Do You Know Of Reasons Why Some Got Removed From Their Privileges?

by minimus 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ravyn
    Ravyn

    In 1995, my 15th year of regular pioneering, I was asked by an elder to consider getting the State training necessary to take a couple of troubled teens in the congregation who were now in the Foster Care system. I did not really want to do it, however since I just bought a new home and I was a single sister---it was felt by the body of elders that I was the perfect sucker candidate for the job and that if I did not do it, then I really did not deserve to have a house that was nicer than most of the carpet-cleaning elders. So I did it at my own expense, including fixing the basement to be the teen age boys' room as was required by the State regulations. The mother of these two teens was a nutcase in the same congregation, and soon it was obvious that the elders' agenda was to dupe the State and get around the law. Visitation was impossible to enforce, since the kids' had to go to the Hall and in service with me. The mother started making trouble when she got embarassed that her children admitted they lived with me and were apparently doing a thousand times better in my care than hers--and I was only a single sister with 'no experience'--except of course the rigorous parental training I had from the wicked State that belonged to Satan's world...

    Needless to say, after 6 months, and many committees later...I was told by the elders to 'get rid' of the kids, since they were incorrigible and they were never going to tow the line and be good little dubbies and go home with their abusive and neglectful froot-loop of a mother. This was on Dec. 15th. When I explained to the elders that even if I wanted to 'get rid' of the kids, it would have to wait until after the holiday, I was told to take them to the local Police Station and drop them off with some story of how I was afraid of them or something because they threatened me(which they never did.) When I refuesd to do this, I was accused of 'defying the elders' and another committee was set.

    I went to that meeting with no concept of what was going to happen. I was incredulous that it had gone that far and felt that surely right would prevail and they would see how completely unreasonable they had been. Right up until they left the room and I heard the loud and angry shouts in the next room as the elders debated...I did not expect any kind of 'discipline' since it was so obvious the mother, who was there and had to be restrained for violence during the meeting, was a total psychopath. Instead the elders came back in, a couple with tears in their eyes, and told me that because 'the whole congregation knew about this'(which no one did-after 6 months not even everyone knew the kids lived with me) that I was removed as a regular pioneer. I was told there would be no announcement, to spare me embarrassment---which I figured out later was so they would not have to explain to anyone because no one did know about any of the shit going on---and that I could appeal the decision---however I was told by one very smug elder that if I did and I lost it--which he said I surely would--it would 'look bad on your permanent record'. I was in shock. I was told the reason I was removed was because of 'gossip' (against me) and that I showed a Jezebel attitude(because I told the elders I was obligated to the State to do things by the rules). (Incidentally, the Legal Dept at brooklyn told me I was right in this, and the elders and the mother all lost it and told me I could not call Bethel ever again!)

    The kids were crying the mother was foaming at the mouth in victory and both kids were taken out of my home--because its integrity had been compromised. The kids were separated and the boy was sent hundreds of miles away and as far as I know the girl was returned to her mother because she was close to 18 anyway. That was December 17th, 1995 in the Brattleboro, VT congregation. (Peek-a-boo! Ron McTaggart!)

    I was now out of work and removed as a pioneer. The Circuit Overseer came about 4 months later and apologized for the elders' behavior admitting it was wrong and told me I could reapply for regular and he would appprove it. Too late. I had already been on the Internet by then.

    There is more to the story, but it does not go with the topic. Perhaps I will share the rest some other time.

    Ravyn

  • minimus
    minimus

    Ravyn, Continue the story. It's very interesting........I guess you didn't want to wait on Jehovah.

  • Swan
    Swan

    My brother, a good publisher, had hair that was grown long enough to just cover the tips of his ears. There were two elders, who basically ran the congregation because only one other elder had the balls to stand up to them, so they were able to push their weight around pretty much unimpeded. These high-control junkies objected to the length of my brother's hair, asked him to cut it, and he didn't see why he should. They removed his microphone privileges. They turned around and gave these privileges to two young men with longer hair. These two were basically unbaptized publishers (although I don't think they went out in the service). This was done to "encourage" them. This and the 1975 denial really discouraged me at the time. It was soon after that we switched congregations.

    Tammy

  • Disheartened
    Disheartened

    Raven! Please do continue. Your story is quite interesting. I am shocked to find I am not the only one who was treated unfairly in a weird situation at the KH.

  • undercover
    undercover

    I knew a brother who stepped down as an elder after a trying judicial case. This was a good guy, who tried to be loving, understanding and tried to be Christ-like. He was very humble and meek. I knew when they made him an elder, even as a kid, that he was just too nice to be an elder.

    Something happened during this one case that soured him from being an elder. He was accused of certain things by the friends who were caught in the middle of whatever mess that was going on. The accusations really hurt his feelings and made him doubt that he was a spiritual enough man to handle the responsibility. He stepped down, to never return to any kind of full-time service. This after pioneering from high school on and then being an MS and elder. His demeanor changed. He never seemed happy again. It was like he knew he could never trust the friends again.

    This instance among others I have see, has shown to me that those men who did put on the Christ like spirit, were humble, meek and mild, used love and mercy in their dealings with the congregation were usually the ones that burnt out the quickest. Apparently because they wouldn't play the power trip game as others elders did. Apparently because they knew deep down, that this wasn't how Jesus meant for his sheep to be handled.

  • Disheartened
    Disheartened

    Yes, when I was attending the meetings, a ministerial servant had to "step down" from his privileges because it was found out that his son (who was 17 at the time and baptized) was sleeping with everything in a dress. Then one elder had to "step down" to be a lowly publisher because his daughter got pregnant and was unmarried and living in his household.

  • undercover
    undercover
    I knew when they made him an elder, even as a kid, that he was just too nice to be an elder.

    That didn't read right. It should be, "I knew, even as a kid, that when they made him an elder..."

    Not that they made him an elder as a kid. LOL

  • sandy
    sandy

    This thread just reminded me of something that happened to an old JW friend of mine.

    I cannot remember all the details but this is basically what happened.

    My friend was calling this guy on the phone and having phone sex with him. (If I recall correctly she called a random number and it was a pager#) It went on for a week or two. It turned out that while the two were talking the guy realized who she was. They were both in the same congregation. Oh MY GOD!!!! How freaky is that!!!

    Well my friend was freaked out. The brother started feeling guilty and decided to talk to the elders.

    I want to say he was an Elder in the congregation but I am not 100% sure.

    He was silently reproved and lost all privileges. She was already on reproof for other crazy behavior. She never got DF'd because her mother was married to the PO and that just wouldn't look right for her step-dad.

  • libra_spirit
    libra_spirit

    Brings up an intresting thought I have never considered. Since the Elders must "step down" does this not seem to indicate them to be in an "elevated position" over the Congregation? How un Christ like, shouldn't they be "washing feet" or some such other demeaning jobs? Sweeping the floor or at least trying to be equals. The idea that if an Elders son or daughter can be the cause of thier loosing thier elevated position no wonder the Elders kids get special treatment!

  • sandy
    sandy
    The idea that if an Elders son or daughter can be the cause of thier loosing thier elevated position no wonder the Elders kids get special treatment!

    Good point Libra Spirit.

    I think this is the case the majority of the time. Elders want to keep their privileges high status.

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