No Food Coolers at Assemblies! (page 2)

blackout

You're supposed to leave the food cooler in the car, then go and get it at lunch time, then put it back at end of lunch. This also helps to stop people eating and drinking in the session.

Preparing all that food everyday is now the wife's job, I suppose. On top of getting herself ready for the assembly, she has to get all of the kids ready, and then get them breakfast and pack a lunch. It sure sounds like a real winner of an idea that the GB came up with.

"Why are we making all of this food at the assemblies? We can't sell it anymore or we have to pay tax."

"And we can't get people to donate enough to make up for the lucrative profits we had selling those meal tickets."

"Yeah, that was sure a neat scam. Everyone went home with a partial book of tickets in their pockets that they couldn't use up. That was pure donation to us."

"Obviously, brothers, we underestimated their hunger from just sitting there in the bleachers listening to talk after talk."

"Yes. We thought those gurgles coming from the audience were those cute little babies, bless those future little publishers. Instead, it was actually their stomachs growling."

"So what do we do?"

"Hey, I've got an idea! Let's do what we always do. Have the sisters do it! Get rid of the food and then the sisters will be responsible for packing a lunch for the entire family."

"Yeah, but what about us?"

"Oh, we can order Chinese. You see, Jehovah always provides."

bluesapphire

I bet they DO have their meals catered arrrggggh!!!!

I remember I was angry when we had to start packing lunches. There I was dragging 3 small little girls who could fit in a cooler, let alone carry one!

So one day I got invited with the "spiritually weak" group to go out to Sizzler during lunch. I was aghast when lunch dragged for two-three hours and two-three beers later. I finally said, "Hey we're missing the assembly." One guy said, "Oh I'm sure someone will have it on tape!"

TOO TRUE!

LDH

Do you all find it wildly hilarious that the MOST HIGH has followers that need to be told what type of cooler they can bring to a ~~Sales Meeting~~ Assembly?

Keep in mind that this is not the THIRD most high or even SECOND most high, but the FIRST MOST HIGH who has these dumb-asses for followers.

Damn, I'd hate to see the instruction manuals for the Second Most High's followers.

"After you shit, thoroughly cleanse with toilet paper."

"Change your tampon every 2-3 hours."

"Don't forget to eat every day!"

Lisa

Suddenly, the obvious is not so obvious anymore, Class

Tammie

OMG I sure do remember those god awful D.C. The last one I ever attened, my son was about 18 months old and I was expecting the second on the way. That was 5 years ago. I don't remember if the food serving was still going on or not. It's all becomming one big blur to me now. I do remember that it really SUCKED big time. I was hot and misserable and so was my child. And don't forget the swelled feet.

obiwan

Anyone for sushi? Just bring in a raw fish, a loaf of bread.....yeh I know, let's not get biblical here.

Englishman

This is Twickenham, home of Rugby and venue of dubs at London conventions.

alt

If you go to a rugby game there, it's traditional for everyone to bring along a portable barbie and cook up in the car-parks.

I suppose the dubs will veto that too?

Englishman.

Maverick

Hey bluesapphire, you can get in trouble for carrying three small children in a cooler!

I have the perfect solution to this 'problem'. Go to the ...beach or community pool...or Bush Gardens instead! Your children will love you for it. And they will praise God, and you, all the way home! Maverick

xjw_b12

I guess this means I can't set up a Hibachi either.

LOL. OrbitingTheSun....let's get together with Scully, and we'll do that tailgate party thing. Swan. I hear you. It's not enough to get the kids up, fed and clothed to get the assembly, now you have to prepare and pack a lunch, and bring it in a too small cooler. And as for the idea of leaving a larger cooler in your vehicle, that's great if your vehicle is at the convention site. We traditionally stayed in hotels within 8 -10 blocks away. And what about those who have no transportation? Yes another loving provision from Jah! " OK kids.....it's lunch time. Hmmmm. let's see what we have here today. It looks like we have some Cream of Botchulism soup, and some Salmanella sandwiches.............Ummmm."

Hamas

Don't forget also that you are not allowed to take coloured drinks into the auditorium, as it may stain the carpet.

And it doesn't matter how young your kids are and if they hate the taste of water !

I was speaking to somebody recently that had the 'privalidge' of cleaning up after the assembly ( it was his God given commision ! ) and he told me that he had to clean up somebodys nails from the floor !

lol.

No Food Coolers at Assemblies!

Share this