yesterday's Drama (page 2)

sandy

Yes, you are all so right. Thanks for the responses and great advice.

I must admit I was a little hesitant to get into the subject of do you believe the "truth" or not. I did ask her though. She gave the typical response that young naive brain-dead dubs give: I believe everything but.......... I just don't see what is so bad about dating a worldly boy.

I just told her that she is an adult and she can and should make her own decisions. I also said: “Please, if you decide to have sex use protection, don't get pregnant, don’t use drugs, never drink and drive. You can always talk to me if you have a problem with anything.”

I always encourage her to go to college. She is starting some classes in the fall. I told her that she should focus on school. Guys come and go. I think she is too young to get serious about any guy. I am afraid that sense she has lived such a sheltered life she will turn to the first guy she sees for security. She seems to have a pretty good head on her shoulders as they say so I think she will be ok.

I want her to live a normal late teenage/early adult life but at the same time I want to shelter her from anything that could possibly hurt her. For those of you wondering: She just got baptized, I believe at the beginning of this year. I tried to talk to her right before she did that but she went a head with it anyways. Oh well.

sandy

Tell her, only slightly joking, that if she marries this guy before she is...say....25, you will kill yourself. She needs a little yin with her yang.

sixofnine, she'll get a good laugh out of that. She is worried about her nut-job mother but she still has a sense of humor.

sandy

Calamityjane,

My thoughts exactly. I am proud of her for being able to tell her mom. I could have never done such a thing either.

I only wish I was smart like her to tell my parents at 18 what I would have rather done, but instead I got married to a witness guy, horrible marriage from the start. But at that time it was 1976 and I thought Armageddon was just around the corner.

And your sister, sounds like she needs to get a life and not live with your mom. Although I don't know anything about your sister, I'm sure there's a long story as to why she is living with your mom. Maybe you can enlighten us on her story later.

You can say that again. She moved back home for health reasons but she still needs to get a f'n life.

She is always involved in everyone else's life but when it comes to things about her and her daughter it is nobody's business. She is trying to keep this as quiet as possible. She doesn't want to look bad to other brain-dead dubs. I know she will tell the elders but I am not sure if she has just yet.

Normally, if it were somebody else in the family she would be the first to spread the news around to anybody especially the elders.

This is such a slap in the face to her, which has been a long time coming.

sandy

Update:

My niece is going to meet with the Elders. She is planning on telling them she is not going to break up with her boyfriend. Though she will not admit it I think she is really looking for a way out. I hope she stands her ground.

Her mother calmed down and told her to witness to him. She offered to pick him up and take him to the KH. LOL she is such a freaking idiot.

She wants to push her daughter to become more serious with him, marry him at 18 even if he doesn't convert, have kids before she's 20, have no education, unstable job, live at home with mother and grandparents, just so my niece can resent her life at 25 years old. OMG, I wish I could beat sense into my sister. I would if it would really work.

calamityjane

Normally, if it were somebody else in the family she would be the first to spread the news around to anybody especially the elders.

So much like a brain dead dub, they just can't wait to spread the news of somebody else's misery.

jw grapevines spread like wild fire.

Hopefully your niece will be able to break away and live a normal life.

love

cj

xjw_b12

Sandy. Sounds like you're doing a fine job there.

I'm concerned for the guy she's dating though. Does your niece believe she can "rescue" him, by marrying him, then converting him to JWism? That is a scary situation, if that is both her and her mother's mindset in this.

She wants to push her daughter to become more serious with him, marry him at 18 even if he doesn't convert, have kids before she's 20, have no education, unstable job, live at home with mother and grandparents, just so my niece can resent her life at 25 years old.

That household is going to look like "The Waltons"

Latin assassin from Manhattan

I would advise your niece to take things just a little bit slow with the boys and to focus on her education. Whether she was a JW or not I think that teens need to get themselves together first before they get seriously involved in a relationship.

HOWEVER, this does not mean that she shouldn't date or go out with her boyfriend. What I mean is that she should be careful not to committ her time/energy/emotions to a serious relationship. At her age, it's not worth it.

Unfortunately, JW parents have a way of forcing their kids into situations they don't intend for themselves by not allowing ANY interaction with the opposite sex. Why should a young lady have to move out and possibly get into more 'trouble' just because she has an interest in the opposite sex?

I'm sure if your niece said she wanted to go to 'Bethel', her mother would've thrown a party for her. But since your niece is not living her mother's dream, too bad right?

Tell your niece that in time, her mother will regret being so strict with her.

sandy

I'm concerned for the guy she's dating though. Does your niece believe she can "rescue" him, by marrying him, then converting him to JWism? That is a scary situation, if that is both her and her mother's mindset in this.

xjwb12,

This is not my niec's intent. At least she says it is not. I mentioned this to her over the phone (indifferent words of course) and she said she just wants her mother to calm down and get used of the idea that she is going to date him.

I would advise your niece to take things just a little bit slow with the boys and to focus on her education. Whether she was a JW or not I think that teens need to get themselves together first before they get seriously involved in a relationship.

Believe me I must have told her this ten times yesterday evening.

Latin assassin from Manhattan

Sandy,

If you told her so many times, than all you can do now is let her learn the way we all do - by living. I've made the same mistake she made on account of my mother and sure enough, I got married, and got divorced before I was 25. I remarried but this time, it's on my terms and it's sooo much better. What makes it better is that we're both ex JWs so we already know what we want and don't want.

Having a boyfriend at her age is unavoidable. The best you can do is show her how to enjoy this time in her life responsibly and step away from the situation.

arrowstar

Sandy -

She is lucky to have someone like you around at this time. Very lucky indeed.

Arrowstar

yesterday's Drama

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