yesterday's Drama (page 3)

sandy

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice. I really appreciate it.

I am pretty sure my niece doesn't want to be bothered with meetings right now. She wants to live a regular life. I don't know how she is going to get the Elders, not to mention her mother, off her back.

I have a feeling before this is all said and done my "Apostate Thinking" will be revealed. I can sit back and keep quiet about myself and let them say whatever they want about and to me but, I am not going to let them mistreat my niece.

Last night when we were puting her things in my car I opened my trunk and there was all this Jw literature plain as day. She didn't ask me about it. LOL I have been going to the Library and doing research this past month or so.

Who knows maybe before this is all over my niece will have turned me into the Elders. LOL

zeena1998

Sandy,

First of all, like most of the other posters, good for you for being there for your niece. Your voice of reason I'm sure is like a breath of fresh air to her after all of the drama her mom seemingly offers her. Just keep being there for you and offering up your unconditional acceptance of her...that is by far the biggest gift of love you can give her.

I totally get what everyone is saying about cautioning her about getting too serious about this boy at her age. I know of someone (a JW) who got married young primarily because of the "raging hormones" thing; they were messing around (lots!) and were told that unless they were married, it was a sin. Ergo, an early marriage. I don't really know how they are doing today, but I do know that they went thru a really tough time of it for a while.

My thoughts are with you and your niece Sandy!

Andie

sandy

Update:

My niece came home this weekend. All of the crazies promised to not tell her anything about her boyfriend.

Her mother calmed down and everyone (the religious nuts) agreed not to give my niece a hard time about having a "worldly" boyfriend.

Her mom said she has to attend the meetings and she wants her to invite her boyfriend to the Sunday meetings. She even offered to pick him up.

Her mother said she would still provide her with the necessities of life such as food, shelter and water but no perks.

My niece is upset though because her mom has started bugging her about getting married. Freaking idiot!

Her mom and my sisters are telling her that all worldly men cheat and she is only going to get hurt.

I tried to be a voice of reason for her and I hope my concern comes across as only concern and not judgment and cynicism.

czarofmischief

Her mom wants her to get married - to a boy they insist will cheat on her?

Wow... that's about all Czar could say, was... wow...

Mostly, I've found that kids sort out their own lives, and as long as they stay away from hard drugs, they turn out okay. Just be there, give good advice, and make sure she plans for the future. That's all she needs to worry about, getting a good education. As for the boyfriend, well, who can say? Maybe it will work, maybe it won't.

CZAR

heathen

I think she needs to run like hell out of that whacky family and decide for herself what religion or education or boyfriend she wants . I personally know some j- dubs that are divorced due to infidelity so just because someone marries out side of the faith would not determine the result of the relationship.It's ridiculous how perfect and faultless they really think that the people in the religion are .

Swan

Sandy,

I also said: “Please, if you decide to have sex use protection, don't get pregnant, don’t use drugs, never drink and drive. You can always talk to me if you have a problem with anything.”

I was going to tell you to be sure and have the safe sex talk with her just in case, but you beat me to it. It actually sounds like you covered the really big warnings. JWs tend to focus on these and so much more, so that getting your tounge pierced is as bad as becoming a heroin addict.

Hint: Having protection available and handy is a good thing too. I think they cover the knowing how to use it part in high school now-a-days, but you might want to check just in case. JW parents are sorely lacking in training their children in this vital area.

Im my opinion, you are doing a fine job and deserve a pat on the back.

Tammy

sandy

Well my self-righteous sister has caved. Personally I do not blame her because she is afraid my niece will move out with her father. My niece's father isn't such a great influence. He still thinks he is a teenager.

Well, my niece met with the elders and they told her they'll meet again next week to see if she has broken up with her boyfriend.

She said to me and them that she is not going to so they'll be forced to "Mark" her.

Do they or did they ever at one time announce the name of the person who has been marked. I always thought they did but my niece is under the impression that they only give a talk and say someone in the congregation has been marked.

bluesapphire

Hi sandy! I just found this thread. To answer your question on marking, I have never heard of them mentioning the name but the congregation gossip squad (elders wives) always make sure to leak it anyway.

Your niece reminds me of me. My parents adamantly refused to let me date my first boyfriend. He truly was a jerk and I didn't really like him. But their being so against it only pushed me closer to him and I ended up marrying the idiot. I hope your niece has more sense than I did!

Is this the congregation the person we both know goes to? If it is, those elders seem pretty nice. They'll try to "encourage" her and view her as "weak" is my opinion.

I think you should keep being there for her but play it cool. You don't want to put yourself in hot water over this. Feel her out before you talk negatively about the "truth" because if she feels you are apostate then you wont be able to influence her in any way. And right now you're the only voice of reason in her life.

shamus

Good lord! what a mess!

The good news is they are going to mark her right out of the cult.... and you are doing the right thing by BEING THERE FOR HER... something that everyone else has refused to do.

"you will all know my disciples if they have love amongst themselves..."

The witnesses obviously have absolutley zero love whatsoever. Good for her for making independent choices!

Shamus

bluesapphire

Come to think of it, why isn't this a df'ing offense? I mean the bible clearly states, "Do not mix unevenly bla bla bla..." I think that subliminally the society knows that informal witnessing is its only hope for a future. So outwardly they claim they don't condone it but behind the scenes they are hoping that your niece converts her boyfriend. They could care less if down the line they have three kids (future dubbies) and divorce. Because out of one fringe JW, they will have the possibility to end up with five more.

yesterday's Drama

Share this