Growing up a gay Jehovah's Witness (My Life Story)

by m0nk3y 263 Replies latest jw experiences

  • AlanF
    AlanF

    Hi Josh,

    I had no idea when we were in chat the other night that you had had such a difficult time. Way to go for telling your story!

    I'm not gay, but there are commonalities between us. When I was about 19 or so the Society's idiotic admonishments convinced me to confess my sin of masturbation to elders on a number of occasions. They were always kind and understanding. One even told me that 95% of men admit to masturbation and the other 5% are liars. At the other end of the spectrum, one told me that he was sure that the Society would soon make masturbation a disfellowshipping offense. They all suggested intense prayer and so forth. I prayed and prayed and prayed. No answers. I felt quite depressed for several years. Finally I realized, in a vague, fuzzy sort of way, that I had never gotten an answer to a prayer, and that either no one was up there listening, or that I wasn't worthy. But the latter didn't set right, since it went against everything I had been taught about "the hearer of prayer", and the former didn't make sense either. Gradually I just quit thinking about prayer, but rarely ever tried it again. I now realize that there really is nobody up there, and that people who think they get answers to prayers are engaging in massive self-deception.

    You should not have put Northern Girl's private message out for public inspection without her permission. That's a gross violation of privacy and one of the greatest "sins" you can commit on the Net. You should have simply summarized her silly comments.

    As for you, Northern Girl, I suspect you're a classic troll, but I can't prove it. Your comments are generally so stereotypically JW-braindead that I can hardly believe they come from a sincere JW -- even they are not that far gone. You even said that the Governing Body is inspired -- something that no real JW would ever admit. My comments here will assume that you're not a mere troll

    JWs rely for morality on the writings of 4000-year-old nomadic tribesmen who knew nothing of the issues of modern life. They did not know that humans are sometimes born with homosexual leanings, and that these leanings are a perfectly normal thing. They are normal because people are born with them, and therefore, your postulated creator-god must have created these leanings. Such leanings are far too complicated to have evolved by themselves in the short time since Adam and Eve supposedly lost "perfection" and mankind began to deteriorate. Such facts strongly show that "Biblical morality" is not based on fact, but on a 4000-year-old culture that is irrelevant in today's world. Such Biblical morality teaches that women are mere items of property, which illustrates how out of touch it is.

    So Josh, as you've already learned quite well for yourself, you'll get no sympathy from self-righteous nincompoops who base their lives on 4000-year-old foolishness.

    AlanF

  • asleif_dufansdottir
    asleif_dufansdottir
    monkey : after your last comments ... I rest my case.

    How do you not understand that you hurt him very badly by what you said? Surely you have some compassion. Do you not care that you took an obviously painful topic and caused further pain by what you said?

    It's true that the Bible seems to condemn homosexuality. It's also true that, when the Bible conflicts with common sense, decency and compassion, the Bible should be thrown out the window and ignored. That's what I did with mine.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    G'day m0nk3y

    I read your story last night, and it was very difficult for me to formulate a response so I waited until today. First thank you for having the big brass ones to post your story. No 19 year old should have to go through what you did. At 19, you should be on top of the world. I am so very sorry that you experienced such a dark side of life at such a young age. Hold your head high and take pride in who you are and what you've accomplished in such a short time. I am very glad you're still here on this earth, and even moreso that you choose to share your time with us on this board.

    As for the reactions to your story, attach yourself to the many who cheer you, rather than the one who seeks to tear you down. I don't know how you feel about spirituality, but my God teaches the one quality he wants more than any other is, love. I choose to believe in a God who came to the earth, and hung out with people who were looked down on, or were judged "evil" or unworthy. I choose to believe in a God who feels tender affection at us and all of our foibles. I choose to believe in a God who rages against hypocrisy and sitting in judgment on others. I choose to believe in a God who is inclusive and not exclusive.

    I know how it feels to be on the outside looking in. I know how it feels to have hypocritical hypocrites look down their nose at me in contempt and self-righteous anger. I could never in good conscience do this to another person. I could not look myself in the mirror if I did.

    If my son, or daughter, grows up and comes to me in the way you did to your mother, and tearfully tells me they are gay I will love them with my whole heart. If I did anything else, I would be a poor parent and an even worse Christian.

