Still as lost and confused as ever..

by berylblue 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Big Tex

  Rosemarie

  I'm glad to see you again.

  but what if she's RIGHT?

  I understand what you're feeling. After I stopped going to meetings, Nina continued for 14 years. For years (and years) afterward I questioned myself just as you're doing. For a couple of years, I bought into their guilt. I was convinced Jehovah hated me. I would pray and apologize for being bad. I told him it was okay if he destroyed me and that I understood (since I was such a bad guy).

  But then one day it hit me. I was tired of carrying all that weight of guilt mixed with anger/hatred turned inward. It was heavy. So I made a very scary decision. I prayed to God and told him just this and I literally handed it to him. I visualized it as a bag of weights and I gave it to him. When I had the courage to look up I saw his face and he was smiling very gently and very kindly. At that moment, I understood he did care about me. He knew who I was and what I had gone through. And it was all okay.

  And that is what faith is all about. You ask a very good question. What if they're right? Fine. But what if they're wrong? It works both ways. This is the very essence of what Christianity is about. At some point, you must make a decision and choose and when you choose you will take a leap of faith. And when you make that leap, you must trust that you will be caught.

  Let go of your fears. You have a lot of anger and sadness that is turned inward. That is keeping you from seeing what you need to see. Talk to God. Tell him what you're feeling. If you're angry at him, tell him.

  If I were God, know that I would reach out to you tenderly and hold you and tell you it's okay. I would tell you, that you are doing just fine. And I would tell you not to worry. Everything is all right.

  If I, a very flawed human male feels that way, then I have to believe that a Power greater than us would feel likewise.

  Be well.

  Chris
• 

  WildHorses

  Hi Rosemarie,

  Hun, you are going to have second thoughts for a long time to come. It took me a year to get over my doubts that it wasn't the truth and I was only a baptised member for three years. Half of that I was a jw slacker.

  Just keep researching their history and all the flip flops they've made. You will soon be over any doubts you have.

  As you can see, there are many many people here willing to help you and give you all the support you need and it is not conditional either. Even if you decide to go back, we will still be here for you if/when you need us.

  ((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))
• 

  Prisca

  ((((((((berylblue))))))))

  Ditto what Big Tex said. Do you really think that the JWs are the only ones who could have God's approval? Are you not worthy of being loved and cherished by Him? If we, relative strangers who have never met you, care about you, how much more must God?

  Once I learnt that the GB were not divinely appointed, and that the JWs did not have "the truth", I lost all fear about Armageddon and dying. I've left things in God's hands. I just live my life as best as I can, and leave the rest to God. As the saying goes, Let Go, Let God.
• 

  shamus

  Hi,

  Please listen to me... You need to really find what makes you happy. Find out the facts for yourself, and make the decision based on what you believe. You will most probably find that JW's are dead wrong in every aspect. How god could want so much from us, and make an organisation that makes us feel so bad is completely beyond me.

  Think about this; your "friend" is not much of a friend at all... she has condemed you, and basically told you that you're dead. She has no right to talk down to you as a pharisee would. She does have no love for you... she is glad that she can treat you that way, or she would be sad instead of angry. She has no love for you whatsoever. Remember, true christians have love for one another. Even people whom are disfellowshipped we are supposed to love, even our ENEMIES. They are nothing more than pharisees, happy at your pain, and happy that they can now talk to you that way.

  My advice? Read some material, check out CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE where Rayond Franz was disfellowshipped, tried to appeal THREE TIMES, and the society would not even answer his letters.

  Would Job go through all this? Think about it; he suffered only for a short time, with his pain and sorrow. Why would God make you go through 50 times that??? Not only that, that is why we are imperfect. If we were perfect like JW's, they would not need Jesus Sacrifice.

  "By their works", you will know they are my disciples. Would Jesus Christ treat you like that?????

  Ask questions, real questions about what the hell they are doing to you, compare it with Jesus, who ate with tax collectors, Pharisees, prostitutes against JW's who self-rightcheously condem you to death all b/c of your 'shortcomings'.

  Don't let their horrid mind control drag you back in. Let your mind set you straight.. not your emotions.

  Shamus.

  P.S. If you're still around here in 2 years, I will be happy to call you a friend. Worldy people are so horrible..... yeah RIGHT! They're 100X better than any dumb witness, who will drop you like a hot potatoe in a second when you become bad assosiation. How do you get to be bad assosiation? From listening to "bad" music to not puting enough time in field service, whatever. DON'T BELIEVE THEIR LIES. LET YOUR MIND SET YOU FREE.
• 

  Cicatrix

  This IS Jehovah's organization....

  Forgive me all for using the same quote in two threads today, but the above oft quoted adage just INFURIATES me!!!!

  From the Watchtower of 1895 page 216:

  "Beware of 'organization'. It is wholly un-necessary. The Bible will be the only rules you need. Do not seek to bind others consciences and do not permit others to bind yours. Believe and obey so far as you can understand God's Word today and so continue to grow in grace and knowledge day by day."

  I found this on the net-an actual scan of a WT back when I first wearied of being tortured by human beings who masquarade as "loving" Christians. I wrote the quote in a notebook I keep close at hand, so I can think about that article and compare it to the large, controlling organisation that has ruined so many lives. Unfortunately, being new at research, I didn't save the URL.

  Berylblue, by the dictates of their own founders, this organization, by its very act of BEING an organization has rendered itself moot!!!! If they followed their own advice to obey the "Faithful and Discreet Slave" TM, they have technically apostacized from the "Truth"TM by organizing in the first place.

  That is, if they didn't practice the little deception of revisionist history!!!

  Sweetie, I just received a letter this week from a friend who I was once very close to. She doesn't know that I no longer am one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and carried on in her letter just like the old times.

  I know the shock and the doubt that flashes through your mind when someone from what used to be your whole universe speaks so authoritatively about what you "should" and "shouldn't" believe to be saved. Her letter, in fact, induced nightmares so bad, I couldn't sleep at all last night. So guess what, I came back here after being away awhile, too.

  Do some research in the archives on the definition of cults and high control religions. Print it out and post it somewhere as a reminder. That Armageddon threat they love to hurl at you like some kind of magical curse is just another control tactic to induce guilt and make you hook yourself back up to their little puppet strings! Look it up on the cult web sites-it's a well known tactic.

  Who are they to say if God has removed his love and blessings from you anyway. The Bible they so love to quote says that there is no mediator between man and God except Christ!!

  Hugs,

  Cicatrix
• 

  sf

  Beryl, you seem like a sweetheart, and I hate to be a hardass.... but there is just no excuse for living life another moment questioning like that. Not with this forum, not with the internet. What specifically do you question she might be RIGHT about? Research that. Hell, don't research it, just post the question and people here will drop tons of research on you.

  I concur here.

  Beryl,

  I just put you on my yahoo friends list. I'll pm ya soon and you can look at my profile there for further sites that delve deep into Watchtower's corruption. Much, much more too. Plus, the room that is set up there acts as a great support network. Stop in sometime.

  And READ, READ, READ!! The more that you discover and uncover, the more you will not believe your eyes and the reactions that you WILL endure, will sweep over you fast and furious. Yet, also, the more you discover that is not truth about this organization, the hope is that COMMON SENSE will prevail!!

  Happy trails!! I mean that. And please come into the yahoo exjw/ jw room whenever you feel a need for support or just a soft place to fall.

  sKally