. The right therapist can make all the difference.

Nina

unique1

Yep, within the last year. It helped me immensely. I remember when I told him that I would be excommunicated and my parents wouldn't speak to me if I disagreed openly about my parents religion. He about fell out of his chair. That was when I realized this religion was really screwed up.

SheilaM

Oh Gosh yes, Thunder and I have both gone usually together. He is like you Teejay always very black and white and he sees not colors of gray. IT takes some major analogies and what-ifs for him to see anything different we have had a few good therapists and I have had one horrible one.

Ever been to a therapist?

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