Did you lose respect for your parents because of the JW / Watchtower crap ?

by run dont walk 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  gumby

  I am sorry, BUT I hated my parents (probaly from the time I was 13), I know that is mean and a terrible thing to say, but that's how I felt

  So many are angry with their parents for acting like dub parents. That's what they were.......dub parents! That's what they believed to be truth because they were lied too........just like we were. Why blame your parents for the same shit you fell for?

  I realise some parents of yours were real buttholes, but they probably would have been anyways.....dub or not. I know it's hard to not forgive a parent shunning you, but would we have shunned our own child had we stayed "strong" in the Organisation and THEY had turned from it? Possibly we would behave the same. I don't know what I would do were the shoe on the other foot in my life.

  Gumby
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  be wise

  Personally I've explained a lot of stuff to my mum - who is very respected in the congregation for her 'spirituality' but it's hard to respect someone who lies about something they so passionately believe in just to make it look true when it isn't.

  I asked her about 1975 when I found out about it she said - they didn't say that, that was not the opinion the organisation had - blah blah blah. So I did more research and found the recordings of the assemblies on the free minds website showing exactly what they said. I was rather annoyed that my mum lied to me so blatantly so I said - I've heard recordings of assemblies and I know exactly what they said (bet she was never expecting that) she said very defeated ' oh yes, they did say that, they were wrong but new light ... blah blah blah.
• 

  Big Tex

  Did you lose respect for your parents because of the JW / Watchtower crap ?

  No, I had lost respect years before while I was still a child. I saw how two-faced they were. At home, they were hell on wheels, at the Hall we were the family in "Family Ties". I actually had a brother tell me that once. My life turned for the better once I realized that they would not touch me ever again. I began to assert more and more control over my life until by the time I met my wife (at age 19) I did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and neither parent protested. The monsters of my early childhood had grown fat and lazy; they were still mean, but all I had to do was alternately rage or ignore them and they would leave me be.

  I feel very little toward my family nowadays. If there is any feeling left, it's probably closest to say I feel contempt, but honestly I don't even feel very much of that. They are insignificant and irrelevent to me now. I haven't spoken to them in over 10 years and actually I don't really know where they are now. More importantly I don't care.

  But was this a result of the Witnesses? No, not really. If anything the Witnesses helped my parents, which shows how screwed up they were. I know my father doesn't believe it's the truth, but he goes because he's hedging his bets and he's too lazy to do anything else. He's one of those people who is dead, before they die. He is a hollowed out and little man, playing on an empty stage for an audience of one: himself. He pretends to live a virtuous life so that he can lie to himself. It's all he has left really.

  One day I might feel pity, but then again, I probably won't.
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  siegswife

  Losing or not having respect for your parents isn't strictly a JW issue. I was raised by people who never were and never will be JW's. They never taught me the things you listed, run, but they expected me to somehow know about those things anyway. They disowned me for a time because I didn't live up to "their standards", which is quite strange since my dad is an alcoholic and my mom is a, err...how can I put this mildly...ok...my mom has the sophistication and social skills of a bag lady.

  "Their standards" pretty much meant not associating with black people (they needed someone to look down on). They were upset when I ended up pregnant at 14, but nothing got their goat quite as much as when I started having black friends around about the age of 19.

  Anyway, despite our bleak history, I still have respect my parents. They actually learned from their experience with me. The best friends they currently have are the black people who had a house built across the alley from them about 15 years ago. She comes over and checks on my dad if one of us takes my mom away for a few days (dad won't go anywhere other than the hospital when he has to).

  I've realized that parents can only do the best they can. I know that I've never dealt with the same situation that most of you are, but believe me, I didn't appreciate it when my parents pulled the hypocrite act and turned against me because of something as bogus as predjudice. I'd always imagined that parents are supposed to be there for you no matter what. Boy, was I wrong.

  I think that the people who hurt us the most are the people who are supposed to love us the most, and your friends and family are usually your worst enemies. I know that's a cliche, but it's true.

