by sleepy 31 Replies latest jw friends
At one time I was one of "Gods chosen people", part of a special group of people who had exclusive access to hidden truths about the earth and its people.
Now of cource I realise i'm just like everyone else and all the puzzles are still there.
Kind of miss that feeling sometimes.
Just realised I really was part of a "special" people , just special in a different sense..
No, I never really felt that I belonged anyway.
Yes, i do miss it sometimes. Since i only like myself a little bit, having myself at the centre is hard work. It would be easier to be selfless, serving something greater than myself. Selfishness is hard work for me.
SS
I think that feeling is what keeps a lot of people in. The problem is, as an individual, you are not much at all in the org. If your talents are obvious, well then you are bosting. You can never do enough to measure up. But the feeling of being part of something we thought was so big...one of the chose few, was intoxicating.
I can't say I miss it, because I am so much happier now. Every aspect of my life is better in every way.
Coffee
Nope, just family and friends.
I know I'm going to miss that.
I was thinking about that last month...I was out of state and lost. I saw a Kingdom Hall. I tried the door; it was unlocked...and empty! Ha ha. I used the restroom and made some long distance calls (yay for passive aggressive behavior LOL) and waited in the cool air conditioning for my friends to come pick me up.
I was thinking how sad it was that I would no longer belong to a group that had buildings that were exactly the same wherever you went across the country...none of that safe predictability, none of that assuredness of finding a friend and having peace. It felt safe to walk into a KH and find it almost exactly the same as the one back home.
And then I thought...no...what I'm wishing for is someone to take care of me and baby me. That's not what I need...I need to grow up already and learn how to take care of myself, and the WTS doesn't help there. So that was the answer to that...it felt more like the nostalgia of missing your childhood nursery then.
Then I went into a Wal-Mart...and realized that they also are exactly the same all across the country. And I was comforted.
Jehovah's Witnesses...the Wal-Mart of religion. LOL
ROFL, Piph! Unfortunately, you can't make free long-distance calls from Wal-Mart...
Piph, LOL that was funny.
I don't miss the meetings or many of the people. Sometimes I do get that feeling though much like a feeling of nostalgia I guess.
Sometimes on a Saturday morning the weather will remind me of being out on field service with my friends. We always had a good time out there when we were in our early teens. We were always talking about cute boys and hoping we would meet one at the door. LOL
But I realize that is just me missing my friends not the religion.
I am here - so I am part of something big. ;-)
