NG: I'm glad this topic was brought back to the first page, because I've been thinking about it, and you, for days. Some of the things you said really touched me and I think the subject deserves a new thread, as this one got side-tracked from the original issue (as is very often the case).
What I would like to discuss with you seperately is this:
You have a good history as a JW - your congregation was warm and loving, you were not shunned for being educated, you want that "extended family" feeling back. My past, at least the earlier years, is similar.
Yet, your "hope" of eternal life on a perfect new earth is dependent NOT on scripture alone, but on how the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses interprets scripture. Other religions, Catholics, Jews, Baptists, Mormons, and others have a different idea of the afterlife, the future, and Bible dogma. Also, ALL of these groups have members who have experienced what you and I did as a member of a warm, loving and supportive group.
So then, in order for your individual hope to be based on anything, you must have faith that the GB is correct that:
They are the fulfillment of the Faithful and Discreet Slave, dispensing food at the proper time to God's people
That Christ returned invisibly in 1914 and bestowed above honor on above group shortly thereafter
That there is only ONE way to be acceptable to Jehovah and thus survive at Armageddon - by accepting ALL the teachings of Jehovah's earthly servant.
If any of these things is wrong, then your hope is based on nothing.
It's not as frightening as you think to examine these questions. Let's do so on another thread.
I am leaving on a business trip for a few days and will return Sunday night. I will be available to respond at that time.
Until then, best wishes.
Wasa