  Parents are only human, and as czar said, we shouldn't expect miracles from them. Most of us are hindered by our own limitations, and the older generation seems to have had their limitations ingrained into them deeper and they expected the same sort of attitude from their kids. Don't know how or why that happened, but I've noticed that in older people. Of course, I don't know the ages of some of you that are posting, so I could possibly be the old fuddy duddy who hasn't a clue.

  I guess what I'm saying is that you should try not to hate or disrespect your parents for being JW's. Most people feel or have felt that way about their parents, even those of us who weren't raised by religious fundamentalists. The trick is getting over it.

  Lea
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  Ariell

  I pity my parents because of the JW/Watchtower crap, especially my Mom. Her whole life revolves around this religion. She wouldn't know what to do with herself without it. She's obsessed with it. Religious fanatic. Spends at least 20 hours a week reading the bible along with Watchtower publications. I don't even think I would want my Mom to realize what the borg is all about for fear she may commit suicide. I haven't lost respect for them because I understand why they did what they did. They truly believed they were doing the right thing.
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  onacruse

  siegswife:

  Parents are only human, and as czar said, we shouldn't expect miracles from them. Most of us are hindered by our own limitations, and the older generation seems to have had their limitations ingrained into them deeper and they expected the same sort of attitude from their kids. Don't know how or why that happened, but I've noticed that in older people. Of course, I don't know the ages of some of you that are posting, so I could possibly be the old fuddy duddy who hasn't a clue.

  Let me add my "old fuddy duddy" voice to yours I love my parents, and I know they love me. They've been JWs for 50 years, and have always done the best they could, as best they knew how, for me and my brothers. They've even apologized for the things they thought they did wrong.

  However, and much more importantly, my heart very sincerely goes out to all of you who've been abused (in any way) by your parents. I simply can't imagine the pain you must have.

  Craig
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  Austrian

  That's what they were.......dub parents! That's what they believed to be truth because they were lied too........just like we were. Why blame your parents for the same shit you fell for?

  Being raised in da troof doesn't mean you fall for it. Kids raised in the borg suffer till they can bolt. Some can't handle being out of the social aspect of the borg so they marry at 18 to another young dub. And some have established outside contacts and totally leave the borg and aren't worried about the shunning.

  I have lost repect for my parents and I shun them they don't shun me.
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  gumby

  Being raised in da troof doesn't mean you fall for it

  My reference was to those children who were also witnesses.

  Gumby
• 

  Michael3000

  Unfortunately, I have also lost respect for my parents. When I was being raised a Dub, I thought a lot of what we had to do was "unfair", & like most teenagers, I rebelled (albeit in very small ways, compared to what I could have done) against them. But the JW Guilt Reinforcement System (TM) was in full effect, and I eventually resolved to "be a good son, a good Witness for Jehovah, not dishonor my parents", blah, blah, blah. I find that I have lost MORE respect for my folks after coming to a better understanding of what they were thinking and experiencing when they decided to become Dubs. My parents were Catholic, they married young and had 6 children, one after another. My Mom was first to convert (isn't that typical?), and I think she felt that the "Truth" (TM) was the answer to all the problems she & my father were having as a young married couple. That set the pattern for the rest of their lives together - and for us kids. When you are having marriage trouble, financial trouble, AND have to raise a bunch of kids... then the Dubs show up at your door with all the answers to life's problems, and the lifestyle absolves members from having to deal with any of the realities of life. POOF! You are no longer under any responsibility to worry about saving money for the future: Armageddon's coming any moment! POOF! You don't have to earn a college degree so you can do more for your family's welfare: This world belongs to Satan and will soon be destroyed - better to store up your treasures in Heaven! POOF! You don't have to actually DO any research - the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society has already done it for you!

  My parents chose the path of least resistance - at least it was for them, at the time. But they also instilled in me the same programming, so that now, as an adult, I STILL find it hard to complete projects, or plan ahead, or see the Big Picture. But I am aware. And I will not waste any more of my life.