    Peace,

    Chris

  • sandy
    sandy

    Hello Josh.

    I am so glad you told us your story. It was very touching. I am sorry for the pain you had to suffer but I am glad you made it through.

  • GentlyFeral
    GentlyFeral

    NorthernGirl,

    I can think of several denominations where at least some of the congregations would have welcomed monk3y with open arms:

    • Reform Judaism
    • some Quakers
    • some Baptist churches
    • many Episcopal churches
    • many Methodist churches
    • Pagans
    • Unitarian Universalists

    GentlyFeral

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Princess (she is my daughter) told me about your story today, and suggested I read it. I am so glad I did. You have been through so much, and deserve to be happy and love yourself. I hope you are both!!

    Most of us will accept you here. I am one who does believe many gay people are born that way, and it is genetic for them. Obviously you are one of them. I have 3 sons and would love them the same if they were gay, but there was a time I know it would have crushed me. Fortunately I am not that person anymore.

    Thank you so much for writing your story for us. Keep healing!

    (Originally I posted that all of us would accept you, and then I read some posts that made me realize some are not being very helpful.............sorry about that)

  • northern girl
    northern girl

    The wagons have circled. I give up but only because everyone of you are so close minded. Ravyn, I read your post ... youv'e had enough life time experiences for a few people.

    Who would all of you have to blame for all your problems if it wasn't for the big bad WTBS. Don't you think it's time to shut the door on the past and move on. Really, there is more to life.

  • Hamas
    Hamas

    Monkeyboy, you have my respect.

    I felt for you reading your story. To think that maybe I could have been one of those narrow minded people down at the kingdom hall that thought it was sick to be homosexual sickens me

    I think I have told you about my views in the past. I'm glad you decided to share your story with us, monkey, it shows the hurt that people go through to reach the other side of the Watchtower. I myself was raised in the 'truth' by my mother only; maybe our situation wasn't that different. Those guys that thought you could change your feelings on something like this

    I'm pleased you have found a good life, Monkey. You certainly deserve it, my friend. This story shows just how narrow minded those Witnesses really are; or how we all were at one stage. I know I certainly was.

    Peace to you.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    ((((Josh)))), brave man for sharing your story. I thought for sure, a well known Christian humorist's son was gay , http://www.dontmissyourlife.com/ and that she talked about coming to a state of acceptance in one of her books . But I have not yet confirmed it. My brain can be swiss cheese sometimes.

    I include the following for information only, not as support either way for their positions:

    Major religious groups and their position on same-sex couples
    New Jersey Online/AP, July 1, 2000

    The General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) on Friday recommended that religious ceremonies blessing the commitments of same-sex couples be banned.

    Here is where other major denominations stand on the issue:

    EPISCOPALIANS: Church leaders will debate the issue at a general convention July 5 through 14 in Denver. Although officially opposed to gay couples, in practice, priests routinely perform blessings of them.

    CATHOLICS: The church is staunchly opposed to all homosexual activities and refuses to recognize any gay commitment ceremonies.

    MORMONS: The church opposes all unions of gay couples.

    JEWS: The Central Conference of American Rabbis, the governing body for Reformed Jewish rabbis, passed a motion in March in favor of performing blessings for same-sex couples. Conservative and Orthodox Jews adhere to Jewish tradition, which prohibits homosexual activities.

    METHODISTS: The church voted overwhelmingly in May to maintain its policy against gay commitment ceremonies. The church also mandated discipline for ministers performing any such ceremonies.

    LUTHERANS: Although the national leadership of the Evangelical Lutheran Church discourages any blessings of gay couples, there are no official rules prohibiting such unions, and some pastors have said they intend to perform ceremonies for gays.

    SOUTHERN BAPTISTS: The nation's largest Protestant denomination is resolutely opposed to any unions of gay couples.

    UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST: With 1.4 million members, it is the largest religious body to sanction gay couples. The church has a long-standing policy of tolerance on the issue.

  • sandy
    sandy

    Northerngirl,

    Don't you think it's time to shut the door on the past and move on. Really, there is more to life.

    Why are you on this website?

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit