Old board member here..an anonymous thread; Depression-a little help please

by aspiration 41 Replies latest jw friends

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  Been there

  You will be strong again............you are just taking a much needed rest. You have used up all your reserves. Things are off kilter. Just as the Leaning Tower of Piza was once straight, it is a little off kilter, it still has a good strong foundation but is in need of a little support because of all the years of holding all those people up.

  The thing about telling someone about a problem is being accountable after that.........Did you call your doctor? You do sound clinically depressed, and yes it can be different symptoms at different times. Please get some medication that will fix the problem and not just cover it up (drinking). I've been where you are and it is a very dark place. You can not be there for your wife whom you love and care for.....where can she go if not to you. You have taken the first step to recovery, the right medication can take you the rest of the way. The longer you think about it or put it off, that is precious time you could be getting back to the old you that everyone loves and misses. I'm sure they have noticed you have not been yourself. You are in a deep dark well looking up, the light is there and there are many hands here reaching down to give you a hand up, just keep talking so we know where you are.

  Healing thoughts going your way. Take care. You are not weak........only human.
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  aspiration

  waiting, kg, bitter, thank you.

  Alan, thanks for the words and your contact info. If I need to, I'll give you a ring.

  been,

  You can not be there for your wife whom you love and care for.....where can she go if not to you.

  You see, this isn't the problem. I actually am more acutely aware of her now. I still function on that level. It's just that when I'm left to myself, I feel lost, gone. When she's around, I can fuction, even laugh. But even if she leaves the room, a strange despair begins. I really only trust her, but I am not the kind of person to keep someone locked up just because I want them there.

  But, you're right on the money here

  the light is there and there are many hands here reaching down to give you a hand up, just keep talking so we know where you are.

  I've seen that today, even with people who didn't know who I really am. It's comforting to know that people have a little more experience than me in matters like this, and that it can me remedied in many different ways.

  The biggest thing I need is someone stronger/wiser than me to take my hand for a bit, just a little while. This would help a lot I think.

  Thanks again everyone.

  asp
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  Billygoat

  aspiration,

  You've made the first courageous step. Realizing there is a problem. Now that we know that, let's fix it. When it comes to depression, it is fixable thing. We just need to find the right tool to use. If you have a loving and supportive wife, you are already passed beyond the first step. She will be key in helping you. Like I said earlier, it's scarier than crap, but let her know what you're struggling with. Not only does it lessen your pain, but it gives her the opportunity to be the "strong one". Sometimes the "strong one" in the family underestimates the power and support of the others in the family unit. Don't make that mistake. (I've done that with Moz myself. Too many times I thought I was the strong one, but too many times he has surprised me by being stronger than I! Give your wife the chance to take the reigns for awhile. I promise it will make your marriage stronger!

  You are loved here dear, whomever you are. I hope you know that! We can help by giving experiences and advice, but you must take the actions on your own.

  Love to you,

  Andi

  Edited for not knowing how to spell Moz.
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  blackout

  Hi Asp,

  I just wanted you to know I read your post, lots of good advice here. I am currently taking zoloft, I have absolutely no side affects and I have completely normal moods now too. Before I took it, I was in that deep dark well, with the numbness and pain and clinginging to my husband as my only source of comfort. It is such a relief to enjoy simple things again, like sunsets and riding my horse and playing with my kids. Before I felt no pleasure in anything.

  I had a nice life no problems no abuse in my past, however I was low in one essential chemical for normal mood, seratonin, now its better because zoloft makes the serotonin my brain naturally produces, more available to me. Its just like a diabetic taking insulin. No different in any way, just a different organ.

  Go see your Dr, see a psychiatrist and get some cognitive behavioural therapy, this gives you tools to use which help as well. You will get better if you take these steps.

  Love B.
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  myself

  ((((((((((asp)))))))))

  When you visited the doctor, did you mention the depression? Depression affects people in many different ways. My hubby lost a tremendous amount of weight and didn't even realize it was depression. He is on Prozac. When he isn't on it his mind races in many direction in what seems like at the same time, especially when he tries to go to sleep at night.

  I also read that too much sleep can worsen depression. If your visits to the doctor showed no physical symptoms, try to fight the urge to oversleep.
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  OrbitingTheSun

  ((((( Aspiration ))))) Everyone here has given good advice. There isn't much I can say that they haven't mentioned, but I wish you the best and am a good listener if you ever need to talk to someone.
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  Francois

  Sounds like a pretty good case of depression to me. You might want to try a small dose of Effexor, gradually increasing it until you arrive at about 300 mg per day.

  I use it for the depression associated with daily narcotic pain maintenance, and it's worked for me.

  One caveat: you will gain about 1 to 2 pounds a month no matter what you do while you're on it.
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  berylblue

  Aspiration,

  First, all my sincere concern as well as heartfelt affection to you. I feel for you. While I can't possibly know what it is like to be you and in your particular circumstances, I do know a lot about clinical depression, alcohol use, feeling as though there is no purpose to life. I heartily echo the sound sentiments of others...please see your doctor. Please don't be afraid to take antidepressant medication. You need not let anyone know you are taking it for yes, there is still (sadly) a stigma attached to taking psychopharmceuticals. Please DO email me at [email protected]. I don't know what assistance I can offer, but I am willing to do whatever I can.

  Rosemarie

  PS Your physician will know (or should know) which antidepressant medication is right for you. Some are more sedating than others, some more activating...some are actually also useful for anxiety (Effexor is, as far as I know, the only antidepressant currently approved by the FDA for treatment of generalized anxiety disorder). Side effects differ from one drug to the next...some will put on weight, some will cause weight loss, some have undesirable sexual side effects, so please know what you will or will not accept as side effects before you go on any medication. webmd.com is a great source of (mostly) accurate information.

  Please write
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  nowisee

  yes, it takes great strength to admit feeling weak particularly by one who has had pride in always being in control. our culture often mistakes strength for weakness and vice versa.

  i don't have much to add except that there are AA groups for non-believers (probably easier to find them in more cosmopolitan areas of the country), but the alcohol really seems like a symptom and you need to get at the cause and find appropriate treatment.

  i just wanted to let you know that i too care and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  best wishes, nowisee
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  wednesday

  Don't discount how leaving the jws has affected u. I know for myself, i have felt a great void. that is b/c as a jw, we had all the answers and a ready made plan for life, and people to tell us what to do, say and all that. As my therapist said, its hard not having all the answers. I strongly encourge counseling, it will be good to talk about this, and u willl undestand why u are feelling in such a void. The antidepressants are very useful, and u may have to try a few to see which works ,but in general almost all of them cause weight gain ans sexual side efects. Wellbutrin is one that has an energizing effect and does not cause sexual side effects.

  I agree that AA may not be for u. A lot of them are against any form of medication (ie pills.) However, a depression support group could be useful.

  I also wanted to comment on the hormones someone mentioned. It is a very real thing, and not just women go through the "change". Everyone of your smptons could be related to low testosterone. Just a thoujght, so don't rule out that check up.

  best to u.

  wednesday