Feeling Pretty Bad (page 2)

Robdar

((((((((Rebel))))))))

Differences of religion is one of the reasons that I am going through a divorce right now. My soon to be ex converted to Russian Orthodox a couple of years ago and although I let him belive what he wants, he would not return the favor.

Not long before he left, we had a discussion/argument about the "ransom sacrifice" and original sin. My views about Jesus are not what most organized religions accept as true. My husband got all upset and wouldn't speak to me. I am absolutely certain that he spoke to the priest about me. This was the problem that topped all our other problems and I just don't get it. He used to be a free-wheeling, wicca practicing pagan then out of the blue got Jesus. And in a big way too.

But, this thread is about you. I just wanted you to know that what is happening is not exclusive to JWs. Because I know the confusion and pain that you are feeling, I wanted to encourage you to not give in and back to the KH just to make your husband happy. What is going on here is more than it appears to be. If you lose your husband over differences of doctrine, what sort of man is he anyway?

Get yourself to a therapist. Get on anti-depressants, if need be. Talk to us on the board because you are not alone. We care for you very much. If your husband does decide to leave, good riddance. I am not trying to be uncaring when I tell you that it could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Yes, it will take some time to recover, but recover you will and be a stronger, even better, person for it.

I want you to call me anytime, day or night, if you need to cry or vent. It will be no bother to me if you do. I am strong and can help support you during this emotional time.

THIS TOO, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS, WILL PASS. You may one day look back and be glad and grateful.

I love ya, and have sent you my number via private email.

Robyn

calamityjane

((((((((rebel)))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry to hear of this. I hate what this cult does to families.

love

cj

hillary_step

Rebel,

I am very sorry to hear of this situation.

I am going to recommend a wildcard here that I know worked for somebody who was in a similar scenario. If the situation seems to be irreversible and your own attempts at salvaging the marriage have failed, I would prepare a letter that honestly speaks from the heart outlining your sad feelings and send it to your local Branch marked "Urgent". Remember, do your research and make sure that the scripture, "Jehovah hates a divorcing" is peppered liberally throughout our letter. Ask whether they believe that Jehovah would condone the breakup of a marriage, with the subsequent effect on your children on these sort of grounds. The natural reaction of the Branch, not knowing the intricacies of the case would be to refer your letter to your local elders, they do not like to involve themselves in these situations, preferring to place the responsibility on the elders. Before they have an opportunity to do this, make it clear to them that you have appealed to them directly as you know that the elders can only follow their counsel, and that you have come directly to its source for needed comfort. Refrain from bitterness, personal attack and point-making, try to let your correspondence reflect your sadness and desire to keep the marriage intact.

In the other case where similar advice was given, the Branch wrote a very concerned letter to the local elders who in turn passed this concern to the husband. Once he realized that his actions did not reflect the thinking of the Branch, he very quickly fell into line. In all honesty, the marriage was one in name alone, but it gave everybody the breathing space that hey needed to make choices not dictated by the moments emotion.

I wish you and your family all the best and hope that things settle down for you - HS

Angharad

(((Rebel))))

Sorry your having such a hard time, I hope you find a way to sort through this.

Ghost of Esmeralda

Blondie and Shakita are right. If you haven't given him scriptural grounds for a divorce, he's the one putting himself into a percarious position. According to their own rules he must provide for you and your kids financialy. He's even required to continue providing you with your "marital due" not an easy thing to do, if he were to leave.

Great points guys! This is the first thing I thought of myself, he can't just leave you if you're not demanding he stop going to meetings, etc...if he does, then he is putting his own neck out 'spiritually' so to speak.

I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this, rebel. As others have said, talk about it if you need to, we may not always even know what to say, but we will listen!!!

hugs...

essie

riz

((((((((rebel))))))))

I'm so sorry. I'll never understand how people can put their devotion to an imaginary friend ahead of their love for a real, tangible member of their own family.

asleif_dufansdottir

Come on, you guys...she may not have given him "scriptural grounds" for divorce, but when did that ever stop a JW?

Despite the fact that the stereotype JW wife married to an unbelieving husband who 'can't' divorce, I've heard many times of JWs managing to divorce "opposing" spouses. Especially since she's the wife and he's the husband. Especially since she has "left the truth", which is much more 'spiritually dangerous' than simply someone who was never a JW.

Call me cynical, but I don't doubt for one minute he could divorce her and marry a good little JW wife - even though that goes directly against what they say they believe!

neverthere

((((((((((((((((Rebel)))))))))))))))))))

Not much I can say but hang in there, feel free to lean on us for support and I pray all will work out for you!!!!!!!!!!

Diana

nilfun

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. (((((Rebel))))) Come here and vent when you feel the need. Though I am often at a loss for words, I'll be sending warm thoughts and big hugs your way..

Come on, you guys...she may not have given him "scriptural grounds" for divorce, but when did that ever stop a JW?

Unfortunately, I have heard of JWs getting a JW approved divorce on the grounds of "spiritual endangerment".

aunthill

Rebel, What can I say that others already haven't. This origanization is so, so evil - I can't think of all the adjectives I'd like to use! Remind your husband of 1 Cor. 7: 10 - 17. Even though it is Paul's opinion, that scripture is what kept me with my husband through all the years I was a JW, and the Society used to use it all the time for people with unbelieving spouses, so all the more since the two of you have a history in the organization and there are no scriptural grounds for divorce. (He might figure if he divorces you, you would run off and jump into bed with the first available man, then he would be scripturally free to find another brain-dead JW "sister" to marry. Everybody in the bOrg seems to think that whenever anyone leaves, they can't wait to get into sin.)

I am really sorry for what you are going through, it must be very scary and difficult, but I have to look at his side, too. He is might be feeling betrayed because he figured you would be at his side like a good little JW wife, so this has probably come as a real shock to him. And, he might be trying this scenario to scare you back to the "loving" arms of the brothers and sisters at the Kingdom Hall.

Good Luck.

Feeling Pretty Bad

Share this