Growing up a gay Jehovah's Witness (My Life Story)

by m0nk3y 263 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  czarofmischief

  To my pain and shame I used to be one those judgemental types - please forgive me, Josh, and all of you that I rejected because of their sexuality. I was raised the same way you were, the same patterns of thought, the same snap judgements, I just never had to deal with it beyond rejecting the occasional friend.

  We are what we are - and if it doesn't hurt others, then it isn't a sin.

  Beyond that, I can't speak for God, but I know that the deity I call Jehovah is a kind and loving one, and I'm positive that he heard your prayers for deliverance. You just didn't know what to ask for - but he has set you free from the WTS. They misrepresent him, and will be judged accordingly.

  Plus, not even the old Jewish Jehovah cared about masturbation - I'm sure he would have made a law about it, He did about everything else...

  As for all that you have suffered, the way to conquer it is to turn it into something good - one way that I have found useful is by being supportive to those who are enduring similar circumstances, using the painful experiences to teach others how to avoid such pain. Like the one guy who said that you were lucky to have not gotten married... so avoid getting roped into that situation... see?

  All right, my friend, go in peace... Be safe, take care of others...

  CZAR
• 

  Pleasuredome

  well done josh for sharing your life story with us, i think we all appreciate it, as we can all learn from it.
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  Josh,

  I cannot begin to imagine how awful it must have been for you. (hugs)

  I can only say that, if nothing else, you will be prepared to face whatever happens in the rest of your life - having gone through the crucible at such a young age! Having been through hell and come out the other side a bit scorched, but stronger, you'll be able to tell yourself, "I've survived that, I can survive this."

  Too bad you had to, though...too bad you couldn't have skipped trying to sacrifice yourself on the cold altar of an unfeeling, uncaring god. Hearing stories like yours strengthens my determination to have no respect for him or his followers.

  If you're ever up this way, give me a holler and we'll go out oggling cute guys and making rude remarks about people.

  Liz
• 

  m0nk3y

  I got this private message a little while ago and I thought it would be unfair not to add it to the thread.

  Sent on	02-Jul-03 23:28 Jul 2, 2003
  Sent By	northern girl
  Title	Hi from northern girl
  Message	Don't take this personally but ANY true religion that follows bible principals cannot condone your lifestyle. Remember about false prophets tickling peoples ears at the time of the end? I think you sound like a very humane person who should really take a reality check ... northern girl ... (emailed you so I can't be considered a troll).

  Northern Girl, you say I need a reality check ? Exactly where are you grounding that statement ? It would seem to me that you would be the one that needs a reality check. You ask me not to take what your saying personally and yet you are directing it towards my situation .. arn't you in fact asking me to do the impossible ? Even the fact that you didn't want to be seen as a troll brings yourself into alot of disrepute.

  I'm not really going to censor the way I feel about people like you, I feel your a scared human being that hides behind religion to make your decisions .. not only that but you direct acidic language towards me and try to say with the other breath that I'm ok with you. Isn't that like saying "Northern Girl I really like you but on the other hand, I don't"

  This was my story, I worded it as it happened to me and if you think that your TRUE religion is an excuse for the harsh and unloving way I was treated was godly and right then I feel sad for you. Because unlike me you are talking a blind language. You don't have the experience to base your knowledge on so instead you draw your knowledge from somthing sombody else said. Have you also read the scripture about the blind leading the blind ?

  You also talk about "ANY true religion" .. exactly how many are there ? Isn't there only suppose to be one ? Perhaps my beliefs are the right beliefs and yours are just based on an old book that came from the middle east .. theres a great place to be diriving a loving attitude towards your fellow man.

  I would prefer in the future that you keep your one dimensional comments to yourself and people like you. Because people like me have listened to that rubbish way to long and frankly don't want our time wasted with the dribble.

  monk3y
• 

  SpiceItUp

  (((m0nk3y)))

  Wow....I was moved by your story. It is great that you have been able to become a stronger person in spite of difficult times. My hat is off to you.
• 

  logansrun

  Josh,

  You're story is quite moving and a testament to your courage. Although I'm not gay I also experienced many similar feelings of guilt over sexuality (masturbation, "dirty" thoughts, etc). It's amazing that, when one looks at the matter rationally and sympathetically, all the guilt goes away and we can truly live a life worth living.

  Don't pay any attention to those who are locked in a medivel and anachronistic mindset. Remember, they're the ones that are truly distorted, not you. Keep in touch with enlightened humanity and let the assinine comments of others just roll off.

  (((Josh)))

  Take care,

  Bradley
• 

  moreisbetter

  I’m so very grateful you posted your story, and even more so you didn’t take it down. I can only imagine but nonetheless appreciate the difficulty it must have been writing it. IMHO, discovering who we are as individuals, then being true to that is one of the greatest challenges in human existence. Your story, like so many other posts I’ve had the privilege to read, is a double shot of strength and hope that our lives are indeede worthy to continue on in this life.

  My very best wishes to you and yours.
• 

  Ravyn

  only someone who is soul-sick would try to add to your pain Monkey.
  

  how dare Northern Girl spread her infection further? Makes me want to slap someone upside the head.

  NG if you have a heart try listening to it.

  there is no place for close-minded rabid fundys in my circle.

  some people are a waste of oxygen, nothing more than arrogant hemmorhoids.

  but the shoe does not HAVE to fit NG. save yourself from this inhumane, ungodly, false morality before it eats you up. I thought of something the other day that changed my husband's whole ambivalent attitude...

  I can't have kids. I deliberately had my tubes tied because I don't want children. Now if sex is only supposed to be between male and female--why? To reproduce of course. So now if I have sex with my mate and I have deliberately chosen not to reproduce it is as much a 'sin' as same gender sex or masturbation. Why would it be ok for me and my mate to have sex for pure enjoyment just because we happen to be different genders when it is not ok to enjoy sex alone or with someone of the same gender? The reason for the two gender thing is reproduction--period. It was not 'Eve's' gender that completed 'Adam' --it was the fact that he would no longer be BY HIMSELF. It was not good for him to be by himself. But there were two birds that needed killing with one stone here---the other one was a means of reproducing. So that made it necessary for his mate to be the oppposite gender.

  Humans are sexual. whether we have someone to be sexual with or not. Morality is a man-made set of rules for enforcing slavery. Because sex contains all the power of divinity, (we are made in the image of our gods/goddesses--)so sex became something to control in order to control the masses.

  The biggest lie in the Bible is when it tells you NOT to trust your heart. Your heart is the only thing you can trust. NG if you can feel the similarity in Monkey's story to others---which your original question indicates---then you KNOW there is a whole group of beautiful, wonderful, LOVEABLE people out there that you are missing out on knowing and loving.

  NG open up your world a little bit. There is no place among us here on this forum for such close-mindedness. Either you will learn to trust your heart or you will end up leaving us. Take the chance. we won't hurt you.

  Ravyn
• 

  northern girl

  Ravyn: I've resorted to emails so I won't be seen as a troll. But my last 2 emails go out without the message so maybe there is another type of troll operating here.
• 

  Ravyn

  Hey NG! it is some kind of glitch, alot of people are having the same trouble with the messaging. it only looks like it sent blank--usually the person gets it just fine. it was happening to me last week.

  Ravyn